Just vent - 'why me?'

Anamika

I don't have the answer, but just wanted to let you know that I have also asked similar questions to myself. I guess we all go through a rough phase some times and life will get better. Take a break from your work/ take vacation and go to India. I hope life will get better for you soon!

Take care

 

at some point of time everybody has those questions ...but you seem to be asking them a lot... there is not right or wrong answer for that, but all i can say is that there will come a time when you wont be questioning any more. you have to wait for that time. It is really hard when you are feeling low but then try and involve with your son and and make peace with the situation and dont worry too much. Whatever anyone says it might not be comforting to you in your current situation but I want tot say be strong and everything will be okay... maybe not as soon as you want it but everything will be okay eventually and you will find a way out

 

Hi Anamika,
For a working mother, it's hard to balance work and family and looking after herself. Having to put up with Il's tantrums makes it even harder.
Losing weight needs a lot of commitment and with all your other problems, I don't think you can make that commitment so plan to lose weight at a later time. Also, there are as many overweight people as there are slim and attractive. So, you are not alone. Picture yourself to be slim and promise yourself that you will do it one day. Regarding your job, again if your happy with your work, your work environment and feel that you are well settled in your workplace, ignore everything else. It's not easy to find work and workplace that you like. If you have problems other than lack of growth, than you should look for another may be less demanding job. That way you be able to look after yourself better. About your son- yes, it's difficult with all the health issues, but eventually he will grow out of them. Keep consulting the doctors. That's all you can do. About ILs- enough said already.

 

Every house has its share of problems. It is just that you do not see.If it is inlaws not coming it would be something else .Trust me when I say this.Like Facebook , what we see is not.we project a prettier picture sometimes.Or it could be even that not to burden others with our problems in a positive sense.

Having said that, It is not that I dont feel like that, I have been tested in the recent years ,and have been asked myself these questions , As you say that u have not hurt anyone in anyway, I have also those thoughts now and then cropping up. I get into it deeper thinking about karma and rebirth , but somehow I'm like a cat on the wall. Jump here sometimes and jump there other times.I guess we are made to be that.When I was in dire sadness , although I knew there were much worse problems , I had a terrible miscarriage and I read that a woman killed her own child .Life is not fair and square to everyone. But I guess it is in the lesson we learn and use it in future during such times.
Some things are in our control, weight loss one for instance. You can hire a trainer will surely and seriously help .But there are things which are not in our control , and we as humans want to be in control of our lives. Don't we?

Change all that you can , for those you cannot just go with the flow.
I hope you feel better.

 

Instead of asking "Why me"..try to ask,"Why not me".!when everything seems perfect around us,we never complaint! When we get whatever we want,we never complaint..when our life dance according to our tune,we never complaint..dear,i do understand your situation.even I was like you before..use to ask this question to myself.why need to go through so much.but at one point of time,i realized everything happens for its own good.Take it as blessing in disguise.Just see the positive parts and ignore the negative one.You are such a strong lady.keep going.

 

Anamika,

Been there, tackling a lot of issues and still doing it..and there are issues that may look so big to me at a point, and i tell myself, comeon S, look at x,y,z they are doing better inspite of all the issues, and i feel i have been blessed. and i also look at all the whats and blessings..

I remember reading a book long back, forgot the author , that the moment we start asking why me, we are like a hamster running on its pet wheel..the first why me, will lead to another and sometimes to an answer and the answer will again lead to another why me.. the best way is to talk, or just write it away somewhere to be torn or read later to see how far we have come..

break the chain of thoughts on the why me and focus on what next, or why not me?? I always believe that I am tested more and more because SHE knows how much i can endure..so there are days i tell HER (GOD) that ok "have all the fun, i am sure you know what you are doing even when i am not clear"

you know you are half way to moving forward, as you are aware of all the issues, the patterns and now you have more time to work on the issues rather than the why me?? see today you feel better than the last 12 years, either you have learnt to ignore or you have become stronger ...:thumbsup

So vent and switch off the topic and do not go through the cycle like the hamster..

you need all the energy to be positive and be there for yourself and your kiddo..

 

Everyone has problems, some people have less problems and some have more problems, but trust me we all have problems (if that makes you feel better). Don't think do much about the problems....what you need is a good planning/time-table for your chores and office work.

Fix your time for every job and follow it.....
Don't do unnecessary work.
Stop cooking 2 times a day come what may. If your in-laws complain, talk to them and try explaining them politely and if they still throw tantrums, ignore them.

Aim for a certification exam and concentrate at work. People with good communication skills shine at work. Work on that. Improve your interpersonal/people skills. Think what else you can do.

I am going to suggest a very nice way of losing weight- Play tennis with your son. I do that often with my 5 year old and it is amazing! That way your son will become good at the game, he will use his surplus energy and you will lose weight. I sense from your post that you are little depressed. There are 3 ways to lessen depression-Therapy, medication and exercise. DON'T include house chores and running after your kid as exercise. You need to do real exercise like jog, run, play, anything will do. You will feel good about yourself.

Don't ask "why me" and don't wallow in self-pity. Buckle up and take measures to be the person you want to be. All the best!

--Bubai

 

Same feelings