Hi , I have shared my post long ago here like me being the eldest at home , we are 4 sibling 3 girls and a boy. we belong to upper middle class family from the metro city india .we are brought up in a very traditional approach like love marriage is a sin and parents will never accept it and fear of society having good respected family in the society like a brand. all good until we finished our degrees and got placed in top MNC in india . pressure for my parents started , when they had to start searching alliances for me as were two girls following me. so if i got married late, their marriages would be late too . and then father passed away and had the pressure to get my marriage in a year. alliance found and got married. later found that boy education what he said was wrong ( actual education: second education ) . my mother basically very silent and working hard ( although we live in city and richer than boy( he had no assets then ) my husband and his family all planned took advantage of situation and when we got to know that later I was shocked again , now married whether you like it or not u have to live in.. I have started earning coming to different country , where i didnt know about his job also ( neither my single mom asked not i didnt ask because girls should never question boys) my husband is such manipulative guy ( my upbringing is very different and found it very difficult to adjust ,I became mad sometimes looking at this manipulations and his family demanding) fast forward now he lives on his own , for the name sake we both are staying in home and have a kid too. all my daughter expenses and my expenses I take care... some time he supports for paying her enrichment classes. he likes my daughter and take good care of her. he cooks my fav food and If i ask him take my daughter outdoor like other father in our apartment , he never does... now I feel like I am cheated and dont trust him and he is so manipulative .. he says in relationship money is not a priority and also trust . anyway I feel like divorcing him.. like any other girl I was expecting min trust from so called husband. how long I can live on ... to top that , got the pressure of younger sister marriage... again single mom we didnt dare to ask details about boy , we asked far relatives and got the feedback that he is good. got married.. My sister is not that wise to identify the guys characteristics.its very difficult to know about a guy poersonality from one meet so cant blame my mother and family members while I stay abroad. my sister was going with the boy during courtship and she says he behaved very normal. post marriage we realized when we went for a trip he is normal guy. he behaves very differently. we girls are very talented and respectable in the society . our neighbors and family see as role models. my sister is so beautiful and very successful in career and talented. we felt very betrayed and again cheated ... this guy card is with his parents. he channels according to his parents. because he has brought up like that. he cant talk in public his parents talk on behalf of him.. she is been crying since then . we too. then we got to know they married because of money and property that we give and her salary . he starts sending message just before the salary day to give him the part of the salary as they all stay together with his younger brother.. ( they had a fight with my sister to give her part of the salary just after marriage) till now they both as a couple never went to any place as a day out . ( because he is like that I think) and then she got baby boy(1+ year now) and went from my home to their home 6 months ago.. now have a kid at home his parents taking care while they go to work. so they started demanding her full salary otherwise send her out of home.. then she came to my home.. then their family and we complained police. now going on .. sister says i dont to them. i want to live separability with him dont want to live with his parents. they dont want to leave him.. should we blame our fate or unfortuante circumstances , should we blame our bad decisions taken, should we blame our bringing up ( saying girls should study well and stand on their own and then marry , should never question boys and choose the boy according parents choice), should we blame our poor knowledge about the society and not being updated .. I am seeing my husband and his family , they are middle class and none of the kids are educated all secondary graduation completed, they know how to lead a life and they very wise and collectively take decision. if they do bad they collectively do bad.. and supporting each other.. our upbringing is such that my parents always thought of doing good to anybody.. finding it very difficult to adjust of cheating people around.. I wonder how people sugar coat ( market them selves and their son) and lure the girls and family in the name of arranged marriage .