hi I am an introvert and I usually tend to be quite and do my job. However in my office there are people who keep on chatting while working and do small talks. Also I am little shy and tend to talk in small pitch which I am aware. I curse myself for this and even do daydreaming. I do realize that somehow I don’t feel connected but again I don’t want to force that on me. I mean whatever it is this is the way I am. But it happened that somebody while we were for a team meeting cracked a joke on this behavior of me and everyone laughed. I had no option to show my anger. All I could do was giggle with them. I really felt so bad that it spoiled my mood for rest of the day. Still I tried to sympathize myself saying as long as you are working and getting good salary we should ignore these things. Again my other mind said but why should I bear this. Again it said it’s your default you need to work on this. This is something I really can’t control but my mind keeps cursing me and telling me to change this behavior. Sometimes I feel why god didn’t give me this one good quality to communicate and express. Your comments or inputs would surely help.
Introvert nature could be because of low self esteem and low confidence. With some effort you can overcome your issues to a socially comfortable level. What you need is a willingness to change, not for the world but for your own self. Read some DIY books and work on yourself, if that doesn't help, you may enrol in some classes for that. In this world of fierce competition, you have to shed your introverted nature to some extent to be noticed and recognized.
Are you communicating properly with other team members regarding work? Is your introvert nature causing troubles in work related matters? If so, then you need to work on this as management may not appreciate this. As far as your nature not impacting the work, then don't worry much about it. It is your nature, that's it. Everyone doesn't have to be outspoken or extroverts. You mentioned your colleagues do talk while working, do they talk about work related or general topics? Sometimes too much of general talk also creates troubles. I am sure their talks involves gossiping about others also. It's always good to be in limits and to keep the talks minimal in the work environment. If someone comments about you next time, tell them it's your nature and you are happy to be like this and you are not interested in gossiping.
Hi from a proud fellow introvert with no self esteem issues ! I think it’s perfectly ok for one to be an introvert as far as it does not affect your work and personal relationships. You should be able to communicate enough to get work done efficiently. You don’t have to gossip with others at work , workplace gossip is unnecessary and unfortunate. You need to work on accepting yourself the way you are and being proud about it. People will always talk or comment, don’t spend a second of your life worrying about what others think of you. What you think about yourself is more important. It’s important though that you are assertive and not be pushed around. Dress well, be polite but also don’t hesitate to say NO if you need to. Practice talking louder at home in front of the mirror. If you take care of your self esteem issues you will be fine. If things still bother you join a public speaking class or something where you are forced to open up and interact. Take care !
Hi Sapna56 I was just remembering my husband when i read your post. He is just like you, in the sense, soft spoken and introvert. Voice also soft. And he is a teacher!!! Thing is, don't think that something is wrong with you. It is ok to be like that, as long as it is not affecting your work responsibility. In my husband's case, he took some ayurvedic medicine to improve his voice and also made some conscious effort to speak loudly in his class. We should not think that we should be like others. If we are not respecting ourselves for what we are, how will others respect us? I am sure there are people in your office who like you for your quiet type. You just don't know it yet. Are you new in this office? In addition to my husband, i am also quiet type, introvert I worked at several places before marriage. In one office i was also made fun of, that i don't mingle with anyone. I was at first upset. Then i realized that these persons actually were wasting time and are not sincere in their job. I remained the same and slowly won admiration of other sincere people and they became my friends at office. So don't feel low. Cheer up. All the best.
Hi Sapna, Good news.... you are not the only one. There are so many people like you in this world. Usually every introvert is actually extrovert in certain set of people like family /friends or people of same language or culture or dressing. I am like you. I speak a lot when I am in India, a lot and often told to shut up. In India where we have people all around you, being introvert is probably good and does not work against you. Also in office ( in US etc) with indian envrionment ( like I worked in env in past where it was 95% indian male, being introvert helps) Here in US I do not speak much and mind my work but I recently lost my work for same reasons. In spite of having all the skills, no skill to boist myself, I am missing a major skill. I look for words when I am at kids school or in office setting or in gym class among people. It is not language control but as some one said, may be low self esteem or do not what to say, and same way, I day dream. I understand where you are. My kid is in daycare, and I felt so ashamed that I can not speak in aggressive tone to her teacher for not taking care of her, her getting hurt or not cleaned after poop and her in dirty diaper whole day. So being shy or introvert was already damaging to me but now it came down to my kid. After moving to US, where we already have shortage of friends and in office where we work in different color of people, talking or outward approach helps a lot in career and personal development. Unfortunately, people ignore us unless we speak loud to show existence. So in my opinion work on it. work on it.. we both need to work on it ..and I say reading books won't help much. Personality can not be changed with books only it can give you hows. So go out more and socialize more. Well, I used to be better decades ago but after i moved a lot in my life and staying in different cultures, I got blank responses from fellow women, kind of shut me off. Then US, scared of everything here..in the beginning kind of grew on me. We need to work on it.
Hi Sapna, Conversation flow comes to you naturally when you are comfortable in your settings. It is nothing but a learned discipline. You are aware of it, it is the first step. It happens when you are the junior/beginner at a work place, you are being just cautious. Just observing the people, calculating them mentally! It is a common thing. Over time, you will be fine.
yes i do communicate well with team about work. Colleagues are mostly old males and they talk about anything including work just casually. I mean general talks.
For work related stuff, make sure you communicate well , especially while working in a team...in general, making small talk and enquiring about other people's day, family etc helps in building rapport with them..small things like going for coffee break or lunch breaks along with colleagues help in building a network at work..as u interact with more n more people u will lose the shyness and become more talkative ...just work on the confidence and self esteem, nothing to worry about. You do not have to go out the way to gossip the entire day with colleagues to such an extent that work gets affected..after all it's the quality of your work and your ability to complete work before the deadlines that make you sustain the job.. And do not let anyone make fun of you like that..good natured teasing is ok, but when trying to put someone down on purpose so their confidence gets affected is not ok.
