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Is It Normal For A Woman To Text And Call A Male Friend Or Colleague Everyday

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by honeybunny123, Feb 8, 2018.

  1. honeybunny123

    honeybunny123 Senior IL'ite

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    A lady who is an ex colleague of my husband calls him and texts him everyday . He keeps deleting the call history and chats but I have come across it at times . When asked he said there is nothing and he deletes it so that I don’t misunderstand.She is married and in India , we are in a different country. I am not very comfortable with it and have tried telling my husband . He started deleting since then.
     
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  2. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Ex colleague texting and calling a married man every day : not normal
    Married man deleting the chat history : not normal
    Married man continues to talk and text to ex colleague even though wife feels uncomfortable: not normal and very disrespectful
    Because she is in a different country does not make it right.
    Put your foot down and Straighten your honey out ! Take care !
     
  3. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Some years back, this happened with one of our couple friends.

    This friend's wife was constantly calling n chatting with some married colleague. That guy's wife finally got annoyed n called this friend n said your wife is always trying to talk to my husband, n that she's not comfortable n stop your wife from coming in between our marriage.

    Once this happened, the contact completely cut off.

    This friends wife said she was just being friendly n nothing more. So some women even men, likes having that friend they like to talk to or constantly check-in on. It maybe harmless mostly, but some may have wrong intentions or it's just an unhealthy friendship.

    It's better to speak to her or her husband to cut this off if it's making you this uncomfortable.
    I don't know how much blocking her number will help.
    And your husband has just proved to you that he can't do anything more than hide it from you, so that path may only ruin your peace n reap no solution.
     
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  4. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Ya best thing is to call her husband and tell the problem and check if it helps! Tell your husband tat it’s affecting your relationship !
     
  5. sumalynux

    sumalynux IL Hall of Fame

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    No its not normal.

    I personally feel calling Dh's friend might backfire. Your dh might hate you for calling friend (he may accuse of insulting him) also what if his friend and husband talk negatively like why don't you tell your husband to stop talking.

    So try talking your dh, tell if he's OK if you talk to any men and delete chats. Aldo if need be "threaten" of calling her..

    I feel better to deal with our spouse than others.
     
  6. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    A happily.married lady doesn't feel need to talk with her male friend daily. Same with men.second factor is even if it's a harmless friendship , if your spouse has objection you should stop . There is limit to friendship what is the need and place for such inseparable friendship with opposite sex when u have a family of your own .Not justified .
    If you take it to HER HUSBAND I think it's dangerous - dont know what the consequences may be . Give ultimatum to your husband. Next contact her if your husband doesnt change after ultimatum.Don't contact her husband unless it gets worse instead of better-that should be last resort but a sure effective solution.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2018
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  7. Sunburst

    Sunburst Platinum IL'ite

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    Not normal . Better nip this in the bud before things go out of hand .
     
  8. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Tell your husband to stop reciprocating to her texts and calls, and ignore her if he has any respect for you.
    Give him ultimatum and make him aware that you can find out in case if he deletes or hides this relationship.

    Wait for a couple of weeks, while being extra vigilant

    If this continuous behind your back, then start giving the punishment that your H deserves. While contact this woman and warn her of the consequences.
    (Precisely letting her H and other common folks know this)

    And wait for a week for the result by being excessively alert.

    If nothing changes, call her H and inform the history.
    Also call up your family and declare whatever your decision if you are an independent woman.
    By this time , you should know that it is cheating and staying married to this man is pointless, unless you have no means to lead a respectful life.

    If you are so helpless, then this the right time to think about being independent.
    -Join workforce
    -Find a support system
    -Look for lawyers &/evidence
    -Separate assets, accounts etc

    I wish, this is just a crush and hence a passing cloud.
    There are so much blind and harmless relationship.
    But be prepared for the worst case scenario too.
     
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  9. ILUser07

    ILUser07 Silver IL'ite

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    I've been through this and I hope your case is not as severe as mine. My DH used to chat with her collegue who is in India and as he worked in production support he used to say he has calls in middle of the night. I had blind trust on him them. I came to know only after their relation became intense. They used to have sweet intimate talks. My DH even planned to visit her. I confronted and Dh reversed that he can't loose her and he loves her. I've been through hell for 4 months and even faced physical and verbal abuse because of this. I talked to her and that worsen the matter. I later gathered her husband and parents contacts, called them and informed. That's when it stopped.
    Better nip it when it is in bud
     
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  10. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    I think his ex collegue has lot of time. She may be unhappy with her own married life. Thats why they go after other men, be it a friend, on day to day basis for some emotional happiness. Talk to your dh your concerns. If nothing works talk to her.

    I have many male friends, but I don't think it is appropriate to call or text them for no reason everyday.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2018
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