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Irritated With Husbands Habits...please Help!!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by yadh, May 15, 2016.

  1. yadh

    yadh New IL'ite

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    Hi ladies,
    How to make my hubby understand that drinking..once in week and making this a habit and routine is not good....I have explained him softly many times...no use in that....my in-laws never care about this ....they say " all men are so" and indirectly encourage his acts..I get deeply annoyed by this and stopped complaining to them...
    I feel sometimes that whether only I am overreacting...I wonder sometimes how other women handle this....?? Feel sometimes whether I need counselling to handle this emotionally...

    Please help me out...feeling to get out of this relationship only bcoz of this problem....feel that I am betrayed....
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    What is his drinking intake? Is he imbibing to the point of being drunk every week or is it just a couple of social drinks with friends?
     
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Does he get drunk,out of his senses?
    If not ,drinking once in a week is neither bad nor excessive.
    Your husband has the right to drink socially once in a while as long as it does not effect his family and society.It is less destructive for a marriage than constant nagging to stop or overreaction and drama.

    If he gets drunk and causes problem,then you should be concerned.
    If his drinking is causing economic hardship ,then you should worry.
    If his drinking is increasing in quantity and more often ,then you should worry.

    Most men and some women I know, drink socially and have perfectly normal lives.
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2016
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  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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  5. Anusuya

    Anusuya Silver IL'ite

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    any specific reason behind drinking apart from social
    gathering? he might have sumthing on his mind.
     
  6. yadh

    yadh New IL'ite

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    yes...anusuya...there is lot of stress regarding certain things not happening for a long period of time..but pointing out stress as one reason i dnt feel its good....I am deeply worried bcoz its becoming weekly and i am worried about future health issues.....
     
  7. yadh

    yadh New IL'ite

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    I am not bothered about social drinking .but making it weekly makes me worried a lot....
     
  8. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Well, if he is just drinking responsibly with friends once a week you should let him be. Nagging him about this is going to cause more stress in your married life. Make sure that the drinking does not steadily increase and that he is not driving while drunk or otherwise behaving irresponsibly. A few drinks a week should not cause health issues, unless he has underlying conditions where he should not be having alcohol. Excessive beer drinking can cause weight gain, so you can have a conversation about that. But pick your battles wisely.
     
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  9. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    If he is not drunk, it is perfectly acceptable. Unless you have a problem to the smell, or his habits then you should take precautions like sleeping in the next room, letting in laws to welcome him/serve food for him when he is drunk.
    But drinking socially, that too once in a week in this modern society is not that bad as you stressed out. It happens.
     
  10. maya9876

    maya9876 Silver IL'ite

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    Op, when you say once a week, how much does he drink (how many glasses) and what does he drink?
    If hes drinking one or two glasses a week is ok. In some indian cultures its perfectly normal to do so. For example a lot of the punjabis I know drink quiet often, they enjoy their alcohol and they are proud of it. However, in the south (tamilnadu, andhra etc), its not that common or accepted to drink regularly at home. Sometimes, it depends on the families too. Maybe your hubby is grown up in an environment where it is perfectly normal to do, maybe you are of the upbringing where its a no no. So you cannot impose your views on your hubby just because you feel a certain way.
    As you also said, he is stressed out too which has resulted in his cravings. Maybe help in find other outlets. Help reduce his stress. Take him for evening walks where you can bond and chat. Take up going to a beach or park end of the week with him and kids or family.
     

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