Letter To The Bank From A 98 Year Old Woman (gotta Love It)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by meenaprakash, Oct 19, 2006.

  1. meenaprakash

    meenaprakash Silver IL'ite

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    LETTER TO THE BANK FROM A 98 YEAR OLD WOMAN (GOTTA LOVE IT)

    A 98 year old woman wrote this to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank

    My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

    Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:
    1-- To make an appointment to see me.
    2-- To query a missing payment.
    3-- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
    4-- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
    5-- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
    6-- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
    7-- To leave a message on my computer. (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact)
    8-- To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
    9-- To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call

    Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement

    May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year

    Your Humble Client
    (Remember: This was written by a 98 year old woman)
     
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  2. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    My dear Meena !

    I salute this woman. Just because some are senior citizens ( I am not still one, ofcourse, as you are aware), the banks cannot take them for granted.
    I liked this post a lot & my admiration goes the 98 year old young woman !
    Love & regards,
    Chithra.
     
  3. sudhavnarasimhan

    sudhavnarasimhan Silver IL'ite

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    Hi meena,
    That was too good....and good for her that she penned such a letter to the bank. Even i get annoyed by all these automated system, which keeps asking u to press 1 or 2and so on....pretty irritating...and so impersonal. after these people are met to be of service to us customers, be it an oldwomen or a young person. I wish these peple will simplify matters for public instead of complicating them.
    thanks for the posting!
     
  4. meenaprakash

    meenaprakash Silver IL'ite

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    great you guys liked it..

    Dear Chitra & Sudha,

    I think a lot of us can relate to that lady & have faced such situations while dealing with private banks.
    sometimes I feel our good old national banks are much better wherein we had a good rapport with the officials there. With computerisation & call centres, I do feel we have complicated our system. once during the rains in mumbai the control room of one of the banks got flooded and computers went dead for nearly a week we couldn't operate accounts and at these times our good old ledgers seem much better.

    Other thing is, till they get business from us, the top guy of the bank will be so very easily available but once the work is done, the nuisance of going thru automated system starts. I only hope the banks come up with some alternatives.

    this message came as a fwd & I don't know the authenticity of it but I too loved the way it was written & I do hope the top guys of banks do get to read this letter..

    I loved the para on the diff nos to be pressed to find her in diff places of her house. toooooo gooood.

    thanks ladies for your replies & shows how humourous you guys are!!!!

    Chitra, you definitely are not old. you are no where near that letter "O"

    Love & regards,
     
  5. meenu

    meenu Bronze IL'ite

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    How true

    Dear meena,
    I enjoyed this very much.The telephone numbers were a good joke.It shows how mechanisation reduces personal touch,
    regards,
     
  6. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Meena,
    this is not the plight of that lady, now this has spread to India also. You can never talk to a person if you call an office. You will be made to recite your case umpteen number of times before you reach the right person.
    Recently my hubby had a very funny experience with with net banking in ICICI. He had issued a cheque of his present account to open a new account in another state. The amount was not credited in his new account even after 20 days, even though the amount was debited from his old account. When he sent a mail, he got a reply that the said cheque was not of ICICI. If it is true, how come the amount was deducted from his account?
    Again he sent a mail, quoting this and then the amount was credited.
    We say that privatisation will bring efficiency, but I have my own doubts.
    We should all have a copy of this with us for future use.
    Good posting, Meena, thank you.
     
  7. sunitha

    sunitha Gold IL'ite

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    I beg to contradict!

    Dear all

    I really appreciate the letter from the old lady to the bank since many of us face this problem.But having worked in a multinational private bank for almost 10 yrs,I don't agree with the view that only private banks function that way.Because of some employees in some firm(be it a bank,a telephone company ,anything)not doing their work,we should not generalise and say that most 'private' banks function that way.I am very sorry to say this but I get very offended when any one says that privatisation is the root cause of many failures.Infact, India have developed so much in recent years only due to the privatisation and the competition that it brings along with it.
     
  8. meenaprakash

    meenaprakash Silver IL'ite

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    good to see more of you here.....

    Meenu, Good to see you here toooo & great to know you liked this fwd.

    Varloo, yes, I've heard similar complaints from others too. Now, let's not get tooo serious or the whole fun is lost. I'm planning to have the extn system like that of the old lady - but the problem is if I'm too busy in the bedroom then, what happens??? [now that Chitra has said only practicals, I'm sincerely following it (just like I'd follow her recipes & pujas & shlokas...ha, ha, ha!!!!) well, on a second thought it could be any other room!!!!!!!!! shall think about what message I could leave, if I'm busy :oops:

    Sunitha, I'm sorry if I've offended you in any way. thats definitely not the intention of posting this mail. Pls don't take it tooo seriously OR like I said, the fun is lost. we shall have the debate on whether Privatisation has done Good or Bad to Indian economy in another thread... definitely not here... cheer up, Dear!!!!!
     
  9. Eljaype

    Eljaype Bronze IL'ite

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    No input

    Dear Meena,

    This is my first interaction with you I think. You need not leave any message during your 'Practicals' (as per Chitra's advice). Just like our dear BSNL, say that "there is no input, call again later" Ok
    Latha :wave
     
  10. meenaprakash

    meenaprakash Silver IL'ite

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    good advice...

    Dear Latha,

    I actually didn't expect a reply for that message of mine but so sweet to know there are ladies who like fun.
    thank you Madam.. shall surely think about your input.

    Love & regards,
     

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