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'life or money?', said my DH.

Discussion in 'Money Matters' started by riefa, Dec 22, 2011.

  1. riefa

    riefa Bronze IL'ite

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    hi ladies..
    I am in a big confusion regarding our financial problem. I am married with 8 mo's old baby, living in a small city in mumbai. My husband is having a mobile phone bussines in partnership and 1 small phone store (both are still growing). He used to work abroad but decided to not continue after our marriage. Now from both business, the income isn't (yet) enough for 3 of us to live. At the moment we live as a joint family, his brother support the living expenses, so we are saved. Recently my DH got an offer to work abroad in american company, but he doesn't feel like going. If he will go, he can call me n our baby after 2-3 months. But, He said he wants to do his own business and there is no life if we work abroad because both of us have to work (mon-sat, 8-4) and have to put our baby in babysitting.
    Seeing our condition now, i think we should go abroad (anyhow there is chance) and make our life. I want to make my daughter future bright. Most important we cant always depend on his brother to live, one day he will marry also (he works in cruise ship). My DH always said the business will grow nice, be patience. But it's been months i dont see any significant progress, i am worried. Even his parents telling him to do work abroad, do some savings then settle in india. He told me, there is easy money but no life abroad and its hard to earn here but there is nice life with family. I don't know what to do. Ladies please advice.
     
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  2. spuppala

    spuppala Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Riefa,

    I understand your problem totally.But I guess that you should have posted this in married life forum to get more responses.

    Anyhow coming to the point,your husband has a point in his opinion saying that the life will be dry at abroad.But if we want to get something we need to lose something that is obvious.Also as per your words,if you are relying on your BIL's money it is not right.As you said,it will become harder once he gets married.

    Convince him that you need to have a separate life and cannot depend on anyone else.Explain him softly that it don't give you peace if you rely on others for your living and should have a separate identity,Take help of your in-laws in convincing them.I guess he is too sacred to go to remote place leaving all his family.Also it is not that mandatory for both of you to work as your kid is too young still and can manage your expenses.However if you are keen on working leaving your baby in a day care,that is different issue.

    If possible ask your FIL to take care of the business and your H can guide him from abroad.Or search for any well wisher or friend who could take care of that in his absence..and observe for few months which life suits you/him or together better..

    However,relying on a other person is not right and safe in long run.Convince him girl..but don't fight with him it will only make it worse..
     
  3. riefa

    riefa Bronze IL'ite

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    hi spuppala,
    actually i was about to post in married life forum but then i thought its more about money matter, is there any way to move it?
    Yes i am trying to explain him softly that the main thing is we cant depend on others. We cannot take risk of doing business as we have no saving. Suppose we are not living in joint family, the income isn't even enough to run the house. That's why i am worried. My MIL also keeps telling him to go. I guess it's more of his desire to have his own business, i can understand. We are discussing this openly. I just don't want to make decision in rush and to see other points of view also.
     

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