Iwd 2017

A video with a hashtag #happywhatever criticizing the women's day activities, celebrations and commemorations as if they are mere talking only, is becoming viral these days. Hope you all would have viewed it in your social media page already.

This made me think for a while about all these initiatives and celebrations on this special day. Not just women's day, but all the days that we commemorate for a special cause.

In fact, my social media pages such as whatsapp and FB are flooded with women's day wishes since yesterday. Some are general, and some are customized to make me believe that I am one of the successful woman in someone's eyes. Which of course made my day. I too wished others, and felt special yesterday because of the flowers and chocolates I received at my office from the male colleagues.
We too have printed T-shirts, banners quoting attractive slogans, and had a small walk in our street to attract public attention to commemorate this day.
But what are these for?

Are we really making any changes by doing all these? Has any of these wide spread awareness and commemoration reached out to the women, who really need them?

The streets are still unsafe, the glass ceilings remain rock solid, and still someone else get to decide what we should wear, and how and when we should participate in the decisions which matter to us?
Who are these others to give us freedom and rights?
Why are we begging, fighting, and arguing about our rights with our co-citizens, as if we are some second citizens?

During the women's day speech, one of our parliamentarian said, women comprise 56% of the country's population in Sri Lanka (I hope India is not much different), and they are the rulers in each household as moms, wives, and DDs, then why are they feeling any lesser than men? In fact, the minority men should fight for everything.

That made me think... If all the women unite together for their right, let's say political right, I am sure a female gets to go to the parliament instead of a male with same quality.
If all the women unite to oppose dowry and other harassment women face in the society, there will not be any luxuries for men to settle with marriage without having to obey their women's rules.

Yes, we are talking about our rights. But who is actually denying our rights?
The men? or The women?
I think the primary hindrance here is the women. Whether knowingly or unknowingly, women play major role as a barrier to their own right.

As they say, the women is their biggest and worst enemy. The women will be first to shout against a women leadership. The women will be the first to show their displeasure when it comes to female management. Some women will surely regret if there is a law against dowry.

Even if the state starts to practice dowry harassment law seriously, I am sure many women will go behind the bars (MILs) instead of many men.

I am not painting the men as innocents here. But let's leave them for now. Let's talk about our unity.

When there is no unity among the people, even the countries have no power when it comes to fighting with their enemies. That's how many powerful nations and liberation armies lost their battles with their enemies, though the cause for their fight was always right.

Instead of magnifying our rights and power to commemorate the women's day, why don't we educate our women to be together as one unit and fight the battle?

When the mom and DD are in one page, how come the dad dominate the house?
When the MIL and DIL are in one page, how come the son/H gets the right to abuse his wife?
When the women of the entire village vote against the chauvinist men, how come they get a seat in the parliament?
When the women stop re victimizing the sexual survivors, and to start accusing the perpetrators instead, how come we get to hear from the society about our dress codes and manners? Instead the men, who cross their lines will be flooded with advises on how to behave?

Instead of writing pages about the sexual victims and their history for the TRP, if the female media journalist could bring a change by focusing more about the perpetrator and his background and what caused him to behave like a wild animal, they will understand what is the meaning of media shaming.
That's when the perpetrators family and society will understand the need to raise a well mannered boy.
But what actually happens is the reverse.

All these changes are really possible when women unit together as one force to fight against these ill-treatments.
When we are together, as that parliamentarian said, the minority men will beg for their votes and rights from us.

If not, all these "talking" will remain "talking" no matter how much we spend on commemorating this special day.

I am done with my talking.