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It is a Mad Mad Mad World

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Jan 20, 2012.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    I have always prided myself for being nutty as a fruitcake and firmly believed that my craziness accentuated my individuality. But alas , looks like I am not alone in my loonies club.A couple of recent incidents convinced me that the entire nation is going crazy.And at this rate I won’t be an individual who sticks out even if like a sore thumb but an undistinguished part of a m mad crowd.



    Thsse incidents show that madness is prevalent in the highest echelons of the government. You may wonder , how can I judge that the nation is going nuts by just two incidents. But you wouldn’t ask this question even if you had one ounce of Tamil blood running in your veins. For every Tamil knows the proverb:”Oru panai sotrrukku oru soru padam” But if your blood group is T negative (T for Tamil) and you bang your head against the wall over my spouting Tamil proverbs let me translate this. It means “ Even a single grain of rice will show whether all the rice in the pot is cooked or not”.

    And the two grains of rice, sorry the itwo incidents referred here, have lead me to conclude that the brains of the entire nation is getting cooked.

    First is the Election Commission order that all statues of elephants and Mayawati in Ulta sorry Uttar Pradesh must be covered with polythene or cloth in view of the forthcoming assembly elections in the state. No, the order for covering elephant statues is not because those doing the cover up job will go nuts deciding which is Mayawati’s statue and which is the elephant’s but because the pachyderm is the election symbol of her party. And the statues of both the state chief minister and her more comely party symbol would give her an unfair edge over rivals .

    .And so hapless government servants burnt midnight oil covering up the statues before the deadline set by the Commission.

    The incident shows that guys and gals in the commission need to get their heads examined. First elephant statues however covered aren’t going to look like horses. They’ll still look like elephants. And by the very covering people will recognize the statues as Mayawati’s.



    And it is damn unfair. If elephants are to be covered, how about the Congress symbol of hand.?Why has nothing been done to cover hands,? if it is fair enough EC should issue am order saying people should never display their hands or cover them with polythene or wear gloves. Going by the Commission’s brilliant logic for the elephants and Maya, if hands are covered they will not look like hands.. This of course will generate lot of employment for glove makers and polythene manufacturers will also make a killing.. Ain’t it a great idea sirjee?



    And parties have symbols like cycles and trucks too. Are we to ban use of cycles, trucks and buses too. We could be in danger of the Commission banning people riding bicycles, driving trucks or traveling in buses. The only way out is the commission, to be fair to all parties should issue a blanket ban on using human body parts or means of transport as election symbols.



    If not, the commission can at least desist from setting itself up as a rival for us poor humour writers by issuing such ROFL orders..



    Well, we get the kind of netas and babus we deserve After all, these guys go from our ranks and file. . When the Aam Admi is goingf nuts, can the babus be far behind?



    Take this case. Recently My brother-in-law was driving from his south Delhi home to attend a concert in New Delhi with his two kids. And at one point, he was caught in a massive traffic jam that lasted a couple of hours and the poor chap missed the concert.



    The guilty party, it turned out, was the biennial Auto Expo being held in the Pragati Maidan exhibition ground . Visitors to the car fair jammed the roads during rush hour paralyzing traffic all over New Delhi in a cascading effect.



    Now, what is the USP of the expo that it attracted crowds so huge that someone described it as a Kumbh Mela? Are people in our great capital so crazy about cars?No siiree!!!!!!!!!! It is the girls. We are a city of oglers you see. In fact on that paparticular day when my BIL missed the concert over 100,000 people flooded the exhibition ground!



    Every pavilion was manned by stunning girls in scanty attire. In fact even local supplements of the Delhi papers jdged the quality of each pavilion by the style quotient of the girls and not by the vehicle display! So how can you blame people drooling all over with their eyes popping out taking over the exhibition ground.



    What is the way out of this impasse? What could be done to keep away the young, old and middle aged Romeos and ensure that only serious car lovers visit the expo? You may suggest that employ smart-looking men instead of the girls. And that will create its own problems.


    God forbid, but what if droves of girls looking for good looking dates, auntiejees in quest of elibible grooms for their daughters flood the exhibition venue? And let us not forget the city’s gay community, whiose number going by the annual Gay Pride march must be considerable. What if these guys flood the car pavilions?



    Figure yourself as one of those smart male staff at the pavilions. What will you do if you are surrounded by aunties asking “Beta, may I have your horoscope” and girls whispering:”Are you free this evening’ and some guys making passes and suggestive gestures at you? The whole place is going to look like shaadi.com meets Sodom and Gomorrah.


    The only way to maintain sanity in this case, that is if people are really interested in maintaining sanity in this insane world is to have the pavilions manned by grannies on the wrong side of seventies flashing toothless grins and obese men with their Safari suit buttons waiting to burst out.

    Sounds crazy? Well in that case go back to the first para. Did I ever say I was sane?
     
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  2. sarajara

    sarajara Gold IL'ite

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    ha ha ha .. good one balajee..:cheers

    When every one in the political arena is displaying its own comical quotient, do you think the election comission be left far behind.. hence i guess they wanted to have their fair share!

    coming to the fair deal of the traffic jam in delhi!! ha ha .. the guys who planned the concert missed out on the factors that might be diluting the visitors to the event!! ;-)

    Men with auntiees askinf for horoscopes and girls calling them would all still be excited and try to check out the good looking girl or the most prosperous aunty and try to portray themselves as perfect gentlemen!! ;) it would be another perfect comedy show! :rotfl
     
  3. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji,

    You said girls in minis at the expo ? umean if u buy car, the girls come with it, i mean for ashort durationj at least ? HAHA

    i thought these things happened abroad and now they are happening here eh !
    Yes if i were to go to the exhibition, i am sure all the aunties could come to me propoising.HAHA

    And covering the heads of elephants, yes thati read and found it ridiculous. And this will give Mayawati's campaign a boost for sure, behanji saying that see that i am a dalit and discriminated, and sure enough all votes go to her.Must have been Rahul's brainhaired ideas for sure.

    Good one, i can safely say, u are sane, but copying kamalji, reading from the papers and reporting it.HAHA

    go ahead, i am going slow these days, so u take over,

    Regards

    kamal
     
  4. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

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    thats a good one Balajee...
    I think the whole country is finding this covering of statues to be ridiculous.. infact there was a news article which said that the UP govt employees were finding it difficult to get enough polythene sheets to cover these statues...:spin
    about the auto expo.. what to say the marketing strategies nowadys anyways baffles me totally..:hide:
    so we all are living insanely in this mad mad world..:bonk:bonk:rotfl:rotfl
     
  5. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Sarajara, y there was a survey fe2 years ago deswcribinb Indians as among the most humourless of nations. Obviously it wasw conducted by someone who has never been to India. From an ordinary joe to Indi everybody here works hard at upping the laughter quotient, whether deliberately or unintentionally. .
     
  6. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji, if that is the case I would have gladly bought a car. And if that was the case Harshaji would have never allowed you to venture anywhere near Delhi during the expo.Mayawati has aleady said what you have said. It is a pity that she didn't point out the absurdity of the order. I am worrie because if government organs vie with each other to make people laugh, no one is going to read our blogs! We can never become as funny as these guys.
     
  7. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Kelly the marketing strategies often raise doubts whether they are marketing cars or girls!!!!!!!! Look at the bright side of cvering the statues. The election Commission has jumped into the fray of providing us some entertainment.
     
  8. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Balajee, covering the elephant statues, was the news of the day in our house, when we first heard it..you said it right, if they are going to cover up, are they going to morph into some other animal..:) Indirect boost indeed not thought by the Election Commission..

    Car expo or not, these kind of 'cheerleading' comes along with it..

    Sriniketan
     
  9. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Sri the girls , I think are called "HOSTESSES" SO THAT YOU DON'T CONFUSE THE EXPO WITH A SPORTS EVENT. eVEN IF THEY ARE CHEERLEADERS WHAT IS CONCERNING IS THE ATTITUDE OF DELHUIITES. mOST OF THOSE WHO INVADED THE EXPO ARE MIDDLE CLASS GUYS WHO ARE NOT GOING TO BU0 LUXURY CARS, EVEN LUXURY MINICARS LIKE MINI COOPER OR THE UPGRATED vw BEETLE THEY JUST FLOODED THE VENIUE TO OGLE AT THE GIRLS. aND BELIEVE ME SWUCH MASS OGLING RESULTS IN TREMENDOUS INSECURITY AMONG THE ORGANISERS AS IT CAN BE A FIRST STEP TOWARDS ASSAULT. aND DERAILING TRAFFIC ALL OVER THE NEW DELHI AREA, THAT IS TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!
     
  10. swarnalata.N.S.

    swarnalata.N.S. Platinum IL'ite

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    Perfectly true. It is indeed a very MAD world and we are all made insane to match it, so that we can GRIN and bear it .
     

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