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Left Alone.. Feel My Life Has Come To An End.. Plz Help

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Star25, May 13, 2019.

  1. Star25

    Star25 Gold IL'ite

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    Yes dear.. Sure.. Your words are so powerful and strong that I feel so motivated and energetic from deep inside.. Thank u so much.. Yes I have come far from my negativity than what I had before.. I feel that I am growing stronger day by day.. Just tHat sometimes I feel miserable about my life as to why I got trapped in such a worst situation for no fault of mine..
     
  2. Star25

    Star25 Gold IL'ite

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    @nemesis : Wow.. Thanks for such encouraging words ..i loved your quote "it's not the mountains... ...sand in our shoe ". And also the last point that the future is a question mark for those who are at peak happiness at the current moment.. So true indeed.. But it's the tendency of the human mind to think about the future.. That is how I try to be by enjoying the current moment but at times some dreadful thoughts come to my mind that I feel what a lonely life am living and feel to die.. Next time if I get such thoughts I will read your lines and all the other suggestions given by other ILs which really mean a lot to me.. Thank u so much dear!!! Means a lot to me
     
  3. Star25

    Star25 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks dear.. Yes even I want to make good friends and move on with my life without thinking about the past or future.. And I came to a conclusion just like how u said that we cannot look for happiness or depend on others for happiness rather this can be done only by driving it from our own self.. Well I wish I could have been one of ur friends wen u were looking for friends.. I at least wish to be ur friend henceforth.. Stay in touch dear
     
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  4. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Sorry to hear that. If you don't want to continue, is it possible to nullify marriage based on impotency issue. Consult a lawyer if you don't want to continue in his life. May be a mutual can make it easy. consider its as a bad dream.
    Anyway, focus on yourself. Completely ignore others comments or questions. Be strong & positive.
    - "You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice"
     
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  5. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    I know its tough but continuous fight can only help you win. And no relationship can give you the guarantee of being together at old age. These days kids don't want to live with their parents for various reasons and not everyone is lucky enough to have long lived spouses. So everyone in this world is alone. Don't overthink about these things. Give your time to yourself and your career. Your parents are in so called normal world where they cannot see your pain. They can only feel the pain of tantrums passed by other people and passing it on to you. They are at their old age and they too need to feel free of their responsibilities. Don't worry sooner or later they will set you free to live your life and will not show many negative emotions. Just keep the things going and be more strong. Take Care.
     
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  6. SearchingPeace

    SearchingPeace New IL'ite

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    Rather than trying to force unhappy marriage on yourself, I would suggest you to buck up yourself financially and start a new life in a new place, even if a single life.
     
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  7. Novalis

    Novalis Gold IL'ite

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    Sometimes lightning strikes an unsuspecting wanderer twice. It is strange but not impossible that life twists into such coincidences that still have an uprooted opportunity for recoverable self-growth.

    Steady marriage and other uninterrupted pleasures of life are risk-averse. If you have found yourself as that outlier unmoored from the conventionality, then ask yourself: what are other insurgents who have been through such strange occurrences doing in life? Tell you: they are just doing fine, minding their own business untangled from any self-doubt that such occasions impute as they independently seize control of their lives willing to hazard the next big adventure of life.

    I was reading Martin Seligman the other day and happened to come across "self-explanation" of incidents that happen in our life. We cultivate a methodology to explain ourselves to us!

    In your case, a woman could despair as:

    Two sour relationships! I am lost in life! I give up! People would think of me as a loser! I don't know what impression I make of myself ..​

    Or she could:

    It is strange but life-affirming that I survived these experiences. I am still solvent. I have skills. Earlier, I only heard but not experienced the life stories of cultural misfits. My life story has made me empathetic to human condition that unforeseen reckonings familiarize us with the expansive rehabilitation. I am sure there are many others who have unusual goings-on in their life.​

    Our 'self-explanation' and subjective feeling about our esteem is the only impetus as the unrest from prejudice is jumbled mind-play. How others interpret the situation in their minds (she is an unfortunate soul! or miserable! or suspicious!) is their self-explanation of your interaction in their lives. These individual self-explanations don't have to reconcile.

    You could be amused about your life. You could be fortified with the experience in your life. You can interpret your life story atypical and proudly claim: my life story is ekdam uncommon but I had the wits to have played it off to my enforced intervention. The challenge of the human game is how you explain yourself to you rather than how players in the same game speculate your moves.

    You have a stupendous wandering of surprise in front of you! Go, explore, meet up people, hear their life stories and one day banter them ..'looking back ..can you believe I feared so much about my life but I am glad that my life is distinguished from (the) hoi polloi because I have transformed and flourished because of it.' Good luck.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2019
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  8. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    We can always be friends PM me.
     
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  9. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh dear, as bleak as everything looks, i can tell you one thing for sure. You will be ok. You are a strong woman and dont let anyone take that away from you. I am around ur age, recently divorced from a non conssumated marriage of many many years. I understand how u feel. There are days when i hit lows and i am totally lost.. but we r surviving and still alive so there is still a reason for us to live for the dreams that we hope will come true.. recently someone i know thru work was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she has just a few months left.. unlike her, we have a chance to live, things will turn around.for us someday. He parents attitude might be disappointing but dont let it get u down. Best is to stay away from them, give them a chance to come to terms with this. Divorce is very hard for parents of that generation even if reasons are valid. Lastly there are many beaitiful thinhs in this world for u to see And experience, so much life has to offer, 33 is too early for u to throw hat into the ring.. don't give up, you will.be ok!
     
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  10. Happygirl6

    Happygirl6 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi

    I am also exactly in your situation . Only difference is I am 29 years old and i have parents support. I live in a country where i dont have family and friends. Even though i like making friends from the past 5 years i am struggling to cope up with one issue or other. In my case my husband asked me divorce right from the second day and i tried my level best to keep up with the marriage. He is a psycho and he abuses me for nothing, physically hurts me and asks me to leave. I understood after certain time that he has some psychological disorder. I came to know in recent generation people with mental illnesses are more and you need to be very careful before marrying someone. Anyways he has been forced into marriage and finally he has sent me the papers after 1 year of marriage.

    Life is complicated sometimes and we have to accept it and move on. As above people said, just make a life of your own. Dont compare with other in this situation which will be horrible. Be kind and gentle on yourself. If you cannot make yourself happy no body in this world can make you happy. Its been 5 months i am away from him and moved out of his place. I can say i am able to sleep at peace without the fear of some one constantly abusing me. I can eat whatever i like. If i dont like to cook i can buy outside. I can watch you tube,TV which i was not allowed to do when i was with him. Some times life can be all about you when people in your life cant make you happy.
     
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