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Is How People Are Now?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Mehana, May 21, 2019.

  1. Mehana

    Mehana Gold IL'ite

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    Hi everyone,

    I know some people are super selfish/take advantage of others. But I was shocked totally as I met a family recently. They were good even we invited them to my house for family lunch. It's been more than 5 months they haven't invited us even though her kid and my kid having playdates often(2 or 3 times a week) only at my house or park. Whenever she comes with her kid (without informing me) I always give them snacks and coffee/juice. Whenever the kids have playdate at the park(sometime my kids eat at home so I don't take snacks but if I take something I always take some extra) she brings just 4 or 5 crackers for her kids if my kid ask she will tell give 1.

    They had plan of moving somewhere else and they moved 2-3 months back. I came to know a day before that too when I asked for playdate. I asked her very general question are moving to this near XX school. She replied after 2 days..sorry I was busy will meet later .

    I dont no why people just talk for the sake and doesn't care about others. Only $$$ is important no social or just I being good she doesn't care??
     
  2. saileela85

    saileela85 Bronze IL'ite

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    I have faced the similar issue intact facing...only one fund I follow let it go god is watching...
    I know few friends who just want my company to buy thing at grocery in office time ..I go and come ...no hatred
     
    Mehana likes this.
  3. sbonigala

    sbonigala Finest Post Winner

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    Hi OP,

    I agree with you that it feels awful when such incidents happen.
    Just trying to give you another perspective-
    May be she is going through a difficult financial stress that she could only afford limited snack for her child and couldn't invite you home?
    Maybe she was occupied with 100 other things in terms of moving?
    Maybe she is an extreme introvert?
    May be her H was an abusive idiot who wouldn't let her talk about the family decisions like moving?
    May be he didn't like kids coming over to their house for a play?
    Maybe she was going through some other problem in life which she doesn't want to talk about, which might stop her from inviting you home?
    Maybe she didn't really enjoy your company and was only catching up with you for the kid's sake? - this sounds harsh..am sorry for that but there's a chance right !
    Not everyone likes is the way we like them a d that's what makes us have certain people as friends a d certain people as just acquaintances and certain as family friends.

    You have done the best of what you could do! Organised play dates and gave kids yummy food and drink.. your child is happy with her mum encouraging her play with her friend.

    We have no idea what everyone's story is! We don't know what they are going through or maybe as I said everything is fine and she never considered you a friend - that's still okay.
    Cheer up buddy! People like this are our teachers to show the variety of mentalities/ situations in society.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2019
  4. Mehana

    Mehana Gold IL'ite

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    @sbonigala

    Thanks for your elongated response.

    Yes I thought same regarding her financial status. But I wasnt totally digest when I came to know through my other friend she moved to this near XX School . Also they brought close to 1 billion dollars.

    But I came to know from other friend this how they are (since I couldn't digest I vented out to this friend). They don't even call anyone or they don't join potluck...they don't spend a $ but they always live a luxury life.

    I don't know how they can be like this really shocking...so thought of sharing with you all.
     
  5. saileela85

    saileela85 Bronze IL'ite

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    does she work?
     
  6. sbonigala

    sbonigala Finest Post Winner

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    I understand. But I feel they have their own ways of having fun.
    Maybe she does not like to cook. So pot luck is out of question.
    Maybe she already has a very supportive friends circle and she does not need new friends.
    Maybe she loves herself so much that she is not looking/waiting for someone to bring additional warmth in her life.
    Maybe she is bogged down by unseen/unknown (to outsiders) with loans to keep up the affluence feature!
    Maybe she has a problem with the friend you spoke to and she knew you would discuss her so she just avoids the gatherings as much as she can - I knew 2 women whom I used to meet with other friends , F ad C who are very good friends with each other. I was invited to one pot luck and I had a not so nice feeling about this C because she spoke ill of F with me. Later F spoke about C. I avoided them all together. Turns out they both were discussing me in a party and how I avoid those potlucks and whatsapp groups. ! Do I care - hell NO !! Just dont have time for such people ! Not worth my energy !
    Do I fight with them - No, but maintain a very conscious distance and respect kids' being friends.

    I personally cant maintain friendship with every woman I meet in every gathering and be present in every whatsapp group.
    I choose my friends - my little support circle and positive ladies who believe we raise by lifting others and who dislike backbiting and gossips - thats enough for me. I dont need to be friends with everyone on the block. Does that make me selfish ?

    Did she say /do anything rude to you or your child? As long as she does not say hurtful words and is not being disrespectful - I see no problem in her.

    I say again - we dont know her story fully - nor do we have firsthand info about her , straight from her.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2019
  7. rgz

    rgz Silver IL'ite

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    in before our dear dash of Amul, who is our IL en-cycle-a-pidia catches this :grimacing:
    First billionaire FoF (friend of friend of IL ) :hearteyes:

    Mehana , its likely a 1-2m home she bought
     
  8. Mehana

    Mehana Gold IL'ite

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    Oops haha sorry yes close to 1 million. Typing error ...thanks for catching it.
     
  9. Mehana

    Mehana Gold IL'ite

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    @sbonigala

    I totally understand we don't no other side of her story but being knowing someone for long time we can judge... But as everyone said yes these are the lessons taught for is which I have better understanding in future
     
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  10. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    Please don't keep too many expectations form acquintances or neighbours or family friends ..
    You dont know their interest level in the friendship or their personal family problems..
    They may consider as hi - bye relation while you consider as close friend..
    not all people are same..maybe in future you'll get better neighbours / friends.
     

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