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Is It Possible To Manage Entire Household Works Without Maid?

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by dhivyacc, Sep 6, 2019.

  1. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    Is it possible to manage entire household works without maid?

    We are nuclear family. often we get issues (mostly misunderstandings though)

    Certain tasks we are missing it because we dont need to and maid will take care.

    Certain tasks we miss really

    Children not being responsible because anyway maid or mom will do that (such as putting things on place etc) or cleaning the spills.

    They are 11 and 7 both boys. IS it wrong to expect boys to wash plates and spoons / throw tiffin box wastage in the garbage and put it in sink after?

    These are very small matters only but it is creating more problems i know its purely misunderstandings since we both are working and spend really really very small time at home and children also could not learn much from us.

    i work 8-5 my spouse 12-09PM and yeah obviously he is long traveller and he cant contribute much except buying groceries)

    this maids really making things harder - not washing properly , not coming on time could not really maintain time etc, so seeing that he also yells.

    If i stop maid will it work so that everyone will understand that there is some responsibility in home for them or it will back fire on me

    guide me friends
     
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  2. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi divyacc
    Firing a maid when you are accustomed to that living will be very difficult and frustrating if only you are to do all the tasks around.

    Hence one way to test is..give your maid a holiday on certain days of the weekend and see how your family cooperates, then decide on it.

    Now coming to ur sons. Yes it is better to teach them from a young age to share tasks and to never discriminate tasks as it's not a man's thing to do.. there are so many women how are married have a issue with their spouses' not taking up kitchen or cleaning tasks..and relationships have gone sour..

    Well I have working parents so the one way they used to make me do the chores are by giving small things..like

    can you please peel the garlic ( I would take forever to do it small hands but mom used to use it next day)

    Can you arrange the table, but rinse the plates before you keep them on..

    While she cooks if something spills..can you help clean up.

    Oh we used to peel those peas and there used be worms and my dad used to play around trying to scare me..it was fun but the work was done..less work for mom

    What dish do u like me to do..but that person should help cooking the dish.

    But remember one thing there are times when the kids might spoil something,spill oil or you know mess up the place..please don't yell at them. Once yelled they will never want to do it.. rather tell them even you have done that and how you messed it up even more trying to cover it up..and laugh it off and teach them how better can they do it.
    And if they come up with can we do it this way its okay try it with them..it might take longer to finish but at least their exploration will make it fun for them..let them learn..and you will start learning about your kids more..they will treasure the shared time..at least I treasure them
     
  3. Paripoorna

    Paripoorna Gold IL'ite

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    Firing the maid will not help OP. Bringing discipline at home lies in ourchand. You have to give kids some responsibility. Start with put your uniform for washing, filling water for the water bottle, arranging the study table to start with. Later u can continue with washing the plates they have used, washing the cups etc. Make them to help you with small things in kitechen and thats how they learn.
    No there is no gender discrimination in work.
     
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:You seem to know better psychology and that is why u had come up with sound methods by which purpose can be achieved.
    2. Yes children would listen and carry out only if you tell them in a suggestive manner in soft tone and of course with Smile. Playable age anything taught or practice will stand them in good stead for long.
    3. Besides better bonding, in Later years kids would remain thankful for the training parents imparted to them in right time.
    @dhivyacc
    this reminds similar problem faced by my MA.
    • She engaged two maids dividing the work between the two generating competition between the two.
    • Fortunately they din’t team up together but to our delight we found punctuality improved, vessels shined after their cleaning, clothes on stone wash well rinsed and dried up removing twists and wrinkles etc. there was some kind of calmness prevailed and they turned speaking softly to mom.
    • Mom too treated them not as servants.
    Kudos to your response .
    Thanks and Regards.
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2019
  5. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you so much sir.. all credits to my parents as all these methods were their way of teaching me. :blush:
     
  6. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    OP maids are challenging at times to handle. Timings and quality of work and their frequency of leaves may not match our expectation . But they are like salt - we may not appreciate them all the time but their absence may be difficult .
    Your title question : yes it's possible. I have seen my friends in the US not keep a maid because it's simply difficult in that country. I used to wonder how until I saw how it works there.

    1) vessels are minimum on a daily basis as they prep meal weekly or once in 3days and refrigerate the food, heat it and eat. Plus dishwashers are very common. If you are okay to compromise on this, buy a dishwasher and not cook everyday then no maid works out.

    2) dust in the house doesn't accumulate as much as its here in India ..so daily sweeping mopping is not mandatory. We have the habit or mopping sweeping Every single day here . Again if you say doing it daily isn't required still doing it a couple of days in a week is still a difficult one given your situation of working mom with two little boys at home.

    3) Other work too which you assign to maid like bathroom cleaning, vegetable cutting, atta mixing etc will be your responsibility. You can share it with husband like you sweep, he'll mop alternate on vessel washing and bathroom cleaning etc - but it'll simply eat your time with your kids.

    So bottom line is find a good maid after lot of trials and errors and make sure she's home when you are there. (say ask her to come after 5 in evening or early morning at 6) supervise and monitor her work. In that case you can expect some good results.

    Regarding kids : good advice by @Sweety2019 . Simply follow that.
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2019
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  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:
    At #4 my response based on the premise that OP is residing in India.

    2. In other geographies in West in general and US in particular, I stand with the views of My sister @Anusha2917 #6. Let me watch for a while for better and more responses and decide whether there would be need to fill in further.
    Thanks and Regards.
     
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  8. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    As a working person you should let go of maid and then add more work on your plate .

    May be need better management if maid than removing maid .
     
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  9. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    It's very important to teach all kids doing their own work from very young age. I will strongly suggest u to teach kids everyday keeping their room clean, cleaning their lunch box everyday, folding their laundry and organising clothes regularly. Apart from this kids should do other chores like taking out garbage, some housekeeping. In u.s., uk, australia, canada all r managing without maid. Even if u have maid its good for kids future to be independent. Cleaning after u eat is basic manners noted everywhere
     
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  10. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    They are old enough to do quite some household chores and without you cajoling them each time to do the chores. With only you being home with them between 6-10 pm which are prime parenting times, you don't have the time or energy to employ elaborate mental strategies to make them do their chores.

    When you have some quiet time, get a nice cup of coffee or chai, sit down and make a list of tasks you would like each child to do in a day and over a week. The list will be different for each as 7 is young and 11 is a preteen. Husband with his 12-9 job and long travel is best kept out of this at the start.

    After the list is made, order the tasks with the most desired at the top. Prune it down to 10 items in each list. Assign each task points based on its complexity. Next step is to enforce the list. This is the challenging part. Be creative. Instead of getting a consequence or scolding each time an item is not done, they simply accumulate points and sometimes lose points for not doing a task. Have them make a list of rewards or privileges and finalize that with your approval. When points reach a number like 10 or 20 or whatever, they can one reward from the reward list they made. Make it clear that you have the final say in points added or removed, and that is not negotiable.

    So, if child does not do a task like empty the tiffin-box even after you remind, you do it, and simply minus x points from his current points. No nagging, no scolding, no avoidable drama.

    I have tried this and it mostly works. It is less stressful on me because I don't have to take away any thing from child and deal with the ensuing whining. He only gets something more if does the tasks.

    About getting rid of the maid - don't. An un-punctual maid in your house is worth two punctual ones in the neighbor's house (or bush). : )
     
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