Live Today As If You Were To Die Tomorrow!

Experience is the great teacher, it gives the test first and lessons afterwards.

I realized this in life recently, after miserably failing in the test that my life gave.

A few months back, my life was a big roller coaster ride. I had a hard time making decisions about my career, financial matters, future etc..etc..
I was a bit too concerned about my future, and that of my little family because I felt my H is not responsible enough to be on the driving seat.
Since the time I took over the "head" role of my family, things became haywire and I couldn't balance my work & life very well.
With all this in head, I used to feel bad about my destiny. I used to worry so much about our future and the folks here may remember my repeated threads about all these concerns in the relationship forum.

A couple of weeks back, I met my school friend with her family. Her transformation from a typical lower class average looking girl to a high class posh looking elegant woman made me wonder, how life can be so good if you are married to a well settled man.

Yes, her life and everything about her changed after her marriage in the span of some 6-7 years.
She has moved into a metro city, to a very luxurious apartment, and experienced a very stable, settled life with her loving spouse and 2 little kids aged 3.5 yrs and 3 months old.
Apart from the excitements of meeting this pair after a long time, I felt little jealous about her life style though.
This is exactly what I yearned all these while. A well settled life, where I should no longer worry about anything.

I even had an argument that night with my H, and I know it was originated from what I saw in my friend that day.
I encouraged my H to work hard, earn more and contribute more to the family, so that my hard work and compromises will be paid off at least one day to live a beautifully settled life of my dream like my friend.

On last Wednesday, my H told me that he saw my friend's H at a leading hospital, stating that she was sick and admitted there.
I brushed that off, thinking it could have been some infections or child related matter, as she was a new mother then. She didn't seem to be sick when I met her a couple of days back.
The next day, a taxi guy from their place mentioned that so and so is seriously ill, and everyone from her home is rushing to the hospital now.
I called up her H, and someone picked the phone and told me that she was in the ICU now. I was unsure about this news.
I tried to reach out to them for more info, but couldn't get through that day.

On Friday, I tried my luck by calling her H again, but his mom picked the phone and cried inconsolably. She only gave me the message that she has passed away a short while ago at the ICU, due to unknown illness.

I rushed to the ICU immediately, where I found all her family members were weeping, and screaming as no one could bear this shock that easily.

It seems, she had Dengue, but unknowingly she had consumed painkillers for the body pain and headache due to the virus. Which caused internal bleeding, and her body wasn't able to fight back due to her weak immune system. She was a feeding mother, which made the case more vulnerable to Dengue.
Within a span of a couple of days, the life of a very young (30 yrs old), beautiful, well settled, successful woman came to an end.

Her two young kids became motherless, her young husband became a widower and the fate of that well settled young family became so fragile with this unexpected loss.

For sometimes, I was clueless as to what I suppose to do. My head started to spin, and I cried as if the death was mine.

Everyone cried inconsolably looking at the innocent faces of those young kids, who tried to wake their momma from her eternal sleep.

Back at home, I revised this lesson that I learned at her funeral. After battling with the tests God gave me in the past few months, this lesson taught me everything i needed to know.

Is this the life I felt jealous about? Is this the life I called settled? Is this the life I demanded from my H?
Is this the life I work hard for?
When things are uncertain like this, why do we waste our todays for the unseen tomorrows?

With the past, you have nothing to do, nor with your future. Live now.
Live today as if you were to die tomorrow, and learn as if you were to live forever!!!

This woman suddenly appeared in my life after so many years, only to teach me this eternal lesson to change my life.

May her soul rest in peace!

 

It happens... I am glad that i was able to convey my lessons to someone sails in the same boat as me.

 

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.
I am yet to recover from the shock, and I am actually unable to believe this first.
I wish, RIP means, return if possible, that too for those tiny young kiddos.
She is gone... life is as such.... What to do?