1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Left Alone.. Feel My Life Has Come To An End.. Plz Help

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Star25, May 13, 2019.

Page 1 of 5
  1. May 13, 2019 #1
    Star25

    Star25 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    335
    Likes Received:
    476
    Trophy Points:
    130
    Gender:
    Female
    Friends,
    My marriage life is a disaster. To say in a nutshell I am second married and my first marriage ended up because of limited sex and intimacy and to add to it both families were not getting along well too..my second marriage is not consummated at all bcoz he is impotent.. Got married 3 yrs ago.. Now I'm at my parents house for the past 2 years and have no kids too..i am keeping myself occupied by going to a bpo job but I have been working as a lead before my second marriage, now because of the gap of 4 years in my IT field my career is also messed up. My parents don't care of my life anymore and my sister got recently married and conceived too. My life is not moving at all and I am passing each day with no support and care from my family.. Its as if I am left alone in the dark with no option to come out of this at all..i feel my life is over.. I am only 37 and I believe that I have at least 15 years to go ahead.. My husband is living abroad and he is asking me to go to court and file divorce.. I only came to India to take him to a Dr and get things solved but he ditched me here and his parents told me not to join him anymore and asked us to go to court and deal everything there. I left my belongings and came and even if I call him or his parents they are not picking up the call.. It's very hard for me to be in my parents house also, as neighbours are also asking why am here for so long and my parents are no way supporting me.. I couldn't even share my situation with my friends as it is my second marriage and it is failing badly... Please advise as to what I should be doing ...request you all to please share your suggestions .
     
    Star25, May 13, 2019
    Star25, May 13, 2019
    #1
    OneWay likes this.
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. Parry22

      Husband Left Me Alone In Midst Of Crowd....

      Parry22, Mar 16, 2019, in forum: Married Life
      Replies:
      6
      Views:
      2,880
      Rihana
      Mar 22, 2019
    2. Star25

      Left Alone In The Dark Not Knowing What To Do.. Pls Help

      Star25, Jan 12, 2019, in forum: Education & Personal Growth
      Replies:
      11
      Views:
      2,729
      sbonigala
      May 13, 2019
    3. GirlintheWorld

      Just want to be left alone

      GirlintheWorld, Jul 3, 2013, in forum: Relationship With In-Laws
      Replies:
      12
      Views:
      2,917
      GirlintheWorld
      Sep 10, 2013
  2. May 13, 2019 #2
    SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,011
    Likes Received:
    2,683
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    I am so sorry for what you are going through and feeling. No situation in life needs to be the end of the world, however tough it is. You will be fine , trust me. Focus on getting that work experience to be the lead again. You should move out to a different city and live independently. You don’t have to feel like a failure because you were married to the wrong people. Please take care.
     
    SinghManisha, May 13, 2019
    SinghManisha, May 13, 2019
    #2
    SKoundinya, Agathinai, Topaz49 and 2 others like this.
  3. May 13, 2019 #3
    DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,918
    Likes Received:
    4,003
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    What is the issue now with your dh and in laws. Why are they against you now after three years of marriage. Why is your family not supporting you. What is their version. Have you informed both families that you marriage is not consummated. You should.

    Do you want to continue in this marriage?

    Anyway, I agree with the suggestion above. As you have no one to support, try your best to gain experience and be financially independent . Try to be away from both sides of family. You can do it. Focus on your job. Be positive.
     
    DDream, May 13, 2019
    DDream, May 13, 2019
    #3
    Agathinai, Star25 and shravs3 like this.
  4. May 13, 2019 #4
    messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    915
    Likes Received:
    1,550
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi dear...I can understand that you are going with tough time.. This too will pass soon. Try to be more strong. People in general ask for explanation for each and every thing but its your choice to give them or not. You can maintain your privacy by not explaining them anything and they will stop asking for your inputs with time. Also don't run behind anything. Just do what makes you happy and keep your mind focussed on your work. Don't say no to any opportunity or love coming to your way. You just have one life to live and not to give explanation about. Learn to hold your emotions and be patient. Everything will be fine soon. Take care.
     
    messedup, May 13, 2019
    messedup, May 13, 2019
    #4
    Star25 and shravs3 like this.
  5. May 13, 2019 #5
    ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,174
    Likes Received:
    2,465
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Start applying for jobs in other cities, I see many women living in PG’s n working n having a life of their own. So even with limited income you can lead a life on your own.

    Don’t spoil more years of your life thinking it’s 2nd marriage, it’s not your fault that he’s impotent. Look forward to start a new life as it’s still not too late. Focus on your career n financial stability.

    Get out of all the negativity n negative surroundings n start over on your terms. It may carve the path for a better future.
     
    ashneys, May 13, 2019
    ashneys, May 13, 2019
    #5
    CoolPie, Agathinai, Vaikuntha and 1 other person like this.
  6. May 13, 2019 #6
    nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    2,518
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    99% of your worries would end once you stop caring about 'what would others think/say'.

    It is not the mountains ahead of us which wear us down. It is often the grain of sand in our shoe.

    -

    Some practical tips:

    Grin and bear with any criticism: this is with those who are close, whom you can't afford to antagonize. There would be advises and suggestions, but these are predominantly from people who put themselves in your foot and try to live their life, so it wouldn't suit you; it only adds to your existing self-doubts.

    Know that strong people aren't born that way, they are strong because they chose to stand for themselves than giving into pressure. Stop worrying about future; just focus on the present and deal with the daily problems. The future is always a question mark, even for those who are at peak happiness in the current moment.
     
    nemesis, May 13, 2019
    nemesis, May 13, 2019
    #6
    yellowmango, Agathinai, shravs3 and 5 others like this.
  7. May 13, 2019 #7
    senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    413
    Likes Received:
    739
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Dont worry dear. There is so much life ahead for you, marriage is not the end of all.

    Get a good job, move into ladies hostel. file mutual divorce and come out of this bad marriage.
    Make some single friends, travel and enjoy.
    then start looking a partner and create a family.

    Sometimes our families and friends dont support us fearing the society but the only person that can support you is YOU. YOU are your biggest support system.

    Dont be scared or worried or stress. So many women do this everyday, you are not alone. I did this in USA without any friends or family near me. If I can do it you can do it.

    Goodluck.
     
    senorita2019, May 13, 2019
    senorita2019, May 13, 2019
    #7
    lakshmi888, SKoundinya, Agathinai and 4 others like this.
  8. May 13, 2019 #8
    Star25

    Star25 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    335
    Likes Received:
    476
    Trophy Points:
    130
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank u Manisha..feels soothing to hear.. Even few words of consolation from friends when we are going thru at bad times seems like healing a wound. Believe me your kind words mean a lot to me in this situation of mine since i just need someone to at least give a pat on my back and say u will be fine.thank u dear so much
     
    Star25, May 13, 2019
    Star25, May 13, 2019
    #8
  9. May 14, 2019 #9
    Star25

    Star25 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    335
    Likes Received:
    476
    Trophy Points:
    130
    Gender:
    Female
    It's from the beginning of the marriage itself my husband was so away from me , he wasnt behaving wasn't like other normal men, when I questioned if he's not interested in sex he would say that his mind is still unable to come out of his first marriage that was 8 years back ,as he is also divorced. Then I asked him then why he married me for which he would reply it will all be fine.. So I trusted his words as I too can't fight as this is my second marriage and by fighting it will only make things worse.. Everytime I ask him he will divert my mind and take me out and somehow he made sure I don't question hom on this..i waited and waited and thrn after around a year I understood hes totally bluffing and I have been cheated.. Then after lot of convincing I took him to a doc which he was very reluctant to come and then they told he has serious psychological disorders then again I brought him to India and got him diagnosed they said he has to undergo surgery.. And once he left back again abroad when it was decided that I would return back after a week since I wanted to spend time here for shopping.. Then he went and told his parents s completely different story that I had problems n all.. I know very well that his parents know his defect bcoz of which he was put on s criminal case which I came to know only after marriage.. And both families know that my marriage is not consummated I left all my things wen I came to in India to have him checked. My parents want to be at peace. They got my sister married and my mom won't even talk anything to me.. It's as of I became invisible to my entire family..i feel as if am trapped in a deadlock situation or fell into a pit where no can hear me scream even if I call them or even if I call out for help.. It's just that am scared how to spend the rest of my life because this loneliness is killing me... I am scared of men really the guys who came in my life have devastated my life.. So not thinking to go for another marriage for sure..
     
    Star25, May 14, 2019
    Star25, May 14, 2019
    #9
    CoolPie and DDream like this.
  10. May 14, 2019 #10
    Star25

    Star25 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    335
    Likes Received:
    476
    Trophy Points:
    130
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank u so much dear... Yes what all you have said is very practical..i want to be tat way only but sometimes I get the feel that what am I going to do 10 years down the line when I won't have ppl to support me when I don't have them now itself.. That makes me scared.. And I think to myself should I do something now for that so that I don't repent later.. But then I Don have any solution for it now also.. This keeps circling around in my mind over and over. All I need is just love from friends or just the feeling that people are there to care for me.. I Don expect this from my family.. I'm really feeling so good when u all reply since I feel there are people for me :kissingheart::hearteyes:
     
    Star25, May 14, 2019
    Star25, May 14, 2019
    #10
Page 1 of 5

Share This Page