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Lost Love On Husband And On Family Responsibilities

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Reesha, Jun 14, 2019.

  1. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    HI Ilites,

    i am loosing my intrest on my husband, because he will be fine when i am active and healthy, self manageable. but in recent days, his true color opened when i discharged from hospital after c-section. he behaved like a stranger. now i am afraid to go back to my husband house and lost intrest to take responsibilities in his home as a wife. but i have 2 kids now, so cant escape for long time. he loves his kids and will take care them lot.

    its been 8 years, i lost my beauty because of age, pregnancy, kids caring and job...more responsibilities . i have taken these responsibilities with love until i got to know true color of my husband. now i am in low mentally...staying with mothers place. husband and inlaws are staying in hyderabad. not getting intrest to go to hyderabad. afraid to have relation with him after these many years because i lost belief on him, lost love on him.:fearful:

    he got promoted 6 months ago, his salary has been increased. so he is bread winner now.i resigned my job for pregnancy and delivery, so i lost my grip financially. of course i am consuming my expenses from my savings only and those are enough for next 2 years.he is having feeling that he is earning more, so that he should get all services like tasty food, comfort environment(no complaints, no arguments and no issues of home management). that mean he wants me to run home with in his budget like a super women and like a super mom cum as sexy wife. because he is bread winner right.

    but these responsibilities i did bluntly even those are suffering my health , my wishes and career because i had love cum belief. but now i lost those and afraid to step into his home.

    he became super busy with office work, so he is able to allocate time to work, kids, finance management. so only work-kids-finance-sex-work-kids-finace-sex---its became repeating sequence and no space to lovely talking, no space to heart full emotional sharing. because no time..to them as per his view and those are unnecessary seems to be. i explained my feelings already...but he is just smiling and leaving.
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2019
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  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Did he behave like that when he came to you for having a kid ?
    Why are you using your expenses? Why isn't he helping you financially?
    With some help to take care of your kids can you resume your work ? And take that grip which you have lost over finances.

    OP I don't get why would you be afraid of someone with whom you went and decided to have two kids.
    There's more to this here which you haven't mentioned or I'm not reading in between your lines in the thread.
    When he can allocate time for kids-finance-sex and not allocate time to get involved with you emotionally it sounds strange for me. I'm sorry I'm unable to give you any solution for your problem here.
    A man would respect what is the need of his woman (wife) and he will try to give it. .
    If he has a need for sex from you, you too have a need for emotional connect with him which he ought to give you.

    Give your relationship sometime. See if taking a vacation or something will help you connect with him.
    Don't be afraid .
     
    shravs3 and SinghManisha like this.
  3. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Why are you using up your savings ? The kids are as much his responsibility as it is yours. Plus you had to take a break from your career and making money. Go back , but on your own terms and conditions. Your husband can be a breadwinner because you are taking care of kids and home. So you don’t owe him anything more than what he owes you.
    Are you suffering from PPD ? This could make things worse. Talk to your doctor and take care ,if that’s the case.
     
    guesshoo and shravs3 like this.
  4. jans84

    jans84 New IL'ite

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    Try to join back work and go back on the terms that you want.its crazy how men behave after kids
     
  5. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    I can understand your situation. Dh wants a caretaker without offering any love or care or affection.
    Communication is the only key. You sitting in your parents place and wiping out your savings is not going help in anyway
     
    Reesha likes this.

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