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Lack Of Connection

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by overthinker, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    :BangHead:

    Hairstyle, dressing style and makeup, good luck to you both OP. Why do I get the feeling that you will be back very soon in IL?
     
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  2. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    If the chosen girl is your colleague, you made the better choice in my opinion.
     
  3. overthinker

    overthinker New IL'ite

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    Come on! I am not going to make a life changing decision based on something superficial like just looks (which can always change) I definitely looked into one other important factor as well (her amazing paneer butter masala making skills). That really what sealed the deal!

    As on now. I have spent like around 4 to 6 hours per day every day with her after work for the past few weeks. From like evening to the middle of the night. The crazy thing is that I feel at "home" when I am with her. My mind is peaceful. We were able discuss everything. She is totally crazy about me. She is hopelessly devoted and in love with me. After a couple of hours she is like, "I have to go home. Need to get up early for work." But I made her stay and spend hours with me. I am very fond of her. She has a very infectious laugh which I like. She is a really good person with a big heart. We both get on well with each other. I enjoy spending time with her a lot. However there is one problem which I will mention at the bottom of this post.

    She still has her glasses on. I keep taking them off whenever we meet. She is even more pretty. I think my interest will increase with time.

    Hey. I am already back. I won't create new threads. Will just continue this one.

    Okay my biggest problem with Girl#2 or G2 for short is this.

    She is everything I always wanted. She ticks off every single box in what I was looking for. We have a good connection and we enjoy each other's company. The problem is that I am not head over heels in love with her. I told her that I don't love her in a crazy way but that I enjoy her company a lot and enjoy doing things with her and to her :smilingimp: I am attracted to her physically but she loves me more. She is just blind and deaf to everything. Keeps saying my actions tell her otherwise.

    Ideally both would be crazy over each other. But right now I feel very content and satisfied with her but not in an over the top fashion.

    Anyways, I don't think there is any going back from now. I don't know what the future holds.
     
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  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    poori masala sealed the deal for me:banana::banana:
     
  5. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    Are you expecting a filmy kind of love to happen. Don't understand what exactly you are looking for.
     
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  6. Emarald

    Emarald Silver IL'ite

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    From which restaurant?

    Jokes apart , don't think too much and listen to your instincts. See compatibility in education, hobbies, basic thinking, future plans, culture etc. Good luck to you in your partner searching.
     
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2017
  7. RiyaB

    RiyaB Silver IL'ite

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    What she is experiencing is plain infatuation & for you its passion.

    If I were you I would have taken a step back & re evaluated the entire situation. An overdose of passion & infatuation do tend to cloud our judgement. I think you made the relationship exclusive too soon.

    Marriage is a lifelong partnership....you require patience, respect and understanding to stay the course. Passions will ebb and flow, looks will change and maybe fade with time, try to look for the real person inside...is she kind , compassionate, is she the type who will stand by you thru adversity, will she take care of your aged parents if the need arises...in short will she be your rock.

    I don't think it will be a bad idea if you left this drift for a while...see how she reacts and if both of you still feel the same way after that then go ahead
     
  8. RiyaB

    RiyaB Silver IL'ite

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    :clapclap::clapclap:
     
  9. samsWait

    samsWait Silver IL'ite

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    Before marriage courtship period no butterflies in stomach.
    During marriage floored by his look and voice but still did not feel like a soulmate type connection or head over heels. He is very handsome and I am very average. But still.
    First year felt content but no head over heels love.
    Second year had some difference of opinions so no head over heels love.
    Third year head over heels love. Love his laugh eyes hair everything.
    Moral of the story in arranged marriage it's ok if you not fall head over heels. If both parties are reasonable it will happen over the years
     

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