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Is there any way to reduce SIL's visits?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Iamagoodgirl, Dec 8, 2014.

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  1. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    now this sentence is definitely rude .
     
  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I had a neighbor once who had similar issues, pils moving and parents not wanting to live at her place. What she ended up doing is finding a rental place for her parents nearby so that they were around to help but not living in her house. Is this an option?
     
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  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    OP, correct me if I am wrong.

    As far as I understood from what I read in your threads, it is not that your PILs don't like to stay with their DD, but they don't like to move out from OP's house because of insecurity of losing their power here.

    Either they are afraid of losing their place/power at their son's home during their absence or they are worried about OP (their DIL) as they might think OP could drag her husband to her side permanently using this private time. Most of the MILs in this part of the world are insecure about this for sure. Thus, they probably want their DD to come over here - to OP's house, so that both mom and DD can implement their joint strategy tactfully.

    I wonder what is the role of OP's SIL's husband here? Is he alright to send his wife and kid to her brother's place this frequently, that too for long stays? Doesn't he miss them?

    Why not speak to him casually and very carefully about this?
     
  4. hubbyslife

    hubbyslife Junior IL'ite

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    Pocahontas,

    Is that so....still you r taking so much effort to write and enjoy ....Great I appreciate your efforts.

    I understand Nb25 can write on her thoughts without anybody's help.
     
  5. hubbyslife

    hubbyslife Junior IL'ite

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    You clearly said you find my attitude unacceptable. Did I give you rights to question my attitude? So was that not an accusation from your part? If it is a discussion, you had to stick to the rules of conversation, rather than judging my attitude.

    Yes I am an expert on polygamy and divorce. Now what can be done for that? Why are you always trying to prove things that I never intended or wished for?

    If I ran out of topic, then even you were a part of that discussion. You should have stopped at the very moment when you find that the topic is going out of discussion from my side. Why you didn’t do that? Even you were endlessly enjoying the debates. So now, on what basis you are saying that I ran out of topic when you did the same too.
     
  6. hubbyslife

    hubbyslife Junior IL'ite

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    Armummy, you know what, Nb25 can say any rude statement to any one, but no one should question. If we did, then we are trying to behave in condescending manner and taking the topics out of concern. Astounded to know that she has got supporters here as well..... OMG really....
     
  7. hubbyslife

    hubbyslife Junior IL'ite

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    Nb25,

    We had enough discussions, rather debates and arguments during the last one week where we both tried to affront and upset each other in one or the other way. May it’s my mistake that I might started it first, followed by you and then it extended to this level.

    Nb25, I really don’t like to create fights with people, no matter known or un-known. I seriously do not know anything about you and if at all any of my words or actions have caused harm to you, then I am equally hurt by my own acts. I am not a kind of person who is such in actual. Hence I am unable to put up with it. I am very genuine. Even I am astonished with all that happened.

    In the very beginning, I expressed that it is every DILs moral duty to take care of her In-laws. Yes I said it only because of the very experience that I had in my life. I must have done good deeds in my past life that I got a wonderful PIL and one elder SIL and as I said we both (i.e. me and my husband) together care for both side parents and see to it that none of them is struggling for anything. This is something very important for both of us.

    People generally say wicked things about in-laws, where I never had a familiarity with such conditions. Agreed that I failed to understand the DILs situations at times are very distressing and just could not take the blame on PILs every now and then. Beside that I was not holding anything personal for any one of you in this forum. I never experienced struggle with anyone whom I met. Hence thought of letting you know that please do not consider me wrong.

    Any way had a nice time debating with you. Got to learn many things from you. You are a very nice person by heart that is for sure.

    Thanks Nb25 for everything.

    Good luck!
     
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  8. RedFlower

    RedFlower Silver IL'ite

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    :eek:mg:Ended the debate without touching 500? notdonesmiley
     
  9. docathome

    docathome Gold IL'ite

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    Nope.. Wat finally happened to the SIL and MIL?
     
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  10. Chachi420

    Chachi420 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dhoni, Kohli, Dhawan, Gambhir etc did their part and are now celebrating Pongal or sleeping. We can add 1s and 2s till they come back and finish it off :coffee Who will hit the last ball thinkingsmiley

     
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