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Is Something Wrong With Me?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by happygirl, Aug 10, 2016.

  1. happygirl

    happygirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Hello ladies,
    I'm not a frequent nember here. But sometimes i read the forums. Pls bear with me as the post is going to be a bit long.

    Now coming to the problem is we r a happy couple with small tiffs here and there. Intially there were lot of problems due to my hus job nature and inlaws. But now we made it for the happiness of our child.

    Now we r happy until only i close my mouth for everything. I shouldn't ask him anything. If only he asks for suggestion i will give my word. Not that he is bad, he never lacked me anything. I was always given what i asked for. Financially i never care for anything how he is giving money to his peers, as we will not be ripped off. He really appreciates me for that.

    Now coming to the main problem he never gives me emotional solace if i was feeling sad for whatever. If i cannot control my tears he gets irritated very easily and the fight starts. Sometimes he listens patiently but never care for my emotions. He truly doesn't know how to pacify me. This makes me more angry I can see the face reading change if i start on anything.

    On top of it im pregnant again. Hormones are playing high with me. Im crying unnecessarily. I dont know why but i cant control. He is helping me with cleaning and the other house works. He is irritated to see me crying unnecessarily when he is helping with everything. I'm craving for him to just hug me and ask what is the matter is. But he never does that if i ask him openly also. This is making me sad. A small change in my tone or body language is enough to make him provoked. Im healthy and happy in my first pregnancy.

    Now with second pregnancy i was always high with emotions. I'm in first trimister. Sometimes i also skeptical is it just hormones playing with me or really something wrong with me. Im not able to hide my emotions. Im telling him pls bear with me for some more weeks. He tells ok but very next minute he is back to square one. He says it may be ok because of yours symptoms your behaving this way but you should control your feelings. I just want to strangle his neck. How many times i try to make him understand he is not getting point. He argues and argues. Now emotinally feeling very low. We r living in a foreign land. We r planning to bring my parents near drlivery period. Until then i have to face.

    Pls tell me friends is something wrong with me or it is a part of pregnancy package. Is anyone experienced this. I just want some peace and emotional solace.
     
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  2. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    HI nothing is wrong with you even still you feel like that you can go for counselling.. getting angry or crying people do when they are weak in heart and all cry and get angry its our nature .. if we dint get angry or cry at all it means we are emotionless people or Robo.. All hav to gt angry and cry at some point atleast to let their stress out..My sis once she got very angry and cried like hell wen she got pregnant den she adjusted.. If you feel you are crying a lot .. i think during pregnancy this is not good for child .. And you should see from your hubby point of view also he goes for comes home and helps you.. All hubby want their wives to be hapi.. may b he s angry bcz u r not hapi at this period of tym and he is coming frm ofc may be he want you to smile at him spend tym with him instead of crying .. y dont you try.. cook something for him wait for him in the eve open door with smile may be he can get lil comfort and get his mood out from ofc pressure.. even still you feel like that y dont you write diary.. my best frnd is my diary she is really my pain reliver hope you do it better think about it :D all the best and stay healthy ok and congoooo for second pregnancy
     
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  3. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    @happygirl

    Its just your hormones playing up. Don't feel bad. I was there too some years ago.

    Husbands don't have patience for tears..i realized with time. So when i used to feel odd or bad or felt like crying, i simply used to hug my husband without asking him for a hug. Asking never works. Its feels like work for them. So i started 'taking' my hugs.

    And i used to hug him from behind so he doesn't get to see my tears. I used to warn him beforehand only. 'Don't talk anything, don't comment anything. Its just my moods playing tricks with me.' I used to say this and hug him for a minute or so. It made me immensely better.

    Be happy! Happy mother is a healthy mother!! Keep smiling
     
  4. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    And i used to hug him from behind so he doesn't get to see my tears. I used to warn him beforehand only. 'Don't talk anything, don't comment anything. Its just my moods playing tricks with me.' I used to say this and hug him for a minute or so. It made me immensely better.

    @beautifullife30 Back hugs are always best watched in many series :hearteyes::hearteyes::hearteyes::hearteyes::hearteyes::hearteyes:
    @happygirl try it :smile: :smile:
    [/QUOTE]
     
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  5. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    I hv got husband same like urs..100% same...with these people, once u hv understood that u cannot get emotional support, it is better to leave them..dont expect....dont cry...i am telling u practical point of view..i used to be like you but now I DONT CARE except i take care of him..it may take sometime for him to change...i simply leave it....get emotional support from ur parents who r always there to vent out.....we cannot change certain things...that is life...be happy always...god has given us much space and freedom in this world to be happy....concentrate on urself and ur baby first...that is more important
     
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  6. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Find articles about pregnancy and low mood due to hormones and ask him to read it. To just ask you to control your emotions isas ridiculous as telling a diabetic to control his insulin levels by sheer power of thought.

    If he refuses to understand you need better coping skills to do your own thing your way and use humour to diffuse the situation until he accepts you as you are.

    When he starts on you instead of renting in a worried or scared manner just look at him straight and say, you are not helping. Just keep quiet and give me a hug. Don't ruin it by saying the wrong things. Etc.

    Deal with him firmly and demand the affection you need. He will cave in once he realises your strength.
     
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  7. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Adding to what @guesshoo has mentioned above, don't depend on him to understand your mood swings and accept you as who you are.

    Apparently, you are already emotional, and crying a lot before this pregnancy. With this mood changes, I get what do you mean by crying.
    Not everyone rightly understands this. Not even the women who went through these stages before.
    But that's not the end of life.

    Just relax. Ask him to corporate. If that is not a choice, find your own coping mechanism.

    Indusladies is a best place to vent and share your mood too. In addition, try to be spiritual, that helps.
     
    happygirl likes this.
  8. Vidhya84

    Vidhya84 Senior IL'ite

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    Try prenata yoga for some inner peace. helped me big time when I was preggo!
     
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  9. happygirl

    happygirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank u caide,
    Yes what u have suggested is true, but if i was normal i can try all this, but now im not able to do anything how we can dance as emotionless doll even as normal. Im trhing very hard to cope up this stage. Thank you once again for taking time to respond.
     
    Caide likes this.
  10. happygirl

    happygirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you beautiful,
    Your post bought smile to my face. Yes i will surely try this. Thank you.
     

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