It Happened In a Ski Lodge

This happened around 1978 or so, in a ski lodge in Vermont. Obviously a woman was involved -- otherwise I wouldn't be writing this In this case, the woman was a good looking young American woman.

Skiing was the main common pastime of people from my group at work. Americans seldom spend their free time with coworkers-- this was a rare exception. Even though my skiing level was quite low and going to Vermont was like a mall walker going to Everest, I went mainly for the company. I didn't enjoy the skiing nor the atmosphere. The biting cold didn't help either. The skis are about 6 foot long each and I couldn't wait to take them off. I was sitting in the ski lodge, feeling quite depressed, and ruing all the money wasted, when a pretty girl walked in, carrying her skis. Ski areas are very friendly places and I asked her how her skiing was. "Crappy", she said. I don't like people who complain and this was almost the end of our conversations. Her problem was with the quality of the snow -- either too powdery or not powdery enough. She hung around and talked.

"I live an hour from New York City", said I.

"Do you go to the city much?" she asked.

"No. I don't know anybody there. There are a lot of things to do there. I like an Indian restaurant which is near the UN. I also would like to catch a Broadway show or two. However, it is no fun going there alone."

"But you know me" she said, quite a bit to my surprise. Obviously, she saw something in me, that she liked. I couldn't have asked for a better invitation but was too stupid to capitalize on it. I just sat there saying nothing. She hung around for a few minutes, obviously waiting for me to ask her for her phone number. I continued to sit there saying nothing. The cat got my tongue. She had gone as far as she could and she left.

I went back to my room. It was then it dawned on me with full force that she was waiting for me to ask for her phone number. I hurried back to the lodge but she was gone. Forever.

Looking back, it is easy to see why I couldn't bring myself to ask her:

Talking to girls was considered "forward" in India during my time.

Nor did I learn to ask girls out in the US. Only a very small percentage of American girls would go out with foreigners. Of them, I would be interested in only a subset.

Even though asking for a phone number is just words, சட்டியில் இல்லேன்னா அகப்பையில் வராது. (This is actually a major insight.)

Another opportunity lost.

We may well have not gotten along. I may have gotten tired of her. She may have gotten tired of me. One or both may have concluded that this was all a big mistake. There may have been heartache involved. But this is all sour grapes.

It would have been nice to have found out.

 

Coffeelover: I am glad that you continue to enjoy my blog. I will post a more detailed response later.

 

> How did you meet your wife? I am so curious about it. You missed lot of opportunities with girls. What made you select your wife.

Coffeelover, you just have to wait with the rest of them, until the book comes out

I will say one thing. When one comes abroad, his life gets complicated in many ways, one of them being in spousal choice. He changes a lot while his family doesn't, causing all sorts of problems from the people most interested in his welfare. I am not dropping any hints here. I would have married my ideal mate, irrespective of her country of origin. I am like that wonly: யாதும் ஊரே யாவரும் கேளிர்

 

> like you the cat gets their tongue.

I almost didn't see this comment. The Recent Comments shows only the last five and if there had been more comments, I would have missed it.

Thanks for digging through the old blog entries. I have been meaning to put links to some of them. My "newer" readers have not seen them.

Asking a girl out was simply not a part of my repertoire, at that time. It is as simple as that. Just because it is words, one cannot assume that it will come out at the right time. It still has to be conditioned. Unless it is in the pot, it won't come out in the ladle. And the response of asking for a date was not in my pot.

I want to write more but have to leave for work early today.

Now what do you think of this incident?

Going back to the ski slope incident, I do feel like I missed an opportunity -- not to "capitalize" as you put it, but for friendship. It would have given me a purpose in visiting New York. I might have picked up some other interests. My skiing might have improved.

> so like an Indian man to do that

Go ahead and have your pick of Afghanistani man, Yemeni man, Pakistani man, Libyan man, and Saudi Arabian man, if you don't like us. See if I care. Sheez.

My feelings are completely hurt Do you think that your Bholanath would have done better? (I know you are Bengali.)

 

> that movie theater thing I've already read

How about this?

> u sure have a lot of interesting incidents in your life

These things happen when you go from one culture to another.