Lonely And Depressed

Yeah I know what u mean...
We all have those moments..
The solution is to keep ur self extremely busy so u don't get time to brood over anything..
Also be emotionally independent so u do not depend on anyone to make u feel good..self confidence that u can handle anything on ur own, that's important.
Also be thick skinned..if ur extremely sensitive I'll have such thoughts more often.

 

Dear op I can completely relate you . Sometimes I wonder if anyone notice my absence ?? No one. May be after weeks or months people may notice oh i didn't message and call. I feel some stage of life everyone goes through this ..

I used to be very much active and social person but now I am not. I wonder how can I get myself back..

I was searching for old motivation threads in IL . Couldn't find anything .I will follow this thread ,I can also use some advice and motivation to be back in track ..

 

How you keep yourself busy ?

 

People may find gloomy people scary so avoid them. In a good mood, one takes good-humoured tease lightly but in a chronic melancholic mood, the same person is hyper-sensitive and will accuse of malice in ribbing. That might be the reason why many avoid hanging out with dull and gloomy people because they have no clue how to deal with such super-sensitivity and suppress their own happiness. You say something they feel bad, you don't say anything they feel even bad. The safe and polite retort is a cliched "Be happy" or "Good luck". At times the inconsolable ones might even lash out at an innocent listener for not being sympathetic or helpful enough. These might be the reasons for avoiding mopey kinds. When I cannot help, I don't want the other person to feel more depressed after talking to me and not securing empathy. Few cannot empathise because they have no idea what it means to suffer so much pathologically or psychologically.

"just deny saying don't make stamp on yourself just be happy"

They might not always deny just that they are clueless how can someone be so miserable in life ruling out neurological disorders. Hence they use the jaded retort "Try to be happy". I am giving you one perspective why people might distance from you. Not that they don't recognise your pain but they have no clue how to deal with you having never suffered such mental turmoil.

Such reflection is the first step to come out of it. How are others doing it whereas you are stuck ought to be the fundamental inquiry of human condition. You may find your answer some day. Life techniques are very personalised and not universally applicable. But this reflection is a good place to start and seek your answers.

Next time someone distances from you or is unreceptive, it need not be you, yeh, it is them, those clueless and inept peeps. Move on and find someone who can help you better and don't think too much about impassive people. By not helping you, they are in fact doing a favour by not ill-advising you in their clueless state. Hope you caught the drift. A bad advice is more dangerous than no advice.

 

One more thing which also came up in US school threads was to teach kids life skills not just academic skills.

This task should be shared by parents and teachers. Don't smother and over-protect kids. Don't protect them from misfortunes, let them confront setbacks and bounce back early in life. Don't shield too much from the "bad bad bad world". When they experience life early, they are inoculated against it. By teens, they should spurt emotional intelligence and in their twenties a full-formed resilience and adaptation. Setbacks in a controlled environment don't emotionally harden or scar, they only make one emotionally muscular and not easily rattled in life. These life skills are very important. I don't know who should teach kids though — parents, teachers or Zuckerberg.

 

Try to volunteer in some Orphanage or less privileged people's homes. You will feel blessed in so many ways thereby giving you a positive outlook about life.

 

Dear op,
Am also at ur stage dear...i miss all my friends but everybody are busy in their own life.. No mood to get new friends.. I believe friendship shud happen naturally..
Even though I have been surrounded by my kids.. At times I feel so depressed for being
Total useless.. U will cm pass this cloud soon.. Trust me..

 

Idle mind is devil's workshop so never let the brain idle...keep yourself busy with learning new stuff like crafts, gardening, fine arts, cooking and what else.
Do volunteering, visit your favorite places and doing your favorite interests make you busy.....