Is it normal to resent ur hubby at times?

Hi silvertulip
Dont worry .... your situation is common ...yuor hubby is trying to help you so you can be a goodbahu in his family once you establish it will see to show your real personality you dont have to change your attitude and personality but changing your alitutude is good ..... it is common in relationship to give and take not always give and not always take .... because of this i would never spoil the relationship with your husband ... he is not acting like mamma's boy he is trying to mould you into his family and making a point that his choice is best of all and everyone loves you .... try to listen to your husband for a while and you will see the changes happening

 

Even if you do not want to resent at him, you WOULD RESENT at him, sometimes or often depending upon what your MIL tries to do on the situation. Your act of resenting at him is INEVITABLE.

Same way, your hubby will also development resentment on you, even if he does not want to do so. Again this act is also inevitable.

MIL is only one factor among a long list of other factors leading to resentment in wife as well as husband. You can try and minimise these resentments, at least the one you develop towards him.

Expecting a whole month, wherein there is no single instance of resentment on him, would be impossible. This is the reality of married life. You are just one year into it. Soon, you will accept this reality.

 

Minor issue. Resenting your loved ones once in a while is normal and is usually a sign that something about them is bothering you. Talk it through with your husband and tell him clearly that you don't give a damn and check his response. Also let him know that while you're ready to compromise (you'll have to unless you want to complicate matters further. In fact, everyone has to!) , he must also ensure that the two of you get some alone time during weekends. The solution is to be frank and communicate whatever you feel to your husband and ask him to come up with viable solutions that suit the two of you well.

 

Hi Silvertulip,
It is most common thing in our Indian families, wether it be a love marriage or arrange marriage, everyone in the family including husband has so many expectations on DILs and want her to satisfy each and every member of the family and they forget that she is also human being with same feelings as them and is equally effected by their actions/reactions/expectations/demands, etc. It's not so easy to change this attitude of them nor so easy to mould as per their wishes all the time but we can surely balance it to some extent with some patience.
First of all don't argue with your dh on this issue as this will only end up in fights by the end of the day with your dh. Try to explain your concerns to your dh when he is in nice mood. Let him know that you also need some space for yourself. Tell him that you have no objection in inviting your SIL and BIL and do it and tell him that you want to spend a lonely time with him/want to go out with him alone atleast once a month. It may take a while for him to yield to your suggestions but he will sure come to your point as he will also be missing the lonely time with you. Whatever your issues/concerns are, just try to explain him in a soft way basing upon his mood assuring him at the same time that you will definitely won't be neglecting his family members.
Coming to your MILs instructions just ignore as much as possible and it should not be much bothering for you as you are a working lady and that helps you to spend less time with your MIL. I don't mean that it won't be bothering you much as it will bother every DIL even if it is for a short period.
I think all the MILs will be thinking DILs as their juniors and try to impose each and everything they know/learnt from their life.:bonk Anyway as it is only a year in your marriage, it will be more torturing and bothering for you but believe me slowly everything will be in your favour if you can sharpen your brain a bit more and try to tackle them in a nice way and convince dh in a way to get rid of your end of the day frustrations.
Hope you get to solve your problem soon and all the best dear.

With warm regards,
Latha.