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Life Depends On The Liver!

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, May 1, 2017.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Life depends on the liver!

    The other day some members of the anti-liquor group came to our club to display a banner saying ‘Life depends on the liver’ in the bar of the club. Some members of the club got into serious argument with them. They wanted to know what the anti-boozing group meant by the word ‘liver’. If it was the person who lived the life, it was for him to decide how he lived. Nobody, they pointed out, had any right to advise others on how they lived. ‘You are violating the right of a man to live as he pleased’, warned one member of the club. The visitors pleaded that all they wanted to propagate was to take care of the liver which was a very crucial part of the body. ‘Do anything that may affect the functioning of your liver and your life is gone’, they explained. The club folks retaliated by saying that they knew what the visitors were driving at. They questioned if their campaign included protection of heart, brain and such other organs too. ‘Have you any poster for the welfare of the heart or brain?’, they asked.


    As the arguments generated a lot of heat, one member called for truce by inviting the visitors for a drink. One of the visitors feebly protested that he was on duty and could not drink. Other visitors looked at each other in total bewilderment not knowing what to do. The club members suggested that they could phone up their bosses and take a day off as they found it difficult to carry on in the beastly heat of summer. One member further suggested that in the gruelling heat of summer, a glass of beer was medicine to guard oneself against a sun stroke. It did take much persuasion to make the anti-drinking campaigners to dump their posters in an obscure corner and adjourn to the bar.


    As they ordered for a few pitchers of beer, the visitors’ faces brightened. A couple of them had guilt written all over their faces, a senior member took it upon himself to make them feel comfortable. One of the members took it upon himself to assuage the guilty feelings of the guests and displayed his flair for British History by referring to the exploits of the great Sir Winston Churchill. This great man, said he, explored the whole world for a cigar that would match the London beer. He finally pitched upon the Cuban and Indian cigar. He never stopped smoking or drinking and lived for 93 years, he proclaimed. He had no idea about Churchill’s other exploits that made him world famous and in any case he thought that it was of no purpose as a facilitator to rummage the pitchers of beer.


    Another member who is a great movie buff recalled the song from My Fair Lady. It’s about the agony of a man set to tie the knot in the morning and the consequent embargo that might fall upon his drinking.

    I’m getting married in the morning.
    Ding, dong the bells are gonna chime.
    Pull out the stopper, let’s ’ave a whopper,
    But get me to the church on time.

    ‘It happened to me too’, he continued and they had to pour several buckets of cold water on his head in order to sober him down so that he could locate his bride in the wedding altar! He pleaded with the anti-liquor campaigners that by not drinking beer to save the liver, they might die of sun-stroke in this beastly heat of summer if they did not have their regular quota of chilled beer.


    One of the campaigners while sipping his beer asked why not we switched over to cold water melon juice which was equally soothing. This suggestion infuriated the member so much that he shouted, ‘Leave the water melon to the cows to escape the heat of summer’. They cannot drink beer you know, he concluded.


    After the binge, the campaigners walked off the club leaving their banners behind unattended!
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2021
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  2. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    That was a good laugh CS. It reminded me of the story of "The Naughtiest Girl Becomes Monitor" by Enid Blyton, not to mention changing the mind of the policeman by inviting him to the party! :)
     
  3. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Cheeniya sir,

    For some reason I thought all the protesters were women!! Blame me it on the news - wasn't there something somewhere in India about it? I am sure some believers or perhaps wives convinced these guys that they should rally for the anti drinking campaign and then the club members convinced them to have a drink - my conclusion, alcohol or not these guys sure seem not to have a mind of their own.

    I do have to lodge a complaint sir - how dare some one call water melon juice is only for cows. You know it is one of my favorite juices? For some weird reason again, the word liver kept reminding me of the book The Giver? Have you read it. I watched the movie and I am fascinated by it. You know DH got interested for he thought it was about giving just like your conundrum about living/liver. He had chosen the movie and he lost interest pretty soon while I was enthralled by it.

    I agree with you health and alcohol/cigarettes are not always correlated at least in some cases. My maternal grandmother would not spend a day without her tobacco - yes! She had to hew it and a specific one only. My mom would go to great lengths to get t for her. She lived up to a ripe age of 94 - hale/healthy and alert!

    Now one question for you - were you in the club when the protesters came n?
     
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  4. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Cheeniya sir,
    So, your club has varied activities. Last time it was counselling for couples on the verge of divorce Which I think it was not very successful.
    This time.....it is taking care of the liver. Because outsiders are not coming for counselling members formed to two groups. Pro drinking and anti. This must be the brain wave of anti members when they were sober and planned to carry on with placards and slogans. But they could not be sober for long when others convinced them of the goodness of beer when temperatures were soaring. Already tired of slogans they must have felt even more tired and fell for the trap by pro members. Must have thought "let us put all this to one side and enjoy beer. Who cares about livers at this point of life!!!!"
    My guess is as Sabita wrote.....either must have sent by wives or did without their knowledge. If it is the first reason they must have been silent about their achievements when they go back home.
    Cheeniya sir was there for sure Sabita.....other wise how can he give such a detailed picture. I agree he is creative and he has great imagination but still I feel he was there.
    Enjoyed reading it with a big smile.
    Syamala
     
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  5. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    My dear Satchi
    I am glad you liked my rambling, one of my summer specials! I have not read Enid Blyton's classic that you mention but can guess the similarity of our plots! Blyton wrote her stories for children, girl children especially and I got into English learning far after my childhood. By the time I learned enough English, I had grown into an adult! So sadly enough, Enid Blyton could not find a place in my book shelf!
    Sri
     
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  6. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Srama
    I chose these lines of yours for my response ahead of your other thoughts because it was unfairly critical of open-minded men. Men are known for their accommodating stance. Be it a domestic squabble or a heated discussion in office, the men always declare that they have an open mind implying that they are not going to reject all contrary ideas. This great quality has been belittled by you saying that they have no mind of their own! In the instant case, they found the club members' more reasonable than their wives.
    Protesters included an equal percentage of men of course. They always lend a hand when their wives fight for just cases. But then some of them do get a doubt if it is a just cause at all.
    I have not read The Giver and honestly I have not even heard about it. I read about it in Google and realised that it was not my cup of tea. I often wonder about the reading choice of men and women. If you tell me what books a person generally reads and I can tell you if the reader is a man or woman.
    Why such a doubt at all? Of course I was there enjoying my mocktails. I normally go to the club to enjoy the human drama there.
    Sri
     
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  7. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    My dear Syamala
    When I talk of people who drink, I generally mean the casual drinkers who love a little fun in their lives. I am not sympathetic at all about hardcore drinkers who are found sprawled on roadsides under the effect of an overdose of alcohol. If you want to know of the fun side of drinking, you must read Chapter 17 of Right Ho Jeeves by Wodehouse. It is hilarious and is perhaps one of Wodehouse's best lines.
    Thank you so much for your appreciation of my brand of humour and more particularly for your trust in me!
    Please read the passage of Wodehouse that I have cited about from the web and you will understand how funny drinkers can get!
    Sri
     
  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Cheeniya Sir,

    Thank you for such a humorous post. The one who came to protest drinking under the pretext that "Life depends on the liver" eventually decided to open the lid of beer bottles and have their fair share of beer. What an exciting idea it is to present to the protestors that they need to cool off in order to bear the heat of the summer by drinking beer.

    Life also depends on the brain and the alcohol considerably impairs the brain activities as well at least temporarily if not permanently. Some call it as "telling as it is" in Donald Trump's terms. Even though I don't drink alcohol, I have watched many of them for a long period of time. Everyone of them are proud to say that they are unaffected by alcohol no matter how much they drink but it is for the ones who hear them to determine how alcohol influences their brains. Speech impairment is noticeable when the alcohol level goes above a certain limit. The sweat and the facial color indicates the level of alcohol very quickly.

    If I go to a football game in the US, I notice many enjoy drinking huge cups of beer to overcome the heat. They appear to enjoy the beer more than the football game. That is why major companies like Budweiser announce in the stadium that those who drink could contact or text a phone number for driving them back home. Even the manufacturers know how it impairs the brain of those who drink. When one is in the company of friends, he never knows how much to drink. Nowadays, women are active in drinking as well.

    DUI misdemeanor in the US is determined as alcohol level above 0.08 and the cops measure it by asking the drivers to blow into the breathalyzer. The Standardized Field Sobriety Test ("SFST") consist of horizontal gaze nystagmas ("HGN"), the walk-and-turn and the one-leg stand tests. Even in a normal condition, I might be able to pass the first two but not the third one and my only savior is the breathalyzer.

    Frankly, the protesters should have the placard that says, "Life depends on your brain" and suggested that they are ready to drink with the members if each one of them agree to go through SFST. :)

    Viswa
     
  9. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Viswamitra

    My dear Viswa
    I belong to the 'Kalavun Katru Mara' (Learn even the art of stealing but forget it after learning) group. I have had my drinking days and was hailed as a connoisseur of drinks. They would pass on a bottle of scotch to me to certify its genuineness. That was a phase of my life that earned me tremendous reputation. They are all sad that I am a teetotaler now but still I am a much respected man in their group due to my past performance. It is like the kind of reputation that Sachin enjoys in cricket if you know what I mean.
    There are two kinds of drinkers of alcohol. One is the Social drinkers' group and the other is the addicts. Even in clubs, we don't encourage addicts and keep a close watch over their consumption. I am talking here about the social drinkers who are such a source of fun. Even a morose person becomes a celebrated humorist like Wodehouse! They are called as elite drinkers. Clubs don't use the word 'booze' as it is considered demeaning. During the height of summer, people drink only beer and the hissing noise they make after their first ice cold sip is almost ethereal. It reminds me of the ecstasy of Devas after they were fed their share of 'Amirtha'.
    I have no ethical issues about drinking. My sons in law love ice cold beer in the beastly heat of summer and their enjoyment makes me happy. Isn't it the purpose of life?
    Sri
     
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  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Cheeniya Sir,

    I have no ethical issues about social drinking either. In fact, it is very common where I live. Even when we visit Indian get-together events, the hosts always ask anyone care for a Scotch when most western get-together events offer wine. I am all for enjoying the humor except when I am attending a dinner meeting to negotiate a deal. I keep my listening skills up when others who drink put their protective shield down. In fact, mostly in dinner meetings, we found the actual expectations of the sellers/buyers.

    In fact, many have suggested that I should smoke a weed in order to be happy, focus on anything I contemplate and see the outcome. I have not tried it so far. Perhaps, that is why the people living in Varanasi are very happy and in constant pursuit of spirituality. I am a believer that happiness needs to be found inside of me and not outside.

    Viswa
     

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