Is My Sister Correct

Your sister probably feels that your mother cannot rest with young kids around , which is very true . So she is just watching out for your mother.
Some families have one dominating member whose opinion everyone seeks and values. They like to be in charge all the time and that is what your sister is doing . Is it possible that she feels that your mother is overworked when you visit her every month ? If yes, she is acting preemptively so that it does not happen when your mom is not well.
visit your mother without the kids to make sure she is ok and help out if you can. Your sister should not have a problem with that. If she does , be firm and explain that you are there to help your mother .

 

It is quite possible that this happened due to your mom sharing about your naughty dd. She must have repeatedly stated about how challenging it may be for her age to manage a tiny naughty kid. Because no one just says something like this out of the blue, that too this strongly n repeatedly, so it definitely has a back story to it.

I have seen this happen in different cases between parents n siblings. Just like your mom may share stuff with you, she will share about you n your kids to your sister too.

She must have kept quiet for so long because your mom must have said she's ok to manage. But now that she herself is in need of care, your sis is just watching out for her.

Your sis being the oldest, it's obvious she maybe dominating. It's nothing new or strange. Every family has one member like that. Don't take that personally.

Just support your mom leaving the kids back home or ensure that you take care of them strictly and your mom doesn't end up doing anything.

At the end of the day, it's all about your mom and her health n recovery.

 

I think She may not know how to tell you properly. Think she is not that much matured..and she has taken privilege on you and feels mother should get proper rest.

 

Your sister is absolutely right in her thinking but is a little bit harsh in her conveyance.
If you feel like helping your mother just go and help her. It is advisable to take your daughter to see her grand mom for she is attached to her but make sure it is for shorter period like an hour or so and let her know about her grandmom's situation. She may understand Children are bound to be naughty and a little bit stubborn at that particular age. No child is hassle free at this age if they are they aren't children Never blame them.

I think your sister won't object you helping them. Your help starts with letting your kids know about the situation and controlling them a little bit and making sure they won't be creating more mess in an already messed up situation as of now. Don't be disheartened by your sister's harshness. She is just being the hard one and trying to save your relationship with your parents may be. Because I know it. I become the hard one when my loved ones can't convey something to some one.
Be gracious in such situations.

 

Op, Your sister has taken being asked opinion about everything as a sense of entitlement to boss over you in this instance. While your kids maybe naughty and trouble your mom, she cud have told you in a nice way . But she had to take a commanding tone and treat u bad. This shud be a lesson on how the dynamics are in your family.

Next time you visit your mom ask before will it be a problem.In a few weeks, after your mom recovers tell her you will appreciate it if she tells you having your kids is a problem in person always.If your sister is being rude better tell her in person you don't like her bossing you. Good Luck.

 

To be honest, as much we think kids are cute,fun and grandparents adore them, the fact remains that they are noisy , restless and a lot of work ! I think there are way too many people with you , your kids and sis in one house. Can you imagine having a quiet moment for your mom to rest ?Since you visit her every month , you can take it easy this time and let your sis handle it for the moment. She is working so she won't stay with her for too long and you can take over once she leaves . I also doubt that you can help much with your mom since you already have your hands full with a toddler and an infant . Tell me with a toddler clamouring for attention, running around , an infant and his schedules , his naps, his meals , how much can you help ? Your mom needs rest and with kids in the house , I doubt anyone can rest. Your sister was quite honest in saying whatever she did. Maybe she was rude which is not right but she was just saying this out of concern for her mom .

 

Irrespective of whether your sister has a point or not, it does not diminish your take and perspective on the situation. If I were you and wanted to stay back, I would have. Would it be more difficult with your daughter - may be so - but this is also a life experience for everyone. Your daughter will observe and learn what it is like to have 3 generations in a household and care for one another in terms of difficulty. As it is, children these days are in a sheltered protective bubble and seldom get to experience hardships. Even if she is only 3, she will still learn and understand she should not bother grandma when she needs to be left alone.

 

Ur sister is correct but the way she told was wrong...just tell her that it hurted u and too b so harsh like this..and don't think about this anymore just forget.