1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Is your mother in law like Lalita pawar???

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sonu_627, Nov 14, 2005.

  1. sonu_627

    sonu_627 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    92
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi friends,

    I know most of the ladies who are in forum to read or write are almost a housewife and ofcouse someone's daughter in law! I wanted to ask you friends how is your mother in law's behaviour with you and your husband? Is it great relationship or a spoiled one or in a place where it can be drifted fully?

    Mine is the worst case in this world i think.More i think more i hate her.I know its not right to think so foul about your husband's mom as she is his mom but few things happens in such a indecent n partial way that elders take decision.

    Why everyone wants to their son to be like Rama but they themself dont turn like King Dasharath.They always behaves like Kaikai.

    Partiality,jealousy,comparison are the only things left in these world. In older days elders use to get happy with son's success n use to encourage so much in their respected fields despite their parents knew none of that.but as days passing out educated people behaves worse than illiterates. Modernness is only in outfits but by mind they are worse than old illiterate generations.No bonds are left these days .Raksha Bandhan is a festival of bonds between brother n sister .what if sister is jealous of brother's sucess? what if she goes on n on demanding things to support her family without making her husband work? what if mother support her daughter in this state n say wrong to son? why its mother is always for daughter and not for daughter in law? why it is only people keep relation only because of money?


    Hey u guys do u agree with me ? I am ditched by my Mother in law n sister in law recently so i m totally out of my mind.

    Please share your experience with ypur Mother in law n sister in law.so if i am wrong i might correct myself
     
    Loading...

  2. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,024
    Likes Received:
    489
    Trophy Points:
    190
    Gender:
    Female
    Is your mother-in-law like Lalita Pawar?

    Hai,
    It is really nice to read your letter. But I feel most of the Indian moms are like that. Mine was no different. My hubby is the youngest and she stayed with us till her last (for 7 years) and made my life hell. But in the last she was bedridden and I was the only person who took care of her. Even her son would not come near her saying that even the room is smelling bad because of her ber sore. She was in a coma so she didn't know that. Luckily I did not have a ny SIL.
    What I feel is, every one should act according to one's situation. The experience of other people may help but the final decision is one's own.
    I would like to tell about one MIL who praises only her DIL and does not talk much about her daughters, feels that her son is spending lots of money on account of his sisters, says that her DIL does all the work in her house and when she is not well takes good care of her, chides her DIL for doing lots of house work etc., continuously tells her DIL to take care of health and many other such things. SHE IS NONE OTHER THAN MY MOTHER. She does all these things and feels that there is lot of work for her DIL whenever we daughters visit them.
    I do not behave like a SIL, share the housework, take gifts for them, praise the cooking etc. and try not to create any misunderstanding between my mother and her DIL. Even then my mother feels that I am a burden.
    At least let my SIL enjoy her life, what do you think?
    Varloo
     
  3. sonu_627

    sonu_627 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    92
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Heard a new thing from u

    Hai Varloo,

    I really heard a new thing from you dear, as MIL praises so much of DIL and feels burden of her daughters. In my entire life I haven't heard of such kind things. Might be your SIL had done some good karma so she is having such a good MIL. Might be we had done some bad karma so we are facing such things.

    After posting my problem in this site I would say every DIL are facing few problems with their MIL. We are not new. I don't know why MIL feels so insecure with DILs. I hope we don't behave such way when we wear their shoes(when we will be MILs).

    What do you friends think when our kids get married n we will be MILs will we behave like our MILs? As they are also educated still so partial. We are also educated will we still behave like illiterates??

    Just think about it friends!

    sonu
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2005
  4. jyoti

    jyoti New IL'ite

    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    8
    MIL perspective!

    Hi all,

    I see many ladies here having problems with their in-laws. It is really disturbing when we think that even in these times things have still not changed when it comes to relationships between DILs and MILs (sometimes FILs too!).

    Sonu, I like your question "is your MIL like Lalita pawar???".

    Varloo, I have a question to you. You had mentioned that your mom is a very good and kind MIL to your SIL. That was very nice to hear. Does your SIL appreciate/recognize your mom's support for her. Or is she a typical DIL towards a MIL? Just curious to know about it.

    One more thing that always surprises me is, how come these men don't have SIL problems with their in-laws?
     
  5. sonu_627

    sonu_627 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    92
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Mens r less of emotions

    Hi Jyoti,

    U ask y mens dont face such problems as womens??? Its like mens has very less emotions compared to womens.We always think by heart.What ever we do we do by heart dont think of logic or by mind but mens are always towards logic , practical kind of things so they dont face it.

    We ladies get emotional by watching a Tv serial also , so MILs issues is such a huge one compared to that.

    I think its better to think like husbands sometimes.BY MIND N LOGIC!......

    SONU
     
  6. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,024
    Likes Received:
    489
    Trophy Points:
    190
    Gender:
    Female
    Is your mother-in-law like Lalita Pawar?

    Dear Jyoti,
    Yes, my SIL also feels the same. Not only her, but her whole apartment was surprised at my mother's large heartedness. She isisted that my SIL stay and look after her mother for nearly 2 months, while she had a pace maker fitted. And my mother is also old and she was managing eithout a maid also. My father is a heart patient.

    Actually the MIL and the DIL fight to do the house work with each other, both insist that the other has done too much and should rest. Decisions are taken together and they go to all the happenings almost together. I have 2 SILs. Luckily for my mother, both of them are like her, very religious, sentimental etc. while we daughters are opposite to her.
    Mother says that MIL should praise her DIL, mothers should not praise their children to others as it may seem like boasting. I feel it is right in a way, what do you think?
    varloo
     
  7. shilpi

    shilpi New IL'ite

    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Mine is a god send

    I think ur relationship with ur inlaws depend upon u and u alone...My tip to everybody is give them importance and make them feel wanted..voila this does the trick.....at least in my case it did. What i feel is they r insecured in their old age and the feeling of belonging put there fear at rest.
     
  8. Jaya

    Jaya New IL'ite

    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Dear Shilpi,

    Even I tried ur technique of respecting and giving in laws all the love and affection right from day 1 of my marriage because even I was advised the same way before marriage, to treat them with respect. But if they expect that only they should be given respect and importance, only they are the most important and others r less important and not to treat others with dignity, then its really a tough situation.

    Regards
     
  9. sonia

    sonia Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    what to do




    hey shilpi
    i did the same wd my inlaws.i gave respect to my mil but she did't accept and when i did't ask something from her she comment that i m not giving her respect.i some times think that what sin i have done dat she is such type.before my marriage i used to bet wd my friends dat mil can b like ur mother,its up to us( like u r saying).
    but they were not agreed by saying dat mother is mother and mil is mil.
    now even i also believe dat they were right.
    u won't believe how mean my mil is.my husband is an engineer having very good salary.but even then my inlaws r so money minded dat they don't even feel good to give me enough to eat .they comment on my diet even.they did't care me even in my pregnancy.she wanted me to do job just for 800 rs. in my 8th month of pregnancy.becoz of my inlaws always there is a big problem bwn me and my husband.my life has become a hell.
    even then i feel dat i shd do my duty whether they feel happy or not.i m now in usa for some time n happy.but afraid to go back to india(i have to go there after 2 mnths).
    i feel i can never make them satisfied.if u or somebody can give me tip....
    most welcome
    sonia
     
  10. sonu_627

    sonu_627 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    92
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Believe in GOD

    hi friends,

    I started this thread n felt there are many in same boat. When we discuss with friends who has good MIL they definately blame us.I experienced it personally.I read Bhagwadgita n really follow it also.So since after my marriage i follow do ur duty n dont expect about fruit.Its right also.So we { me n husband} both sacrifice so many things for my MIL but her attitude dint changed at all .Its goin on worse day by day.

    1. When we took flat in mumbai we took it in MIL's,not bcz to make her happy but to give her more importance that she is still alive but his bro now last month took flat in his n his wife's name.Still MIL has no objections.

    2. Ours were love marriage so she dint accept me for 2 yrs but this BIL also did love marraiage also eloped n got married still he got very big reception.

    3. In reception MIL told all of relatives that it was arrange marriage.


    Lots of partiality goes on in Life dears.Not even mom's are not right sometimes.But its not suffering i say but way of life. Life is not smooth all time some ups n down are always there.No family is perfect.If We have good husband than problem with MIL,if bad husband than MIL is too good.GOD is always there to support HIS believers.Still HE is looking at us and might be smiling.Friends i believe in HIM n really believe HE is helping us in all means only sometimes we dont notice.

    Forgive n Forget it will really help.

    sonu
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2005

Share This Page