Life After Seperation

I sympathize with your situation. God bless you and give you strength and wisdom to take right decisions. But I can smell general disrespect for ladies here when you say "if what ladies say is true.." Your wife is wrong when she thinks only about herself and has emotional affairs when she has a husband and little kids to look after. But you cannot generalize it to all women. You don't know the plight of Indian ladies. They are expected to remain submissive in spite of their intelligence and capabilities. I have not read your earlier posts but i hope you understand you cannot clap with one hand.

I did dishes and cooking when I had US flu of 103F. Confirmed with doc. He said this kind of flu won't kill me. So what.. its my duty. If I don't do it my kids will go hungry. My son sleeps at 2 am and I get up with my daughter at 6.15 am so that she catches her 7 am bus. I sacrificed my career for my kids. My parents are very well-to-do. They can very well feed me through my life. But I am here listening to MIL abuses only for my kids sake and for my husband sake to some extent.

What would you be without your responsibilities?

Human relations are complex. Either or both of spouses have to take active role in working of marriage. Your wife is incapable of doing her duties. So you do it. With your kind of situation, you should never have brought the kids into the world. Now that you have done so, shoulder your responsibilities. Be there for your kids. The kids won't have any place to run to when you are gone b'coz your ur wife is incapable of doing her duties.

I hope there is no physical violence involved in your marriage only emotional issues are there. They can very well be corrected. Sit with her and talk to her about your expectations from her and hear her out. Make this marriage work for KID'S SAKE.

 

Also, if she having so many emotional affairs, she seems depressed with life. US gloomy climate does that esp. if you are staying North. I think she is craving for love. Provide her with lots of love if you are still interested in maintaining this marriage.

 

The law does no such thing. If you can provide evidence (start writing a daily diary) that you are a better parent, you'd be given custody, and the ex will pay child support. Your money is better spent on a divorce lawyer than marriage counselors. Single parent life is horrible; but then, misery in life is on a comparative scale, isn't it ?

 

In public forums, you'd get opinions of various sorts. Everybody is working with "averages", whereas those who post problems tend to be exceptions, and out-liers.

Interesting that you use "not all", and "neither all" phrases. These are equivalents of the phrase "some are not", and therefore imply "most are". When this be the case, and you are in front of counselors, lawyers or judges, who had seen a cross section of women and men, you will be up against the norm. That is the way it is.

I've heard the locals in America wonder out loud, "Are all indian men devoted husbands ?", and I had occasionally given the answer: "Not all". ...with the obvious implication that most are.

 

Are your boys part of sports teams. That would really help build and strengthen them. Something to consider.

 

Dear OP,
Dont mistake that am saying you are at fault. Just trying to help and suggest you do a self realization check also.
I know a friend husband who blamed wife having affairs based on the chats, only mistake she did was letting the other guy flirt with her in the chat etc. well the girl didnt do anything beyond that but they had horrible fights got separated.

How do you know now that she has emotional affairs?. emotional affair is something in her mind ?
did she tell you directly that she is always thinking in mind abt some male person ?.
How did you come to know about her xx chats? do you know her passwords?.

She had a affair and she communicated that with you by herself in 2014?, so what is her expectation from you at that time? did you question her seeing any mails or chats so she surrendered that she did have but ended.
People dont tell openly abt EMA coz they know its wrong and society will blame them.

Just make sure you are not creating some thing big out of small things.
If your wife is laid back, make a list and share the work.

 

so you think everyone working in India are having affairs. seduce the co-workers, really bad to hear.I know all my relatives cousins working so hard in India. But not in the mindset of seducing. even the big companies like Amazon, Google etc are setting up in India so if Indians are busy doing this non sense how come doing so great at work.

are you a suspicious person.???

 

Hi

hHi

 

OP - this post has got very much deviated fromy our question. Are you still with your wife? Why dont you go for temporary separation and take the kids with you? I dont think your wife would object since as you say ,you are the only one doing majority of things around the house. Life would be the same with much less anger and dissatisfaction. Kids are already used to having you around them.Focus on them .Make them enjoy life. And as far as i have observed,law is not favorable to any one parent in the US. If you can prove that you are the PRIMARY CARE GIVER ,you can even get the sole custody. Its great that you have been working on yourself,going to meet ups etc. I would say lawyer up asap and get on with your life. Life would be great once you will believe that what you are doing is for the best.