Is it impossible to stop taking husbands seriously?

Hi Deepshikha,
Of course, it is possible to ignore them as well.
Abt my husband- My husband is caring, listen to me and understands me But my ILs create problems in my life. He doesnt say much infront of his parents. if i say anything bad abt his family, he gets very angry. otherwise, He is very nice to me. Help me in domestic work etc.
Now sometimes, i do feel that he is not giving me attention. i do complaint abt it. But he try to do something for that. like go out for movie etc.
I strongly feel that if he will start ignoring me then i will also start ignoring him. i am not like some emotional fool girl who will cry for that kind of husband.
There is one thing i must mention here- Girls start giving their full attention to their husband and leaves their hobbies/friends etc.
But thats nt the case with boys. i think we should give importance to our lives even after marriage like gng out with friends.
i really miss friends in my life. i dnt have any female friend in this city with whom i can share my feelings. There are many things that we cant share with our husbands.
Me and my husband work in the same office so i cant share my family things with colleagues as my husband is on senior position here.
I get good friends in Indusladies, with whom i can share things.
All of you support me every time. Lets see what other's views also on it..

 

So if your husband is not taking you seriously and ignoring you and you want to ignore him as well and find other diversions to focus on, and both of you want to be emotionally detached from each other...... what is the point of being married?
Am I missing something here? LOL

 

Hi Deep,

This is what I was feeling....
people are getting tensed for each & every problem.

Regarding Husband & wife relation: U r just going to be a maid ( cooking, wash, cleaning...), a personal secretary( to work for him on his behalf, reminding him abt the ins, loan, school fee, going to bank, shops...) and a licensed... ( whenever he feels like having ..) whatelse is in marriage.

After a year or two, H & W cannot tolerate each other. They just dont look at each other, smile. Though they share a house,room...they dont know each others need. they dont even care for others ( esp Men). They just stay together for kids.( understanding people dont fight infront of kids).

Ladies, be a Good mother to your kids, teach them, play with them, let them be happy. Live for your kids. may be for 10-12 years they will need you then they want to be free.

For a year or two, the home maker life is beautiful.(but after that its boring, waste of time,
no one notice you, they think its your duty to do) Just Enjoy every moment.

At the same time learn something new, some technical knowledge which will be useful to you (i.e sewing, handicrafts, carpentry, hardware, marketing,mob repairing.social work, teaching...so many are there) Keep yourself occupied (esp. dont watch TV serialshttp://www.indusladies.com/forums/images/icons/icon9.gif )

Know ur limits
Ladies, Life is beautiful, take it easily...no one is going to hurt u, unless u want to hurt urself. Mil, Sil, mother.....all relations are wonderful, until it cross the limit.

Be Happy with urself.
Live each & every Moment..(be it or sad )
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. :thumbsup
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it

So, Smile always....U can make urself Happy,.... U ll make others Happy :idea

Take care,
SMILEEEEEEEEEE Alwayssssssssssss

 

it works for me temporarily
once he knows even i am ignoring he treats me so well so i forget everything and will be happy for few hrs and same thing repeats
i am a person where even if i am angry cant show anger for a long time..all of a sudden in my mind i get this thought life is short so forgive and forget is best thing to do..so people take me for a ride there

 

Malavika- well said.
Lavi - I agree.
Generally we can do this on temperory basis only . If on permenant basis or even long run- what is the point of being married?
We know something is not right in the relationship we should find ways to CURE THE ROOT CAUSE NOT THE SYMPTOMS

 

Exactly , SR09!

If your hubby does some mistake,it does not mean that you need to do the same mistake.There is a risk of loosing your love for each other forever when both of you do not care.

 

Wow...

Interesting thread going on here eh??

I second Malavika n Lavi!!

I guess the OP is frustrated for some reason...(Just a guess Deepshikha)

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"!!

 

I ditto Lavi...

Is it really so hard? If a man can be indifferent why can't a woman be? Not at all, it can hit eitherways... Some guys complain of royal ignore too ...
If In any relationship only one person is over-involved at any given time... it leads to discontentment that you're getting a royal ignore.

The moment you get this feel .. I guess you need to step back and divert your extra energies elsewhere.. if this person loves you or you love him u get back on track... .if you still dont get any closer then the attorney decides your further track :crazy!!!

 

hi ras..

you exactly sound the same..my dh helps me in domestic work if am sick or feel tired,he cares me but when it comes to in-laws he never open his mouth in front of them everything will become opposite,what inlaw as decided will be the final..whenever i say anything he simply reply that is respect and he needs to obey them.he gets angry when i say anything about his family and fights with me,sometime i feel bad,i dont have any female friends to share my feelings..sometime i pour my feelings to my colleagues,me and my DH we both work in same company same post but different department,so he understand the workload and help me in domestic work if am alone,but my inlaws feels am just timepassing in office,ladies wont do much work in office...this n that...my dh never say anything to inlaws how i hard work sometime he never takes me serious when he is with his parents...nowadays am stoped being serious with him,if he didt respond properly then i too wont answer anything...he will get known why am not responding...so we say sorry to each other and try our best to be happy,ignoring each other may coz lot of problem.so i stopped feeling about his family member and never say anything about them even if it is good or bad.

cheers
deepu
Mommy-Daddy