Is this life? Just confused....

SGBV dear a good post. I was just thinking about you and was surprised to see a post from you. I also wonder about life. In my opinion I feel it is in our hands to make our married life peaceful and enjoyable. God makes the jodis , some are not happy with their better half and how much they try to change them it is difficult. If we are lucky and are able to adjust and forgive them for what we dont like in them then we can lead a peaceful life.

It is difficult to get a perfect partner but we can try to change them and if not possible we should change ourselves. In many things me and my husband are different but I have tried to adjust with him in the way he wants . He is very loving and caring though he is short tempered but that is only for a short time and he will forget about it as if nothing happened and once I asked him also why he gets angry sometimes for which he will say when I am angry how can I stop myself. I think you must have read my thread May be we are different from each other but we complete each other.

If we have God and elder's blessings then our life will be peaceful and enjoyable. It is in our hands.

 

Dear SGBV

It's mostly our perception to think A or C or D's life is perfect when we go through all the hardships. How do we know if its peaceful or not? who knows what they may be going through, he/she may put a brave face before others or may not share anything explicitly. It's the brain conditioning to think others are always better than me, during bad times. One may have a perfect life partner but may not be financially sound, few may not be physically fit, some do not have stable career..the list go on. Everything just looks great superficially. Each one of us would have gone or will have to go through ups and downs of life.
Nobody, just nobody has a perfect life. everybody has their own problems. Just that some people know how to deal with in a perfect way. Again who knows how hard the learning process was?

However, it's sad those 2 people had to battle with difficult life.

 

I too knew someone like your man, my colleague when I was in my 20's. He too seemed perfect person, going to be perfect hubby to some lucky girl or so we all, inexperienced 20 something girls, thought. We went our separate ways and lost touch. Now after so many years, mainly through social network I caught up with some friends from that period, and to my shock that person is no more anything like what we could have predicted. difficult life yes but self created by own choices and very difficult to understand why (shocking in the negative sense)

From that what I learnt is 'Dont go by the surface looks, appearances or superficial talks.' Most of the ppl who try so hard to project image of being perfect this or that in public are doing so for a reason. The genuine ppl are themselves, they have nothing to prove.

Didnt mean to take away from your thought -provoking post, but your example reminded me of that guy.

 

Dear SGBV,
Have come across such people and i have wondered too..Remember there is saying? Grass on the other side is always greener.. We never know the walks of life or the life path of others..They might pretend to be happy outside..We can never predict what is happening within them..No one is Mr.Perfect or Ms Perfect in this world...One who is not afraid of storms can sail his ship..it all depends on the individual capability as to how they handle their situations smartly...

 

SGBV.. very thoughtful and relevant post.
In fact it is consoling though..

I was thinking of my case...
I am an average look ( not fair - but I have won few contests in my college days and early careers )
I am really good at managing home, cooking, crafts, stitching, takes care of my in laws more than my parents and all.. but DH takes it all or granted..
I am earning more than double his pay and I save a lot by taking care of most of the stitching needs and all..but I dont have any freedon for anything
nothing he plans with me an kids
for everything he needs his parents...

 

Clarity of ideas and the right approach can fix things safer if one neglects to keep that balance everything will be messy...

 

thought provoking post sgbv..

i too keep wondering in similar lines especially after marriage..

I wont vouch for the fact that ppl leading peaceful life do it even after having their own list of pblms and they put up a brave face..it projects as if am a cribber with no positivity. It is the intensity of the problem that really matters..For me love is the most important thing in life..Inspite of having a successful career, good looks, confidence, wonderful life I am suffering miserably since marriage..I am not even able to live with my H leave aside all my ILaws pblm adding fuel to fire..All this is threatening to take away what I consider as my top priority "LOVE" and hence am in pain
Whereas a colleague of mine got married to a person in her dept itself stating love is secondary and it is the financial part that is more important in life. Daily I look at this couple coming together, eating together and working together and feel how blessed and peaceful they are..They are indeed! its reflected in their faces..She got what she wanted so she is peaceful..not sure of the love they have for each other..She too might have pblms but she can handle it peacefully..

Similarly I will become peaceful when I get what I wanted..So there is disparity in the world..Some are tormented more & since I have no answers I blindly believe and attribute all my pains to my karma of previous birth..I also think of ppl who suffer more than me and practice gratitude. That is the only way I can find peace in myself & helps me sustain my faith in god.

Whatever the situation is if we follow the path of dharma and truth though things wont change at present for a suffering soul it will be definitely accounted for on the judgement day!

 

Not all good men make good husbands or fathers.Mahatma Gandhi is a good example. I have seen a lot of men who are neither humble not very good in general make excellent husbands and fathers.

There is a saying in hindi....'Dil gadhi pe aaya to paree kya cheez hai'.Translated literally it means...if you fall in love with even a donkey(here it probably means...a girl not so eligible).....you covet her more than a fairy.The heart wants what the heart wants. Some people are not looking for perfect partners....just someone who makes their heart beat faster.


In the end it is about people being with the 'right' person...not the perfect one.