Is this reason worthy enough to return to India?

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by anika987, Jan 16, 2016.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I know I had started some threads about r2i. Every time I try to see the good side about being in America but when something happens I start to miss India..

    today i I was driving and was about to park my car when somebody in front started taking reverse from the left lane.i waited and took reverse for the lady to drive but for some reason she was mad at me and yelled curse words..

    oneday i walmart,by mistake I moved back a bit and by mistake hit the lady behind and she started staring in anger and disgust.i apologized but she continued..

    In pf changs I was laughing and talking with a friend and the waiter kept the food.i thought of a joke she said earlier and burst out laughing.the waiter took offense and was too sarcastic all the time...

    another time,I was driving again and it was my mistake this time,I cut the green to the left too soon.the guy who was driving in front showed me the middl finger

    another time in a shop dressbarn I wanted to return a dress but the lady was searching my dress inch by inch to check for dirt.she did not do it to anyone else.i f t offended


    i always felt though people r rude in our country am able to get over it.here if something happens I feel dejected and think"did I come all the way here to be treated bad"

    i feel so secondary...hope I was clear...

    howdo u deal with rudeness and get a sense of belonging
     
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  2. Lakshmipav

    Lakshmipav Silver IL'ite

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    Don't feel bad .. But ur post only says u r doing mistakes while parking or driving .. It's something that u need to think .. Even if somebody hits me from behind apologize I would get angry .. That time we can't control anger ..

    try to be careful while driving n parking .. Dress returns n waitress thing forget it .. Have returned so many items till today never faced any issue .. I think the person u attended is something like bad customer service ..u could have reported it to store manager that time ..
     
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  3. indoc

    indoc Gold IL'ite

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    @OP..

    Try speaking in hindi in Madurai .. or kannada in howrah (not with others, but within our group)... you will get the same stares.. and face the same prejudices.. there are jerks everywhere.. and in a country of 120 crores, the probability of encountering a prejudicial moron is more in India.. attitude of some prejudicial, border line KKK morons shouldn't be the reason for R2I..
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    True but sometimes being at home all day,taking care of kids,battling the cold weather makes no sense when we can have family,friends,help,sense of belonging back in India..
    life is to live and not to survive..

    however, cannot go back due to finance reasons hmm..
     
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  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    OP....In India people are killing for over taking them , parking spots or a dent to their car.It is not like we do not have hot heads .Don't be so sensitive about what people who are not a part of your life do .Not worth wasting your feeling over them.
     
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  6. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Op, What you mentioned is not a US thing, Its an everyday thing even in India. When I went to Macys first time, the associate followed me everywhere. Maybe she thought I was a shoplifter. Why becoz I was just wearing some tee and leggings. I don't know why she did but she did it. I was upset. That doesn't mean anything. To each their own.

    In India I have seen worser things than you mentioned while driving and parking. People start cursing in foul language. Here they don't becoz its not allowed. Middle finger is common even in India. You are feeling lonely and hence the pull. Do you live in a cold place like East coast. If yes, see if you can relocate to south like TX. There the climate is fantastic and every second person is Indian. You wont miss India that much.

    Grass is always greener on the other side. People who live in India think here we live like royalty. Here we think people there are happier.Once you put it in your mind being in India is better, you can only cultivate it. Put it on back burner since you are here for financial reasons. Get some hobbies and join some community group. Good Luck.
     
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  7. abc00

    abc00 Gold IL'ite

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    I too agree with others that grass is greener on the other side. Depending on your situation I would say that its your own dissatisfaction/insecurities bothering you to switch to a comfortable state (relocate) than what you are now. Do not worry, this is not unusual and happens ! I too feel like this sometimes when things are not moving my way, infact even yesterday when friends from India were sending Sankranthi pics...but these reasons are not good enough for R2I. Dont think this happens to you because you are a SAHM, it can happen to even the busy working ladies.

    Now because R2I is not an optin for you, think of the next best option to make yourself feel better. Do not analyse too much into yourself thinking there is some problem with you. Sometimes it is better to let go easy. List out options what makes you happy.....only those options which you can achieve on your own, not being dependent on anyone. Have some short term realistic goals and you will begin having fun. Read one positive quote everyday, surround yourself with only happy people/thoughts, say your prayers everyday. Being positive will change your outlook. Good luck !
     
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  8. dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    When I encounter some negative incident like this, I immediately think of something positive in the same scenario.

    For example, if someone honked at me, while reversing, I don't look at him / her, or think about it later.
    Instead, I think about how how people wait at stop signs without a red light. In India, they don't even wait for the red lights. Here they wait because of just a sign board, even if no vehicles are around.

    The idea is to fill my mind with positive things that are here. Since moving back physically is not an option, the only thing somewhat in our control is our minds.

    Cheer up!
     
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  9. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    There are jerks around everywhere. If i get a bad service, i just do not tip in restaurants and never visit it again. Even in shops, if i am not happy with the treatment, i never shop at that place again.

    Move to Bay Area, there are a lot of Indians and you will not miss India or US.

    I think a better reason to R2I would be to have kids experience and learn our culture, learn to be street smart and learn our language and extended family. Moving while they are young helps them to adapt quickly and one can always return back when they are in high school or going to college.
     
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  10. SoniaG

    SoniaG New IL'ite

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    Most important thing is ' Live at a place you like and enjoy' and don't live at a place because you don't like the other side. If you enjoy life in US, stay here but don't stay in US because of some trivial things like hot, electricity, noisy roads etc. At either of these places, your kids are going to become one of them and eventually you will settle where your kids settle down.
     
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