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Is there any way to reduce SIL's visits?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Iamagoodgirl, Dec 8, 2014.

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  1. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    I have been dealing with SIL problem since marriage.The only way to keep this problem minimal is to reduce her visits.
    There is no way i can tell MIL or husband directly that SIL should come home less frequently.I dont want open conflict in home.

    I have tried few tricks like asking her when she is going home and then planning something after that.Thats builds bit a pressure on her to not to keep extending her stay here for forever.

    Next thing i am planning is calling my relatives to visit us when she is here.That also builds pressure on her since she knows it doesnt look good after marriage staying at moms place for 8-15 days every month.

    I need few more tricks to build pressure on her to stay here less frequently because she makes my life hellish.

    Thanks all
    esp @sweetestshweta any suggestions?
     
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  2. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    How about..
    ..assigning some cooking tasks to her
    ..setting up cleaning schedule when she is there..that ways either she has to extend help in cooking or help you in cleaning , otherwise it won't look good.
     
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  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Is it very wrong to visit mother's house and stay there for few days when you want to/feel like going there?

    I mean, I would visit my mother's house anytime I wish to go. I don't need my brother's wife's permission for my stay at my mother's place, unless this home is officially written to my brother's or his wife's name and my mother lives under/with them.

    It is cruel expectation from Indian women, that you are not expected or not welcomed at your own house/parent's house after your marriage. It is like you are cut off or thrown to somewhere else.
     
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  4. sweetypi

    sweetypi Platinum IL'ite

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    Have you considered moving to a separate establishment ?
     
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  5. shari2003

    shari2003 Silver IL'ite

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    If it is your inlaw's home, you may not be able to decide on when your SIL should visit and for how long; even though it might seem very irritating and invasion of your privacy. Instead of cribbing and finding ways to drive her out, setting up another place for your husband and you seems more practical.
     
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  6. sumanrathi

    sumanrathi IL Hall of Fame

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    No WAY :( unless otherwise you have to come out of the family
    My wife is suffering a lot because of my sister.

    @yellowmango - she can suggest some good idea :)
     
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  7. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OP,

    Instead of using cheap tricks against your in laws to win them, I would advice you to consider objective methods towards a separate home. You might find a home in the same apartment or near by.

    Try to convince your husband positively. Use some positive tricks for this.

    Let your MIL and SIL live their life the way they were living so far. Just because you are attached to their family, doesn't mean they should completely change their life patterns, though it seem highly irritating to you.

    Imagine, if you are to be thrown out of your parents' house by your SIL, that too by some cheap tricks, so that you are compelled to leave due to embarrassment. How cheap?
     
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  8. Weasly

    Weasly Gold IL'ite

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    Is it possible to go to ur mom's place when she comes? Since ur inlaws are happy to host their daughter for long periods after marriage like this , they should let you also to visit ur place as often. Use this to ur advantage to visit ur home as much as possible I would say !
     
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  9. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    @sumanrathi

    Have you done anything to change your wife's fate, since you have recognized her problems it seems?

    How do you know that your wife is suffering from your sister's hands, since you live far away from them it seems? If so, how do you confirmed this?

    I think, OP would be happy to learn this from you, as the key here is to make her husband recognize that she is suffering from his sister's visit. If your wife can prove this to you- a husband who does not live with them 24/7, then OP can very well do the same to her H who apparently lives under the same roof. The rest needs to be cleared by him if all the relationship is to be protected.
     
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  10. sumalynux

    sumalynux IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah do this may be...


    If doing separate house is not feasible, then try building friendship with her.

    But if shes not good to you, and hurts you, or gangs up with her mother, and bother you then, you can visit your parents,relatives and friends during her stay..

    As others mentioned, you cannot have say on this, unless your MIL stays in your house and SIL is visiting your house more than required...

    So when she is here, try limiting talks with her, finish your household work, and get to room and watch movie, or read books...
     
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