Intrusive Relatives! Suggestions Needed

I am so much upset about my husband side relatives.. I posted about my story few months back and also an update that I am now very happy with husband.. although we both have forgiven each other.. and forgotten bad things... looks like his relatives haven't. They act so so possessive about my husband . Quite recently I visited my Dhs paternal uncle here in USA. He had a massive stroke, so we went to see them and look after them for a week... ( his dads brother who is settled here for more than 40 years here) .his aunt in between raises old topic and said.. " you need to adjust, whether he blames or whatever he does ... you should keep quiet... he can easily get other girl to marry.. he doesn't need you.. if you can't adjust pls get out" I politely said it was both of our mistake in past and we are very good now.. she went on again to say that" it seems you had boy friend before to marriage Don't you know It is wrong to date, where and all you roamed" I was outright shocked... I am very assertive from the beginning .. so I said her immediately whatever it is .. it is the past.. I have forgotten it.. no one has right o speak about my character.. I come from good cultured family, I deserve respect.. me and dh are very happy.. I very much want ppl to understand it and not interfere" I said all these and kept quiet. She apologized to me.. but I didn't talk to her till we returned.
NOTE: I did have boy friend before marriage..I have confessed it to my husband before marriage only.. he was classmate.. we liked each other .. we wanted to marry but due to some reasons we broke up.. I didn't had any physical relationship. I don't caontact my Ex bf now.. nor do I remember him.. I love my husband. My husband too doesn't have any issues about my past.
My mother in law somehow has got to know this... once I was simply talking with one of my friend.. casually she was mentioning him .. as she was my classmate too.. she had prodded my hubby then... had made him to tell that I have bf..( she spies on me too much) she has bad mouthed about me to most of relatives circle saying I had boy friend previously and I am very bad... gosh!!! I don't know what to do.. I can't forgive her for this..she has also bad mouthed that I am violent ,not good wife.. as result some of relatives carry that stereotype when I meet them.. and pass very hurtful taunts on me.. for e.g.: MIL sisters when I visited their house once ... I just patted my mothers shoulders while laughing on conversation.. she said .. finally you hit your mother.. that is what you do!! My goodness.. I can let go as a women only few things..not when someone speak about my character.. so I have decided I will send mass email to some of his close relatives saying I am hurt and requesting them to behave good or I have told my husband I will never attend any of his relatives house from now on.. everything affects my husband here.. he is torn between both the sides... can you all suggest me what is the solution for this? Which is better way to deal with the situation??
Should I put up with all these non sensical comments?Please please suggest.
Thanks in advance

 

Thank you @KashmirFlower for you reply... trust me each of your replys soothes me.. it is indeed a great platform.. where even though don't know each other.. try to understand each other and give their shoulders to cry.. I often say this .. if a woman doesn't understand other women.. who else will??
My husband was just in front of us when all this was happening.. his aunt is 80 years old now.. so he thinks he can't answer her back.. we were only for week... so he thinks we need to put up .. regardless of how someone is he expects me to be nice.. he does not say anything to them.. i hardly think so he will not visit some of his relatives.. Becoz of this.. he tells me instead to adjust. He never stands up for me.. it's the fact dear.. so I have decided I will not go to such places where as I will never restrict my husband about where he has to go or not..

 

Thanks @beautifullife30 .. I will definitely follow your advice.. I am not born on earth to please each and every person on earth.. I make sure that I don't hurt any one.. I am good and kind as far as possible.. I can't put up with someone when it comes to my self respect.. no way.. thanks again

 

Dear @SGBV thanks for your reply. I talk to my hubby as you said, he tells me to ignore.. because he does the same thing.. but there is a GLITCH here.. for him they are all his own aunt and uncle.. they might have loved him and showered him blessings and help.. so when they pass comments he ignores thinking they have done so much positive.. let it go.. but for me they are total strangers before I meet them.. when they pass hurtful comments... small things you can ignore.. but the one like above, I don't think I can.

On a general note, our system is so misogynistic.. I know it is discussed plenty times at indusladies.. we get married and now belong to husbands family., parents say now you are an outsider.. you belong to his family.. but in dh family also you are treated like an outsider.. as you come from other family.. what an irony. My question to fellow I' lites ..
how comfortable are you with your DH's family?
Are you still treated like an outsider?
Please share your input ladies.. @SGBV you can share your exp if you are willing to.. thanks again for ur response

 

@Elsa thanks for ur advice.. yes he very well know that they are hurting me.. I just meet them may be twice or thrice a year.. so as you said will ignore them.

One of my friend said something I remember now regarding treating me as an outsider.. she said you are now on probation period... wait until you get a permanent spot in their family