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Lonely Life

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Meghaa, Jan 30, 2017.

  1. Meghaa

    Meghaa Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you @DDream & @SunPa - it helps to vent and feel like someone listens , understands. I really appreciate it .
    Its not that I dont have people in my life who will listen - but they have pretty much heard it all. Said everything they could and doing whatever they can to help me. But I still need to let it out every now and then.

    Yes , I do realise the privilege of living outside India and am grateful for being in control of whom to interact with.
     
  2. Vennella

    Vennella Gold IL'ite

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    Megha

    Reading your first post on this thread gave me a jolt. It could have been written by me. Word for word. Right now, I am in one such frame of mind where I am constantly thinking about my relationships, and how I am so lonely.
    I am thinking and rethinking about my past and how I cut some people off. But however I reason, I always come to the conclusion that I couldn't have done it in any other way.
    Now, I have come to such desperate state that I think "Is it better to have continued my relation with people who hurt me, just so I had the relations in name at least?"
    That is my state now.
    I think I have the unique ability to drive people away who I genuinely like too.
    So I kinda lose both ways:disrelieved:
     
  3. Meghaa

    Meghaa Silver IL'ite

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    I am sorry you are going through the same..
    But the thought that gives me solace is this : No one person is 100% responsible for a relationship between 2 people.
    If someone is not interested in meeting you halfway , that relationship will only cause you stress sooner or later. Its better to cut your losses and move away.

    It is not that I have never had any problems with the people who ARE in my life - but when there was one , they were willing to forgive me and also try to change their behaviour. Even if I was upset and tried to keep distance , they would reach out to me in time or would respond when I reached out.

    I have noticed that the above behaviour is missing from those that I did drop. So I know that I was only hanging on to them until I was ready to tell myself I have done everything I can.

    Dont be harsh on yourself - people who are meant to be in your life , will hang on even if you aren't at your best behaviour. Or will come right back at the first opportunity.
     
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  4. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    I dont know what it feels like to be on an infertility journey but I can relate to wanting something so badly , walking on a path of thorns to try to get it and feeling hopeless when it goes out of reach. But I stick to the saying that if faith is all you have you have all you need . We have to believe that this is not a random universe where for some people things fall into place easily while others struggle . At any moment things are exactly the way they are supposed to be . When things are not going well this will not make sense ,but one day you will look back and Realize that everything happens for a reason, our lifescript is perfect . The dots connect backwards . So gather all the hope you have still left and continue on your journey !
     
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  5. IMe

    IMe Senior IL'ite

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    Hi megha

    Trust me i cud have written your post a year ago. I went through numerous fertility treatments ectopic pregnancy miscarriages and what not. I had distanced myself from friends and family as i wasnt able to identify anything in common with them all. Everyone seemed busy with their own families.

    But after 7 years of marriage i am blessed with a baby girl and find that even the people extended family friends etc that I distanced myself from, are back. If they wish you well they will come back no matter what.

    If you can absolutely not imagine your life without kids please keep up with the fertility treatments and know that one way or other it will happen.

    Meanwhile travel if you like. Plan and take a break between treatments. Dress up focus on your career and find like minded peopel to hang out with. You cannot control family but you can make new friends starting right now. New friends that wont judge you and will be there for you. Hugs and prayers xx
     
  6. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    Have come across many couple suffering from primary infertility distancing themselves from siblings and relatives and friends and even classmates.

    Why so ? Out of the fear that anyone at the first site will ask how many kids do you have ?


    It shouldn't be that way right ? being in fertile itself is a big pressure, top of it distancing oneself from everybody is another pressure.
     
  7. Emarald

    Emarald Silver IL'ite

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    Megha you need to learn techniques to relax your mind and be happy within yourself. Then you will definitely conceive. Please learn vipassana meditation or any meditation technique. It doesn't cost anything. Just practice regularly and remove stress from you mind. Its just focusing on your breathing and not thinking anything else. God bless you.
     

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