lost my husband's love because of inlaws war

Time and again, I am noticing that there are many wives that has too much dependency on their respective husbands for any kind of happiness. If DH does not agree to come with the wife for shopping, then the wife is believing that life is doomed etc. NO. Please don't think so. You are an educated woman that seems to have a good career for yourself. Please don't rely on your spouse for 100% of happiness.

For your DH, his parents come first and you are next. That's what he is telling. Does it show in his actions? Does he expect you to do unreasonable things or does he just want you to call them once in a while and talk? Do you live with your in-laws? I really hope you are not.

 

Yes perfect..Atleast you realize many are going through this..

Trust me , in India 99% of women go through this...

Men support there parents no matter what, though he sees
they are wrong, he wont agree it in front of you.... Nor hate
or question them for that... This is FACT......

Now how to overcome this ???

First thing stop giving too much importance to your dh...
(more you show you miss him, he tries hard to get)

Spend more time for urself, show him that you are happy by urself.
(Read books, watch movies, go for a facial, talk to your friends)

STOP criticzing or bringing past about his parents.....
(He will be ready to start defending them and fite you)

If PIL topic comes be neutral, never be too good or speak bad of them.
(Once he sees you are not talking ill of them, he will see you as a great
person who forgot/forgave them)

When you feel he is coming around, instead of giving hard time,
(creating demand) be good to him...

Appreciate when he does small things you liked, talk about how
much you love him(never say u liked him so much but he hurted u)

Cook his favourites, arrange for romantic dinners and movies....

I did this, things worked out for me...Hope it helps you..

 

OP, I saw you have started 5 threads in 2 months, and all about your DH siding with inlaws.

Sometimes we start thinking how we are neglected and try to consol, but then this negative feeling will keep spiralling around us like some web and the negativity never leaves us. When it happens, everything seems to be bad around us and even the smallest things will be magnified. Maybe you are stuck in this negativity web.

Please calm yourself. I suppose you work, if so concentrate on your job more. If you have kids, plan more activities with them and try to keep yourself super busy. Increase your social circle, make new friends. Just call your inlaws, say Hi, Bye and say you are busy. If they start scolding/hurtful words, just say I dont have time right now, will call back. If your DH starts his tirade, just tell him you are busy with work,kids,home,etc. Try to avoid them for some days. Imagine yourself as some single mom and do everything. When you avoid them, they will realize how much they miss you. It worked for me. My DH never supported me ever. Even now he doesn't, but he stopped blaming me for everything, as I avoided all these dramas for a while. And my DH missed me so much and our relationship has improved since. Even with my inlaws, atleast we are in talking terms now, just cordial.

 

World Traveller now stop being stuck at the usual ILaws land and move on and travel , see what more the world has to offer.

 

Well now that you've realized he's treating you secondary, can you pls reciprocate?
Leave your H for everything else thats keeping you busy and happy.

Not all marriages are meant for total husband wife... love, support and understanding... some are meant to be bad and platonic for others to cheer and be happy for themselves.

Eventually he's the one who shall be loosing your love due to HIS parents. A hard reality, but look at the brighter side, you can concentrate on your career and kids when a lot of women submerged with love and gratitude of partner and kids take a step back and be at home for emotional fulfillment.... you're made to achieve other heights if nor relationship and esp marriage....
Don't IGNORE whats happening with you, but use this energy to generate a positive growth in your life.


I understand your botheration and desperation to have a perfect HAPPY LOVing married life, however its a both way street and for some ppl a strong obstruction is present to enjoy it fully, you can break your energies on brooding over the blockage or leave this road and find another that gives you happiness.

 

u do the same on ur husbands back behave as u dont know anything(innocent)
these type of inlaws need tit for tat treatment otherwise they wont change at all,they will emotionally trap their sons,with crocodile tears.