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Life is all about adjustments between your feelings and reality

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Oct 28, 2015.

  1. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Life’s problems are something like this.
    .
    Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.
    Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.
    .
    Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.
    .
    It’s important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to ‘PUT THEM DOWN’ at the end of every day before you go to sleep…
    .
    That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

    In the present world many parents are staying alone as their children are abroad. Many parents think that they should not trouble their children, they have grown up, they have their own life so they want to be independent. Many parents like to stay in old age home even if their children are ready t take care of them because the parents also want their own space . They dont mind helping their children in taking care of the grandchildren if it is necessary, otherwise they like to stay separately or old age homes. Many people think that the children have left them there , but some of have gone to stay on their own.

    Today had gone for Narayaneeyam and my husband's friend was celebrating his 80th birthday and kept Narayaneeyam. His children are abroad and they could not come for the Narayaneeyam. I was feeling sad for them. Usually the daughters or daughter in law give haldi kumkum and the thambulam but here their friends were helping to give the thambulam, only her sister had come.

    After children are grown up and well settled parents also need some rest. They are happy to stay with the children and grandchildren if they have to stay with them because grandchildren make them happy. But in some houses the children feel that the grandparents are spoiling the grandchildren. In today's world so much competition is there for the children that every parent want their child to be the best.

    Life is all about adjustments..
    Between your FEELINGS and REALITY…
    At every stage..
    You have to QUIT..
    Your FEELINGS and accept the Reality…


    Lucky are those parents who stay with their children and grandchildren and make them happy and they also are happy. EVery house needs elderly persons to teach the children good things . When they advice the children, the children many not like but later when they grow up they also understand and come to know that what their parents advised them was 100% right.
     
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  2. Poetlatha

    Poetlatha Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow Viji Ma,

    wonderful thread, I'm with you in this journey of life, I always want to stay with my inlaws but my situation does not co operate. I strongly believe and rely on your concluding ideas. Though there is so much advancement and the younger generation seem to be smarter but still something is lacking and I always from the bottom of my heart believe that we should live with our parents. Our old style three generation under one roof. (Parents - children - and their children). Love your ideas of how to handle the challenges and drop it out of our head each day before we hit the bed. Very good stress reliever. As always from the fountain of experience, and simple but sincere facts of life. Good job, keep penning.... Hope you had a wonderful Navarathri!...love you....missed you...@iyerviji

    poetlatha
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. Poetlatha

    Poetlatha Platinum IL'ite

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    @iyerviji : also VijiMa, as you mentioned feelings become like a world of fantasy, reality hits us hard and shapes us into a more productive person. Acceptance is the first step for advancement in our life! Awesome snippet! Hats off to you Ma!
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    @Poetlatha, you believe or not just yesterday I was thinking of you Latha dear, like that you are always in my thoughts. Was thinking why you are not to be seen. Here in IL many have come and gone, some have become close like you but not active these days. I am still continuing and missing the close friends here

    mademydaysmiley with your first feedback and that too a lovely feedback, agreeing to what I have written. Glad to know you would like to stay with your in laws. The thinking of today's generation is different and unless the parents understand it is difficult for them. I was wondering whether I have put the facts properly but with your feedback I am happy that you have understood what I have written. I think @jayasala akka and @viswa will give a proper and perfect feedback for this thread

    Thanks dear and happy tos ee you after a long time. I also missed you during Navratri

     
  5. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you very much @Poetlatha, Latha dear glad you liked the snippet
     
  6. Rith

    Rith IL Hall of Fame

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    Wonderful thread Viji ma. 100% true. Every house need an elder person to make it as a home. not only for children but also for the younger generation it so diffcult (I feel) to decide on important things like finance, child growth etc., Even today me and my husband consult with my inlaws to invest on something. With respect to my kid, for each and every thing starting from food to give and medicines and for small small things I go te her and consult. This gives them happy.
    Grandchildren growing with grandparents is a boon for both the sides. Obviously both positive and negatives are there, but positive side is more. So it is better to ignore minor negativity and appreciate the positivity..
    ignoring the feeling and accepting the reality is what this generation badly needs. but the problem is this is hyperspeed world. very less rooms to think and react. so in hurry words are piercing out and cracks appear in the glassy relationship. Finally it becomes very difficult to repair on both the sides.
    Accepting the reality is the high end of reaching the maturity. Whether this generation attains the maturity is the billion dollar question :)

    Hats off for this wonderful snippet Amma..
     
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  7. girvani

    girvani Finest Post Winner

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    Dear viji ma

    Loved this snippet with so much to take on. I was so blessed to keep my parents with me until three years ago. They were there until my second son was born. Then we have moved to Qatar for three years due to work and my parents went back home. I so wish they are with me now but at the same time I am ever so grateful for those years. I always tell my boys that ammamma and thatha bought you up.
    Thanks Viji ma for teaching us to drop our worries and anxiety before we go to bed. I loved the below
    Life is all about adjustments..
    Between your FEELINGS and REALITY…
    At every stage..
    You have to QUIT..
    Your FEELINGS and accept the Reality…

    How true is this.
    Thank you
    Vani
     
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  8. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    Viji i understand your feelings.what to do we have to go along the stream of life.cheer up
     
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  9. parineetha

    parineetha IL Hall of Fame

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    Vijima, This thought was rubbing my head since morning after I read cheeniya Sir's post on how he was coaxed by his beautiful daughters to make their parents spend their old age with them and how they wished the grandchildren are brought up in the same way they did theirs. Did your post stem out from his reflections? Just in case..thinking!
    Coz here I'm @ offc constantly starring my laptop but my thoughts are wandering and roving around my poor parents who are all alone with 3 daughters moved to their new families. I wish so much they could move in with one of us (luckily..happily..fortunately all 3 of us want them so much with us). But I don't think they'll ever accept to, leaving the hometown, the home they built so lovingly, their space, their small world, more than everything may be fact they don't wanna be dependent on us...just their Old thoughts, I still refuse to understand it coz I simply don't want to leave them alone no matter how luxuriously they live. I need them so much. Ah! Why Am I venting so much, dono..And this post of yours have started to stir it all the more.
     
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  10. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rith dear glad you likedthe thread. You are right dear elders have experience which will help the children on any problems they face. Glad to know you and your husband consult your in laws regarding investment and regarding any problems with kids.

    You are right Grandchildren growing with grandparents is a boon for both the sides. But everyone does not get that opportunity. You are right why to see the negative side, see the positive side only

    The problem I feel is youngsters today have hectic life both int he office and home, their children have to face challenges, so sometimes they do not have patience to handle the situation. Thanks for the thought provoking feedback and compliments about my snippet
     
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