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Is your mother in law like Lalita pawar???

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sonu_627, Nov 14, 2005.

  1. shilpi

    shilpi New IL'ite

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    Hi freinds....

    sorry to hear ur stories...i guess as i didnt have to experience all this i can not even imajine people being so inconsiderate ...after all they also must be having daughters! But one thing is sure in today's world in a family whoever has money has power to express his or her point of view and they will be taken seriously...if ur husband is rich chances r u will be respected more.... its ironic but true...

    Shilpi
     
  2. sonu_627

    sonu_627 Silver IL'ite

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    some part is true

    Hi Shilpi,

    I agree to u in some part that if u r rich than u get respect.But sometimes favourisim cross beyond wealth. As days r passing we are goin modern by even modern educated ladies are suffering beyond their reach.Its nice to hear from you tht u had not faced such things in your life and i hope u be more happy. Its not only in families DIL are suffering husbands are also suffering only its only their own mothers so they dont revolt. They understand and know each n everything goin on in house but stay calm till they its tolerable.

    Nothing to worry friends its just part n parcel of life. There wud be something good behind this bad.I believe in karma .Might be we did some bad karma so we have to face such situations.Lets do good so we face good!

    Sonu
     
  3. saanvi

    saanvi New IL'ite

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    Hi

    Even i am troubled by this question that why is it all out war between DIL and MIL? My MIL has recently come to live with us and i am so nervous, i cant eat, cant sleep, all the time i have this scary feeling in my stomach that something will go wrong ! Things have gone wrong despite my trying my best. I am so desperate to sort this tension out but nothing works. May 2 or 3 days will go by peacefully and then some meaningless thing will happen and the tension is back. I am loosing weight because of stress but i really dont think there is any answere to this problem. If there is, then please let me know as i am desperate:icon_frown:.


    Regards
    Saanvi
     
  4. Sashmitaa

    Sashmitaa Senior IL'ite

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    Hey guys,

    My MIL is one of the meanest persons I have ever met. To others she pretends to be good MIL and she is taking care of me. But inside her heart what goes on God only knows.

    I guess most MILs compare their daughters and DIL lives. If their daughter is economically weak and if her DIL is economically sound her mind starts to feel jealous. And she tries all the possible ways of getting money from them.

    In my case, we have a car here. In minneapolis we cant lead a life without car because bus transportation is very minimum. when we called them over phone and told them we have bought a car without analysing the facts and the necessity of that car my SIL who is stayong with her mother for more than 10 years asks her brother to buy a car for her mom. She added U and ur wife are going by car and here do we to walk?

    Why this unnecessary spending? If they take it positively and think about it everything will go well and we will have some respect for them. But I think this wont change.

    Travelling in the same boat like many of u guys
    Lakshmi
     
  5. Chandramukhi

    Chandramukhi Senior IL'ite

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    Hello All,

    My MIL is not like Lalita Pawar! We can talk for hours on the phone about all kind of subjects. She never interfears with our life.

    Even when she goes shopping she will buy things for me.

    We even have a drink together once in a while!
     
  6. alpha

    alpha New IL'ite

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    Hello Sonu_627,

    I totally agree with u hating ur in-laws, cause even I do, I think she is the meanest MIL, its one way for her daughters, but its another to DIL. the first time she came & stayed with us , it was daily hell. Second time she came, when we fought again she took her son & lived in an apartment while I lived alone. I hate her like anything. I dont even bother to think of her. The relationship between us can never be better, not that I want to also.
     
  7. vinj74

    vinj74 New IL'ite

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    HI Sonu,

    While reading your problem i felt like i m at your place.
    I faced same problems from the day one of courtship period and i had 3 sils and my hubby is only son.Oh mil became so insecure and posessivefrom the day one.
    And out of that she destroyed her family totally.
    Firstly she broke our relationships with my sils.Then she started pumping my fil and other relatives too.And finally now last yr all thread has cutted off.
    But now in this mth of april we are no more alive for them .
    I cant say that they have died for us bcoz my hubby and me cant think that way. From past 1 year they behaved worst then any enemy.My fil even steal everything from my hubbys office.So u can imagine,wt kind of ppl they are.
    There is no rules for making them happy sometimes .

    ITS just a Good Karmas and Bad Karmas.

    Me ,my hubby and our child might have done something really bad in our past lives so we r suffering like this,That our own parents have bacame our enemy.
    And I really feel pity for my hubby as he is very much attached with his family but they discarded us badly.
    But yes if ur inlaws r of this category then just leave them soon dt try hard bcoz nothing will work i gave 10 yrs of my life tried to be motherly for my mil and sils too .Did lots of sacrifices left my so many things but now i m nowhere.

    WE are all time scared and mentaly disturbed now, wt next how they will harrass us ?
    Insult us and other kinds of dirty tricks.

    In other hand they are not happy at all .They have made there life also hell (as for destroying someones mental peace u have to spoil ur mental peace first)and there daughters too, but still wt admit .

    So my mil is double or triple of lalita pawar and sils r more then shashkalas inspite of they r all well educated docters and teachers.


    vins

    vins
     
  8. vaidehi

    vaidehi Silver IL'ite

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    hey!


    This is quite common in each and every household. With my bitter exp with my MIL or so called inlaws rules are to be followed only by poor DIL's.

    I used to get depressed by my mils statements so much that i used to sit and cry and would try to fond out reasons why they discriminate me. but frankly till date i was not able to justify their behaviour. i have tried alll the possible ways like ignoring her comments,responding back and whatt not but they don't try to change.

    so according to me best hing is to just be happy with ur kids,husbands and u . Don't ever try to adjust for ur inlaws and lead ur own life and don't bother to whatever they say. by doing these things u will only earn bad name but atleast u will be ble to do what u wish. People have mouth and they keep saying some or other thing its their attitude to do so

    cheers
    vaidehi
     
  9. vinj74

    vinj74 New IL'ite

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    Yes you are right Vadehi bcoz if end of the day after giving so many years of ur life still you are struggling and proving yourself .Then its damn frustating.And after this all still you are not sure how long have to prove yourself .
    For how long and how many test you have to give.
    You shld chill with ur kids and hubby just dt care for them .bcoz this exam is never ending some times and after doing lots of hard work success is not guaranted.Like I m nowhere . Feels like fool now.
     
  10. nitashah

    nitashah New IL'ite

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    i can understand the dilema women are as far as mil's are concerned especially when it comes to the extent of the son choosing between the two. I feel both women have to make adjustments to live in harmony.

    Create a line of communication, consideration and co-operation.
     

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