Intimacy Issues - Improving, But Not Resolved

Refractory period changes over age as well as general health and body energy level, from minuets to days. If the man feel extremely aroused, mentally and physically, it can be only in minutes. It varies between individuals. In general, good physical workout, eating well, getting sufficient sleep, abstaining from smoking and excess alcohol - all could help. Partial erections, or intermittent loss of erections before ejaculations are indicative of stress (office / family issues related, preoccupied mind) or indulging in sex due to compulsions (performance anxiety). Indulging in hand or oral sex for better erection is common thing - so what you do is normal.

You will have to accept what comes with healthy lifestyle. Avoid quarreling which add up to stress, do not put pressure, create more passion and desire, you may get better outcome.

 

no one can hit a 6 at the first ball thrown at them...it needs practice

slow down...nothing is wrong with him. Give him some time..

 

Swan, For sure, Be glad he is not asking you to visit a shrink, as a reciprocation to your nagging him for urology visit. Another guy may have asked you to do exactly that.

 

I think you have reason for legitimate concern, but your hubby must already be having self esteem issues if he is not able to maintain errection during copulation. So your going behing his back and getting an appointment with his urologist was not a very tactical move in the long run. Apart from that there may be other underlying reasons for erectile disfunction like high work load in office, try having sex in the mornings at waking time instead of at night when he may already be mentally and physically tired. Learn about self satisifation ie masturbation. I have heard that women use it to satisify themselves when their husbands are not available for some reason. I dont think divorce is the answer. How do you know whether the next man can perform or not? In Indian society atleast you cannot bed him before you wed him, atleast not openly. Now your sex drive is high, but if some thing happens (like a demanding toddler) in future and your sex drive falls, would you consider it as a ok signal for your Hubby to divorce you?

Sex is a very important part of married life, but it is not everything. A sexually active man can be infertile. there is no guarantee that just because the gun is loaded, the bullets are real. They may be duds. In the long haul a caring and compaasionate nature in the husband is more important than physical relationship. What is the use of having ten orgasm a day if at the end of the day you cannot cuddle him and go to sleep peacefully? You have mentioned you had sex 6 times a day. let me tell you that is more than average. and while trying to get pregnant it is better to have sex on alternate days than daily as any competent gyneacologist will tell you. If you want to have a baby, your focus should be on having a baby not on your partner's sexual performance unless ofcourse he has premature ejaculation. There are excercises and yogasanas which help with erectile disfuntion and beleive me there's nothing more guaranteed to bring down a mans errection than the feeling that his partner is rating him for his perfromance and dissecting it to others, no matter how close friends and relatives. If theres a problem go to a doctor instead of somebody whom he will probably meet everyday and maybe feel embarassed. Dont take his sexual performance personally. I hope I dont come accross as somebody supporting only the mans point of view, but I felt these were valid concerns. Sorry if I hurt any feelings. If you were my daughter or sister I would have given the same advice.

 

As the slang here goes in US---advice to poster, calm down---lol !! don't think of him as a machine ..overall performance depends on many factors !!

n totally agree with what yellowmango said !! ur overdrive might be off putting to ur hubby! So, calm down!

 

"My drive is very high. I want to sexually intimate on a daily basis. "

To be frank, wanting to have sex on a daily basis is not a "very high". Considering how enjoyable an orgasm is, everybody wants to have it as much as they want . The thing is nobody likes feeling forced to do a thing even if its an orgasm. Maybe at first he was intimidated by your attractiveness and could not perform due to anxiety. Now he is too wound up to even try. Try going on a sexual fast for a month. Cuddling, kissing everythng is allowed except actual penetration. Tell him that he is not allowed it. God knows once you tell a man that he cannot do something, thats the only thing he thinks about doing. Try to be strict about it for atleast one week. My Husband had severe diarrea(sry wrong spelling), and he just couldnt for about two months or so. we were like ok maybe we are too old blah blah blah. but after a month of healthy nutritious diet everythning was back to normal.