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inter caste marriage issue, how to convince parents, plss advice

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by pandu123, Jan 5, 2012.

  1. pandu123

    pandu123 New IL'ite

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    Hi, i am a 25 yr old brahmin girl, in love with a 27 yr old non brahmin guy. We both are working. My father expired in a road accident 2 yrs ago. My mom witnessed it and she was in depression until recently. I promised her that i will support her all through. But, later i fell in love with this guy. I have a younger sister. My mom came to know about my love 6 months back and she's completely against it. She does not even want to talk to him. My family did not expect it from me, nobody supports it. They even state my sisters marriage will be a problem if i dont marry a guy of my brahmin community. There is no problem on the guys side. Going out of home and marrying is an option but it is a very difficult thing for me, as i have taken up the responsibilities after my father expired, and i am worried about my mother. She does not keep in good health after the demise of my dad. And its been a tough time trying to forget that guy. I always want to try again. He is the guy i have always dreamt of, about my husband.
    please suggest me. I have been badly upset about this issue. I dont know what is the right thing to do. I am torn between two sides, unable to leave either of them. pleeaasee advice.
     
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  2. dbuddhiwant

    dbuddhiwant New IL'ite

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    Hi,
    It was very sad to here about your father's demise. As far as my opinion is concerned I think you should go with your mom. There is a quote "Many persons have the wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." I know, that guy is also important in your life but more than that your mother needs you.
    Few years back I had also faced the same situation and at that time I was also under great depression. I also have a younger sister and a brother. The same question was there in front of me, but I did what my mind told me, i dint listen to my heart. It hurted me a lot but that was a very hard decision that I took and now at present I am married, a mother of a kid and leading a peaceful life. my sister has also got married and well settled. Everything is fine now. Now when i think about that phase of my life I can say I took a right decision at that time otherwise my family would have suffered a lot. As a matter of fact we dont have any right to ruin anybody's (brother, sister and parents) life. For that one person I would have lost my whole family and my family is more important for me. So you also think twice and dont be selfish.
     
  3. simrose

    simrose Bronze IL'ite

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    You don't have to leave your house and it's not mandatory to leave your boyfriend. Is it possible for you and your guy to wait for another 2 years, find a guy for your sister as well and support your mom too. At this time, you need to be with your mom, talk very rarely about your relationship, let your mom come out of the worst scene's she's ever seen in her lifetime, let your and your sisters happiness fill in her and then one fine day you tell her you still love this guy. You have tried ample times to come out of his thoughts and not been able to. Let's see what will be her thoughts about this. Society has changed, if people talk at your back now, even they have children who will do the same thing and at that time society knows to shut it's mouth.

    Why I'm saying all this is, you might think about your family and sacrifice. What about your guy? Would you want to make him the "bali ka bakra"?
     

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