Kitchen Nostalgia

manasakpt · Mar 13, 2009

All women (atleast Indian women) are destined to leave the place which treated them 'delicate darlings' :queen someday.
You got it right...I'm exactly talking about leaving to live away from the caring mama and papa to set one's own world. Be it for career or for a pleasant married life, you ought to move away sometime in today's global settings. And wherever you may go, something keeps ringing in the inside..."Nothing feels like being at home".
As for me, this phrase keeps coming up very often, and especially in the kitchen where I spend most of my time after work.
Though I miss being at home, I never cried because I knew I'm away for good. But, I want to share with you this incident which put me to tears.
"20th Feb 2009, Tokyo; It is a friday and this means the weekend has set in. Friday morning is more enthusiastic than Monday mornings because you work thinking of the weekend ahead . But today, I am much more happy because we have a lab party this evening....meaning I'm off work earlier than usual. There's something bad about a lab party too....because a dinner party meant its time for indefinite boozing and less of eating in Japan and, to me, a non-alcoholic, it meant nothing but spending dinner time with friends and starving till late night (I cooked my food the afternoon so that I can eat when I'm back...its just rice with yoghurt). We set off at 7pm for the izakaya (japanese style pub) and the party goes on till its 11pm. People keep drinking and drinking (while I keep watching and chatting). I dont get to eat much(how much of raw fish can you manage to take in? shakehead)Totally drawn of energy, we set out of the izakaya only to land up at the karaoke corner (Japanese enjoy singing and drinking together). I could still hear my stomach growling in the inside
I spend an hour with them and then set off bidding "oyasumi(good night)" because I have friends coming over the next day for lunch(you know Indian cooking needs 24hrs of preparation time...soaking, marinating) and also my stomach growled louder.
I go home....but the week's mess and the next day's lunch asks for cleaning before I could eat something.
Somehow done with the cleaning, I turn to see the clock striking 2pm
Time to definitely eat..when I realise that the rice had not been stored on my hot pot and left inside the pressure cooker. It has gone dry on the top.
I pick the cold yoghurt from the refrigerator and mix it with the dry and grainy rice. Pickle accompanies. As I start to eat, flashback rolls; plates all ready on the dining waiting my arrival, mama storing food in hotpacks thoughtfully for me when I'll be arriving late, papa waiting to eat along with me (I cant eat alone) and chips fried and stored in ziplocks to stay crispy.
As these scenes roll in my mind, as my eyes brim with tears and overflow. Whenever the dry grainy rice and the cold yoghurt hurts my hands while I eat, it gets even more severe and chokes. I keep eating till my stomach stops growling; wash my plate (I never did this at home) with tears still running down. Its already 2.30am and I should be up by atleast 8am to welcome friends with a whole lunch course ready by 12 noon.
I go to bed with tears still rolling......Never knowing when they'd stop."

I guess this is not the case with just me...may be many of you should have encountered with onesuch incident. Sometimes the aroma of a dish, the techniques mama used while cooking, the thought of "hot pakoras" on rainy evenings.....sure makes you feels nostalgic; when you can call it "Kitchen Nostalgia"!!

S Priya · Mar 13, 2009

Hi Manas,

Moms make food with more love that is the technique used by them, with what every masalas, I feel so bad for u, u reminded me of my mom, i too miss her, when i am not at my mom home. Eat healthy and take care.

manasakpt · Mar 13, 2009

@Priya
mom's have always been 'super moms'. They were able to keep things running right and scheduled; thoughtful about each and every requirement of ours even when there were no online shopping, no maids and no magic gadgets.
Miss and love her!!

sangvidu · Mar 13, 2009

Yes manasa, I too had a similar experience, I was away for a few years abroad when I was staying alone in a house where I had to cooking. I had joined for study classes after work and by the time I returned it would be 11 + at night almost every day.I used to start cooking after that and most of the times it would be rasam, rice and chips and I also became emotional sometime remembering the times when I use to eat hot home cooked food at home.. It was a treat for me when my parents came and stayed with me for a month.!! After that, my mom fell ill and she passed away in a few months time..So I really cherish the times when she came abroad and bought so many utensils etc and cooked so many fav dishes of mine..
cheers
vidhya

manasakpt · Mar 13, 2009

@vidya
i just returned from a vacation trip from home a month ago....so now i'm even more nostalgic after having had only favs on my plate for over 3 weeks

SeethaHari · Mar 13, 2009

Dear Manasa,

Initially when I had to adjust to the new surroundings, people and climate, the first one on my mind was my mother. I too miss her a lot.
But now when having lunch, I talk to friends on phone or chat with my mother and dinner is always with my husband. That's a relief.
This phase of life is very difficult and nothing can console us when our thoughts reel back to memories.
There is a theory in psychology it's called transactional analysis which says, when we feel lonely, adjusting to new people, our subconscious relates every moment to the past when we were happy and we start to associate ourselves with it. This is our craving to be with mom, dad who have been on our side on every occasion.
We all experience it and start talking about good times we had.
Even today I talk about my discussions i had with my father about books and all the words still ring fresh in , though he passed away 9 years back.
It is our love for them and though physically we are not near we associate everything to them.

I have started to imitate my mother in cooking ( though not as good as her ) but that way I feel my mother is near me. I cook all the dishes she prepares and sometimes a hit sometimes a flop. But want to see more of my mother in me and I tell her all these experiences . That makes me happy.

Take care and may be next time you go to a party , eat and attend it dear

Best wishes,
SeethaHari

swethakalyanee · Mar 13, 2009

Hi Manasa,

Nice post.
Mom's food is irrestible and irreplaceable.
Most often, we miss our moms only when we're away from her / when we become moms.

After 2.5 years of marriage, I still phone her up to clarify my doubts in cooking and also constantly ask for cooking tips.. .

As still im still learning to cook, almost every new dish i prepare goes awry and I understand the hardship in making a tasteful dish.

I also cry secretly regretting those mocking comments on the dishes she used to prepare while I was young

mssunitha2001 · Mar 14, 2009

True manasa.........we miss our parents and their love and care when we are far away.....

we just did not have time to appreciate all their love and their efforts to make our lives go smooth when we are with them....

we feel all the more so when we get married.....more so after we start looking after our kids.......with the same love and affection.....

All the sacrifices our parents have gone through for us..........looms large in front of our hearts only then......!!!!!!!

good blog .......................keep it up :thumbsup

-sunitha