Life in total Mess

Oh God !
Its really sad............... i feel very sad for ur DH
whatever u do should get back ur DHs respect
you pl speak with ur sis first, & get to know wat has happened in fact
& make ur sis realize tat nothing has happens wrong, and make ur parents realize his innocence patiently, if they accept "cool" otherwise leave tis issue as it is!

Thinking about this & speaking abt this itself very shame, it will hurt ur DH more, so pl forget tis , ppl will understand the truth soon, we cant prove our goodness, it should be realised

No worries Dear.............
Is the IM pic is ur DD?
So cute..............

 

Why did you tell your sister that what your dh did was wrong? So it's wrong to put your hand on the shoulder of a family member now? Seriously, you shouldn't have pandered to your sister and parents in a way that put your husband down. Having him apologize and stay clear from your sister was a good idea. But telling them that he was WRONG when you know in your heart he wasn't, isn't fair to him. Please do not be so desperate for your families approval that you are willing to trash your dh's self respect.

A lot of time in a love marriage where family was against the match, the family gets hypersensitive and will jump on any reason to talk bad about your spouses character. Because he wasn't THEIR choice, they might feel he is capable of any bad thing. I think it could be an ego thing and they are happy to use this incident againt him.

If you are 100% sure your dh is not like what your parents are saying, please stand by HIM.

 

asuitablegirl, IT IS WRONG TO TOUCH ANOTHER GIRL EVEN JUST LIKE THAT. SEETHIS HAS caused unnecessary problem. dong that with clear mind also will become a problem because the girl is young in age and may feel anything wrong.. why inviting problems? if her DH never touched her at all, she woul not have got that chance to tell that.

see sonasanju, this is not a big issue to worry about.. nothing happened.. you support your hubby and dont care about anyone losing respect on yourDH. if you make it big issue, it will become a big issue. so just leave it. ask your sister to behave dignified way with her BIL. thats how we shd behave because we r humans ,we have lust by nature.some peopleare strong, some are weak so shd maintain the limit. u dont have to make this an issue and make DH feel awkward. just leave it..

 

ur sister made a mistake taking it to your parents.. thats bad.. really bad. so its her mistake too.tell your DH not to touch anyone from other sex. shake hand, that too in profession is fine.

 

i feel bad for your husband and you.. i guess this is where the cultural differences come up in a really tragic way.. the way your husband has been brought up, hes been exposed to the way where interacting with a family member of opp sex does not mean lust by default & it is difficult for people who have been brought up in quite the opposite way to understand..
but i feel appaled by the way your sis has reacted, esp after you have said

this means even though your sisters been behaving that way, she still thought it was unacceptable.. in that case she should have reacted then..

But coming to you and husband, i think especially since we are all grown ups, we need to realise that people have different outlook & whats natural/normal to one might not be taken the same way by others.. so when we are with people who dont accept a particular behaviour, restrain from it. yes, that might be a way of showing afection & closeness in relationship for one, but for the other it might the greatest SIN.

Dont drag this on. you dont have to say your DH did wrong when you believe your DH has not done anything wrong. Tell your parents/sis that what he did might not be acceptable to them, so he apologises & thats end of story, but you dont think your DH did anything wrong as you trust him 100%.
They need to know you trust him & know him.

 

Sona , I would suggest please get the version of the incident from your sis as well.

 

Umm a dicey issue . Keep DH and sis apart thats the only way. We can never know the truth ,only those two can say for sure as to what happened.
Tell DH to be less jovial and to keep his hands to himself. No touching females unless its a handshake.
Actually this relationship of BIL and SIL is very delicate ,there can a lot of joking, but limits should not be crossed. If your sis was super sensitive she should have shown her annoyance the first time itself.
Maybe she feels that this behaviour will be frowned upon by her future hubby and family and wants to put an end to it.She may not be liking it now.