Living Separately And Happy Together

Well done so quick. Learnt it fast for your age.
God bless.

 

sssSSHHHhh...
What age ? Everybody is the same age on the internet.

 

Lol.

 

Dear Hari Sir,

You have nailed two important points for nuclear family formation namely a) migration and b) need for personal space. Career opportunities for both men and women have become endless and the world has become a global village. At the same time, technology made access to extended family so easy. In the previous generation, families consider the presence of parents, uncles, aunts and so on as a great opportunity to raise the children with good family values. Now, building a robust wealth for excellent education of the children combined with easy access to the extended family through technology enabled many couples to explore this option. In most cases, the need more than the differences of opinion that resulted in nuclear families. As long as everyone understands this, the life becomes smoother for everyone.

 

My spouse & I too had that kind of nagging feel when we lived separately for over two decades and a half. Just to be together with my parents in their sunset years, We took early retirement and shifted to parents place at Chennai From Mumbai.

Initially in this joint family set up we were all a happy lot and my son and daughter were very happy as they were in their teens. They blended nicely with my parents.

But sooner the dissensions and dissatisfactions surfaced up and every night there was lot of pillow talk.

Few weeks later my spouse decided on something and jointly we told parents to stay separately under the same roof in ground floor. We equipped them with separate kitchen and hired a cook for them.

We lived in upstairs. My parents in downstairs were a lot happy. They enjoyed that extra mirchi In meal until 2009-10, while we had our chappathi and mild dishes.
Thanks and Regards.

 

When the Tadka (Wikipedia has an entry for Tadka too !!) is done with mustard, curry leaves, dry-red-chilis, cumin etc. etc., the mild eaters would get the Tadka without the red chilies being slivered (cut open); the hot-eaters would have the Tadka with chilies cut open. That is the difference forin-living desi's use when long-lost relatives visit, or when having to slowly slowly get their foreign born children to the taste of cut-open chilies in the Tadka. This is done by first "tempering" the dish with half of the Tadka for the local family's consumption with the chilies unbroken, then the chilies will be broken in the rest of the Tadka, and that would be added to whatever (Rasam, Sambar, Dal etc.) that needs tempering.

Quite often the issue that HL raises would have nothing to do with how mirchified the meal is. Having to take care of the previous gen' costs a bunch -- in both mutual affection points, and in real money. Recently I had posted an American version of it in the Never Mind thread. It is a tough issue; and the solutions can never be generic. Each individual situation would be different. HL's Canadian friend would have a different experience that is unique and very different from anyone else's.

 

THANKS. Interesting and useful read.
2. Quite an insight ON TADKAPEDIA.
3. In our kitchen for spouse & I, it is always unslivered.

4. I wish I had stated this tadka in detail in

Spouse, Sambandhi & Uppuma


God loves all menu - tadka with or without mirchi.