Just A Vent

Glad it helped. Sometimes such things pour into a life all at once. An old song goes ..."into each life some rain must fall; but too much falling in mine"

 

Glad you feel good after venting out. You are a strong person and an awesome mom from what I can perceive through your post. Do what will make you feel good.

You and daughter will have a great bonding and she will look upto you as a role model on how a woman should be

 

Hi @shwetapj
I have been there...I too had a c section.
I too got infected after 1 month of surgery that too I found out, constant pain in stomach. Got the stiches removed without local anesthesia!!! But my mom was there to help me out.
Don't worry about friends whose kids sleep eat on time, I tell you they lie.
One of my neighbors said her daughter never makes home messy, but one time I saw her home was messier than a market.
Pls stop the visitors, I couldn't do as I was staying at my parents place post delivery.
So had no say in visitors.
You can stop visitors tell baby sleeping, or had shots. You aren't well.
I can understand being new mom without help is tough. But you did all these 10 months, just 2-3 months... Once baby turns 1, you will feel lil relaxed.
My kid too never took day nap after 7 months... Everyone from the cleaning lady mils far relatives would ask why your mom not putting baby to sleep. What the heck, baby not getting sleep isn't my mom's problem. I was working then, left 5 month old with my parents.
I faced sooO much, on top mil never lifted a finger for my baby, but so much tantrums she would throw.
I'm not able to forget...
So cut down visitors, buy food outside.
Go for a walk with baby 10 min.
You are fine

 

Sorry to hear about your traumatic experience, glad you are able to bond with the little one ! Each baby is different , so don't be influenced or hurt by others experiences. Enjoy motherhood !

 

Dear Shweta, I am glad that both you and your baby are well now. Yes, venting can be cathartic, and what better place to do it?

However, even at the risk being one of those men who favor problem-solving over 'empathy', I am concerned about the following statements:

Your mother and mother-in-law may have been unhelpful, but medical negligence is way more dangerous, especially when drug resistant agents are involved. Hospital infections occur more frequently than they should, due to lax preventive measures.

I have no idea what this means. Do talk to a competent physician and review your conversations and the diagnoses and options offered when you were ill. An injection is a way of delivering drugs. It is the actual pharmaceutical agent being injected (or delivered in other ways) that matters. You probably got some sort of antibiotic.

I don't understand this. What could the motivation possibly be? In any case, please avoid this hospital. If true, this is beyond negligence; it ought to anger you more. Even if your parents/relatives did not help you, you would have done fine in the case of an uncomplicated pregnancy. Medical charlatans can kill you no matter what.

Now that you are a mother, first educate yourself about medical issues. Have someone more knowledgeable accompany you to consultations, take good notes, and keep a record of medications. Medicine has become big business. It is up to us to take steps to ensure that our interactions with the medical system do not damage our health. Don't forget that the ultimate responsibility for your health and that of your daughter lies with you!

 

Dear shweta..

you are such a strong and loving mom. You have already started reaping the benefits of the pain you endured throughout! Your baby being clingy towards you..Research says, that is one of the direct ways by which a baby shows her affection towards her mom..
Even yesterday, one lady at my workplace told, " your baby is becoming a shaitani". Though I hated it I smiled & said no no..she is a good girl.. and ignored her completely..Why on earth do everyone want to put others children down even at this tender age? When your friend says that his children are angels just smile and dont say anything..But if he dares to say anything negative about your baby dont give him room to put you down..We know how sweet, lovely our babies are..we dont need testimony from anybody..
Take care of your health and watch on the medicines you are taking..
Though my situation is not exactly like yours, I am a working mom of a 15 months old and me and H had to manage all alone with no help from mom and MIL..Though I feel bad most of the times, I hold on to the merit of raising my child on my own..What she has to eat, what she has to wear, where she has to go etc are all our decision now with no interference from our extended families..
Also give the baby to H and take an hour off everyday to rejuvenate yourself..I wont suggest exercise, walk etc as I myself dont have any time for doing the same..So dont be hard on yourself..Do what you can and definitely things will fall in place..

Be it the most crazy day draining out all my energy, our group hug sessions before sleep de stress me completely...My small little world...

 

Yes, the bonding starts slowly.. And don't worry, my mil was too excited, but did everything she could to make things difficult for me during pregnancy as well as after delivery. It would have been better if she had not been bothered.

 

u r a good mom. you have a lot of time to bond now