Is It Wrong Being A Sati Savitri

You live in US, and I assume that you are eligible to work there.

Look for a job, prepare yourself for the interviews, so that you get the desired job as soon as possible.
Don't wait for the dream job for now. Just get into a decent job for the time being, and you can always shift to the better job later on.

Leave your child in a best day care center you can afford to.
Leave your guilt aside as almost all the kids of the working women in the US are left at day care centers, and it is safe.
The positive side is that your kid gets friends at the early ages, and they get to learn a new language, learn rhymes and skills which would be useful for them at school.

Ofcourse your H and in laws would find fault in it. They would criticize you and make you feel guilt.
One way or the other, they would try to make you sad and upset for this life. Now they make you feel like a begger, and worthless human. Further, may be they make you feel like a bad parent.

Your life should be all about how you feel about yourself. Not about how others feel about you.

My husband says, I am a wonderful wife. My kids say I am a great mom. My friends say, I am an empathetic companion. But my in laws say, I am an arrogant, nasty, controlling freak.
Now, what important is, what I think about myself.

You have already made a wrong decision by quitting your job. Your husband was jealous of you. He accused of you for having EMA. He made you feel uncomfortable like a maid at home. Yet, you chose to be his dependent.
Despite knowing him well, you emptied your savings, and quitted the job to be his complete dependent. That too with a child.

It is our wrong decisions that spoil our lives. Now it is not too late.
Take charge of your life. Having a career is utmost important to take that power back.

You have made a wrong decision by believing it is a good thing to follow the spouse blindly. You have regretted enough for it.
Don't repeat it again, and regret later. Be wise, and follow your passion.

 

Are you in India/US? I know, its tougher to get a job, but chances are quite high in india.

It looks like he is enjoying by manipulating you. So please clear all the clutter in your mind, engage in Yoga, meditation etc and please be physically active.

Thanks & Regards,
Rekha

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My blog : www.quora.com/profile/Rekha-K-75

 

He is an abuser and he is going to abuse you either way. First, you need to understand your husband is an abuser. Then you learn to deal with it and stay strong.Don't think that you are doing something wrong.
Stand up and do what do you think right in your marraige.

 

+1 for this

Its high time to think about what YOU really want YOUR future to be- to get blamed by Staying at home or go and get both life and earning!!! YOU need to be a role model to your kid, STOP taking it so much from a abuser.

 

Sorry to hear this. I wish you had mentioned this earlier. Your spouse is really manipulative. It seems that he can't be happy either ways. How long a gap have you had ? I have no idea about the job market in recent times , but I am sure you will find something good even after a gap.
I agree with @Priya16 - your H is a manipulator . He will manipulate you till he feels good about it- whether you stay at home or work. Don't listen to him. Find a job again and this time , don't bother much with him or in laws. As far as house work is concerned when working,hire a little help for the kitchen and house cleaning . Don't take too much stress . Just focus on yourself and your kid.

 

my husband used to say that I go to office to enjoy and party...I don't go there to work...he started putting blames on me that I am having an extra marital affair and I am becoming arrogant coz I am earning a good salary.

He is abusing you left and right. Not sure you knew or not. He is also working and is he doing the same thing at the office?
First, tell him to learn to respect women.

Don't even think you are a Sati Savitri or not. First, learn to stand up for yourself.