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Is This Toddler Behaviour Normal? Pls Help

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by Sweetygals, Feb 9, 2019.

  1. Sweetygals

    Sweetygals Bronze IL'ite

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    hi,
    i have a 3.5 year old daughter and 3 months old son. i and my kid came to india (my mom place for delivery). after coming she twice asked for her dad and asked about our maid. like when we will go back. where is our maid . when will dad come. since im working i have a full time maid.
    during delivery time my husband said u and ur parents cannot concentrate on older kid. so let me drop her to my mil house for a month. i had 2nd time c section. so he was more worried. i was afraid how she is going to stay there. she might cry asking where is mom and come back. my mil, fil and sill are completely new to her.
    but it never happened like that
    she has asked twice that when i will go back to mom afteer seeing my photo. thats all.
    then when she came back i was with my 1 month new born. i could see she missed me. she was on back of me for 2 months. my mil, fil ans sil felt so much that she was not even intersted to see them after coming here. but there she was bonding and playing with them so much. once my sil said i want to talk to her, my daughter jus like that said i dont like her.
    i was also paying full attention as she should not be disturbed seeing new born.

    now after pongal she went back to my home where my husband, my mil and maid are there since her school starts on january. even while leaving here with mil and maid. she just like that went. not even a bye saying she dont like india at all and asked me wtr i have kept her coat, cap , crayins, books .... all were surprised that she never cried and went so happily. my parents were the one who were taking care her at times together with maid. this maid is with us from my kid 1.5 old.
    now after going there also she does not bother about anything. when ever i do video call she talks casually. only once in video call she said come back now mummy. thats all.
    now after going there she is more playful but if she wants get things done she bonds with my maid or her dad. otherwise just like that playing.
    im not sure whether this is normal.

    in general my toddler is active, more playful, poor eater, intelligent, good memory and values things than people and adjust and bond with people wherever she is there.
    im so worried.

    thinking this im saying i will go back to my home. my husband and mil saying take rest in ur home and come back. this new born also will be 5.5 months. u can manage. now it will b struggle to manage if u come here. my husband says u take care of u and younger kid. me take care of older kid for 2.5 months.
    my mom also says the same focus on u and ur new born. jus 2 months ur toddler wont be spoiled. if u go there ur mil is there u cant even take rest. she will expect to cook, take care of new born. wherr u r going to hav time for toddler.

    im confused pleaseè help
     
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  2. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @Sweetygals ,

    I find many kids like this; self assured and easily adoptable. They also seem to practice ''out of sight, out of mind"!:grinning: I think you don't have to worry about it. You should rather feel happy that your husband and mil are taking care of her well and emotionally the child is safe and content. With such a wonderful child around I don't think it would be difficult for you to take care of your LO; to satisfy your own emotional needs you may consider returning home.
     
  3. Sweetygals

    Sweetygals Bronze IL'ite

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    thanks for the soothing words. im just worried that when they grow wont they be attched to mom, dad and all. and obey what they tell.
    because in small age so much independent.
    is it whether i did not have proper bonding with them
     
    GeetaKashyap likes this.
  4. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    A friend's daughter is like that, she is in her twenties. She is very well behaved and affectionate with parents. She meets grandparents and relatives affectionately but doesn't involve emotionally. Even when one of her parent goes out of station, she is okay and doesn't display over emotions. According to me, it is just her nature; call it better emotional control, call it low emotional display or extreme emotional maturity that great people achieve after a great deal of practice!

    Has she inherited this trait from her father? Irrespective, when you go back, work on developing an additionally close bond with her and let her hear 'I love you very much' from both the parents every day. It kind of reaffirms her of your and your husband's love and such open affirmations always help in improved bonding. As a mother, you are craving for some emotional drama which is quite natural, then why don't you go back to be with her?:grinning:

    Think less and act quickly for your own well being. All the best.
     

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