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language !

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by cutemonster, Feb 20, 2012.

  1. cutemonster

    cutemonster Platinum IL'ite

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    hi all !
    this thread is for all those who married in family which spoke a language different than their native language . like say Punjabi and Bengali or Tamil and Gujarati or any such marriage !
    i would like to know how u managed with ur in laws ?
    what language do u speak at home , ur husband's native language or some neutral language like English and Hindi ?
    what did ur kids learn ? just their father's language or even his mother's native language ?
    what all efforts did u make and difficulties u faced ?
    would love to hear from u all !
     
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  2. umaakumar

    umaakumar Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Cute,

    I am a Tamilian married to a Malayalee. Me and my DH always speak in English or Tamil. So there has been no problem between us. My daughter too does not speak Malayalam as there was no one to speak to her in this language. I never met my in laws for almost 16 years after getting married. So after this when I did meet them there was no requirement for me to learn a new language, just to communicate with them. Also we speak in English most of the time. When we go to some social gathering, everyone speaks malayalam, but most of it i understand/misunderstand. It is sometimes very funny.

    Regards,
    Uma
     
  3. djain

    djain Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey,
    not my personal experience but knw one similar case of one of my best frnds..
    she is Sindhi & married to Maharastrian so she had to learn Marathi so as to undestand the conversation her in laws would have with her as well as with their relatives so that she would not feel like left out & would be reminded of her luv mrg everytime.. :D

    I remember, before her mrg only she started learning basic words & sentenaces from her hubby & thru internet, she also bought some basic learning books also in Marathi...

    I knw by her mrg time she was atleast able to talk to some basic sentences/words in Marathi which was vey well appreciaated by her in-laws & thr relatives & she also got motivation by thm to learn more abt it...

    & believe me whn ppl see u putting some effort in one direction, thy also start helping you rather than feeling you odd one out. :)

    with luv,
    Dharini
     
  4. cutemonster

    cutemonster Platinum IL'ite

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    wow thats nice ! but aren't tamil n malyalam bit similar ? forgive me but i dont know both :)
     
  5. cutemonster

    cutemonster Platinum IL'ite

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    hi djain !


    yeah thats right , but dont u think it is mostly women who make the effort to show that they have adapted to the inlwas family by learning their language , what about the guy should he also not make a effort to learn girl's language to communicate with his in laws ?
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2012
  6. Preet82

    Preet82 Silver IL'ite

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    I am a kannadiga married to a tamilian.Our case is different because my DH's family has been settled in Karnataka for over 40 years (when my in-laws were very young) so they speak Kannada fluently.My husband can read and write kannada better than me.only my in-laws converse in tamil amongst themselves and their kids.my DH and his sister converse in kannada only.We (me and DH) speak in English and Kannada and our little daughter speaks English and can understand some kannada too.
    My in-laws don't mind that i dont speak tamil but some of their relatives can talk only tamil and talk to me in Tamil.I can understand and manage to talk few sentences.I do make an effort to learn more but since i am abroad most of the time i don't a chance.
     
  7. cutemonster

    cutemonster Platinum IL'ite

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    hi preet 82
    good to know that ur inlaws r nice n dont mind that u dont speak tamil :) so in ur case language has not been much problem !
     
  8. papoosh

    papoosh Bronze IL'ite

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    In my case, I am part tamil and part telugu brought up mostly in Kolkata, married to a part malayali and part kannadiga ..so when it came to language, we chose the safe route and went with English and Hindi. At home, my husband and I speak to each other in English/Hindi/Tamil and he throws in a Bengali word or two at times :). I for my part, have become pretty fluent in Kannada so my father-in-law who lives with us and I communicate in English/Kannada and sometimes rarely in Tamil. I am trying to learn a little bit of Malayalam too. No kids yet...so we haven't had to think about that yet..though I shudder to think of all the languages we would like to pass on to them :-O
     
  9. OCdesigirl

    OCdesigirl Gold IL'ite

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    I am a punjabi who was born in usa, married to a kannada guy we speak a little of 3 languages at home, hindi, english, and his language, kannada. My inlaws speak those three languages also I love to learn new languages so I am attempting to learn kannada. If a person wants to communicate with their inlaws they will find a way. I am very lucky that my inlaws have cared enough to teach me.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2012
  10. vidhu63

    vidhu63 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,



    After reading I have mixture of feelings. I have to go now, will get back.
     

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