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Joint Family

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Caide, Sep 12, 2016.

  1. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    I like joint family a lot :) though i have no experience in it nor have any idea of how people live... I just like the way the whole family is filled with not just one generation but more than one... lots of cousins.. and all time its filled with at least 2 or 3 persons :) Particularly i love the Farmer's family :) though they fight... at the time of sowing seeds or reaping the crop they come together either forgetting the past or just to help.. and end up talking with each other :) Either getting equal share from the profit or for the work they have down :)

    When Two of my colleagues said that they are living as a joint family.... i was very glad to hear that... but she said she is living with her in-laws and he said he is staying with his parents... I wondered how i controlled myself from changing my expression.... nowadays joint family is consider staying with in laws.

    Lots have changed to earn for kids to earn for our own family we are staying away from our family(including me).... i dont know whether its because of financial inclusion or because of something else... but i miss the old golden days when me with my parents and neighbours decorated the streets with rangoli and celebrated every function with family and marriages... oh what a crowd... it fills the house.. All relatives under one roof playing night long and full of gupshup corner ....

    But now in my hostel can pick hand full of persons who i know or talk.... because all are busy and tired from 9 hrs work followed by travel and have time only to do daily work and take rest... Neither expecting to talk with each other nor wondering whether to start a conversation ....

    Thanks to IL i am having great time during office hours :D

    Still joint family... i wonder what next generation will think about it.. as we ourselves are running full with works... hope at least they find sometime ...
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2016
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  2. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Caide,
    Yes, for the blessed ones joint family is a real boon. But for some people, destiny has a different view and we adjust accordingly. Not all have fairy tale lives I believe. Yes, in stories, the hero and heroine are really portrayed that way, because none likes to see the reality of life. Otherwise people would be talking a lot about documentaries, which shows reality. Where we talk about movies, a thing which does not happen in real life of people.
    But I know some friends who have really good in laws and happy married life. I understand your view point that the joint parents family concept does not take into account the girl's side parents. But I will tell you, that with time the husband usually accepts this opinion and does support both sides. But for that to occur spontaneously would be difficult, I think probably culture plays a role here.
    Nice thread.
    Vaidehi

    Tagging @iyerviji
    Mami, I remember one of your thread on similar lines, hope you can give your views.
    Thanks.
     
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  3. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    yeah but i think that if we have followed joint family culture i think there might have been a situation where we are all might be ready to accept like how we are accepting new culture new dressing new mobile all kind of stuff because which ever we think is new culture has been done and eradicated in old generation and its like its reborn
     
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  4. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, i agree. But sometimes it is just migration of people. I had not lived in joint family except for a short time. But I wouldn't give a rosy picture to you and say a lie. No, it was something I want to forget.

    Ok, but in this age, lots of Indians have left their country and migrated elsewhere and the rules in different countries vary and even if they wish to be with their parents can't do so for basically other reasons. But nonetheless some would have so got used to live in a nuclear set up and the adjusting capacity would have come down. We really can't blame them. If they have real likings then it should be fine and then they try to sort it out.

    But if they are all in India and then can't live joint family, it is possible, that some issues of adjustment as we see in relationship forums occur. In fact I think, as long as anyone is able to live a peaceful life, even if nuclear but having a cordial relationship with both sides of the family, then it would be fine. If living in a happy joint family then as you told it is a boon and bliss.

    So lots of variables here. But I wish you get what you wished for.
    Take care.
     
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  5. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    yes lots of variable but in villages people remain same at least they live as neighbour that is also not a case here in city we are even unaware of our neighbours yeah as you said joint family has lots of prob but this same culture was in old days also but i think the thoughts were diff in those days and friendship relationship was given importance too i think
     
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  6. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

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    That is a fact and truth as well. But whereas nowadays people are flocking to the metropolitan cities and I think that as a consequence we are making cities with little facilities to deal with such an explosion of migration. I am not sure of villages, but the fact that major cities are burgeoning and the recent floods of Chennai shows that it is a real issue. Oops sorry for digression.

    Ok, but I agree that we lag the friendships and don't know who our neighbours are. It is a phenomenon which is quite new to our country. Seems we are definitely lagging behind in such important social skills.

    Glad you started a thread on this issue!
     
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  7. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    yeah but whats use in migration i doubt as people are even ready to build places above volcanoes and all stuff.. and building it so fast without even aware of quality or strength of building... yeah flood is good example here lots had no places to stay and not all were ready to help only certain politicians actors NGO's were there and as for as theft ahh seriously when japan and china were hit by flood and tsunami nothing got lost.... though there is no friendship there was courtesy.... yeah social skills is so lagging nowadays
     
  8. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, I read about that, how people can ever do such things, in times of distress. no idea.
    But I also read about how even strangers helped others, so not everything is lost, I believe. There is still people who are helpful to others, that what makes life moving along. Not all are bad, we just have analyse the people and then we would be able find. Just a matter of luck whether we are able to find the one with similar wavelength, once that happens, I am sure we would be better. Nowadays we are busy with work etc, no time at all for other issues.
     
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  9. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    as you said since no time for all it might also include family right i think this was also one of reason for Joint family issue even couples find it difficult to spend time together and end up in divorce nowadays
     
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  10. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

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    Agreed, that joint families are really good! :)
    But for lots it's a dream which never becomes true!:worried:
    For the fortunate ones, their dreams are fulfilled.:D
     
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