Is It A Friendship Betrayal?

Absolutely not.

One time I wanted to know what it feels like being drunk. So, I told my husband and he told me it is not a good idea, but, he was ok, if I wanted to try. I did and I threw up. He ended cleaning up and I was flirting with him and he was laughing. He recorded the whole thing and I didn't like what I saw. I never want to get drunk. Drunk people can make a fool out of themselves and everybody will have fun at the expense of the drunk person. That is not funny.

Drunken behavior does not discriminate gender. It simply is not the best thing. Drinking has ruined families, people got broke economically and I can go on and on. When a person gets drunk, they lose rational thinking. If one is not disciplined, drinking can become addictive. Sorry, I am not for one taking it lightly, especially, once you grow up and have family. That kind of fun/entertainment is not worth it for me.

 

I agree with u that she should have been honest with her husband about the incident. Yes , some wives might fight with husband if he got drunk once. But will it be justified if the wife then almost starts emotional affair with a married man(her husbands friend), and both of them harass him and his mom, and meet and share secrets and that guy consoles her whenever her husband goes on business trip???
.....Irrespective of ur views on drinking, I'm sure you feel sympathy for OP as her husband breaching her marital trust in worst way which is not justified. Her husband's nature is not good reflected by how he is deliberately crossing all limits with her friend for such a long time; and even if this incident had not happened, her husband would have shown his true colors one way or another. OP should confront her husband, and also expose her "friend" to her husband.

 

Exactly

 

Of course, I do.

The reason I veered because ILs got too busy defending OP and no one addressed the drunken issue or it was looked upon as if "so what?" feminism came into picture. Getting drunk was the root cause in this particular incident. She was embarrassed? I would think husband is the last person you should get embarrassed with. Perhaps things would not have taken this turn and caused so much pain to OP.
@troubledmom
"should all wives just randomly go and beg their hubby’s forgiveness ‘just in case’ every so often?"
OP should regret her actions and there is nothing wrong in asking forgiveness when one is wrong.

Besides, I see more in the post. The marriage is troubled and needs fixing than just this one issue.

OP writes "yet, life was moving around kids and school run amid difference of opinions. ... He is good but not what I was looking for. But I accept the reality yet I told him my disappointments in this marriage. I am also losing temper over stuffs while trying to talk to my h."
This was not an arranged marriage, therefore, the responsibility falls on her to ensure if he was the right one to be her life partner.
Instead of making the marriage stronger, she told him that she is disappointed in him which could have led him to stray away. He was not what she was looking for.

 

OP GETTING DRUNK 1 TIME DIDN'T CAUSE THE ENTIRE PROBLEM.
THE HUSBAND HAS BUYERS REMORSE AND IS JUST USING THIS INCIDENT TO TROUBLE OR DIVORCE HER.

 

OP writes "...not what I was looking for. I told him my disappointments in this marriage."
It looks more like buyers remorse on the part of OP. This was not an arranged marriage.

 

@Topaz49

 

Apologizing for being caught is not same as having an honest discussion explaining her regrets. "I am also losing temper over stuffs" doesn't help. OP was disappointed in the marriage, and didn't have a strong marriage to begin with.

 

I, ironically, enjoyed a glass of wine last night while reading this whole thread. Deadly combination I tell ya.

@Topaz49 , I am not sure if you are realising this but you are blaming a person who had a few drinks in what she thought was a safe-circle. It didn't turn out that way.
getting drunk is not funny, not at that time or the next day when you wake up. Having said this, a lot of us have gone through this at one point or the other (mine happened when I was 19, I swore that will never happen again and it didnt). having a dink is not equivalent as getting drunk. getting drunk is not the same as having an EMA. You know this. why are you playing the devils advocate here? You are all over the place trying to prove that the root cause of the problem is her getting drunk. NO. its not that. Husband would surely have found a way to start issues through some other reason; you yourself have said that she didnt have a strong marriage to begin with. He would have found another excuse; getting drunk is not an issue here. Its not really a sin or illegal or immoral or unethical. Not according to me at least. there is nothing to apologise here.

 

I strongly agree she should have been honest with her husband that time itself . But her getting drunk that day is not the root cause.. the root cause is her husband's nature/character that makes him breech marital trust in unforgivable way and cross the lines with another woman.Her getting drunk is not the root cause, calling it the root cause means justifying her husband's actions- which is simply not justifiable.

OP is not a drunkard and this post is not about her alcohol addiction- (in-fact she drank once years back and responsibly in a private & safe environment not in public/official environment/infront-of-kids/inappropriate place) -She does not deserve what is happening to her for one incident . We should speak in context and here the glaringly bigger wrong is by her husband and her friend. It's easy to get biased because a woman drinking once seems such a big deal so unacceptable whereas a married men having inappropriate closeness/crossing boundaries with other women and harassing his wife appears too common and seems not such a big deal is it?.Rather we should try to look at the situation without gender bias.