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Indian Marriages

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sunshine04, Jun 17, 2019.

  1. NaiveLady

    NaiveLady New IL'ite

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    As others have already mentioned, this type of situation is not easy for you. It sounds like no matter what you do it won't be good enough for them so the important thing to realize is to start living your life and be confident to stand your ground. You don't have anything to lose if they criticize you anyway. Besides, just because you are a girl it does not mean that your side of the family does not matter anymore after marriage, they are still important (perhaps more to you than your in-laws...who will be there for you if you go through a difficult time? I would hope it would be your mother and father more than your in-laws). Try to get your husband's support as much as possible without alienating him from his family. Do you work? It will give you the excuse to get out of the house for a good portion of each day. Also try to get an independent place for you and your husband if you are in a joint family situation (and limit the in-laws visiting unless they can treat you decently). And yes, you certainly don't need to tell them every detail of your life too, that will help you put up with such people (e.g. what/when you eat, spending habits, and other personal things). Are your parents aware of your difficulty or have any ideas of their own? Good luck!
     
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  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Very true.
    Just manipulating the dil to suit their needs
     
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  3. Hopeless4lyf

    Hopeless4lyf Senior IL'ite

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    Indian marriages seem to be messy if you don't speak up for yourself and try to please everyone.
     
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  4. mayaangel

    mayaangel Silver IL'ite

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    Yes Manipulation.. huh ! I am too staright forward and recently had to touch my in laws feet pleading mercy so that my DH would stop accusing me in front of my daughter... so strange.. i always thought he was the best that happened to me. I am so broken and i can never see him the same way. In laws are marriage breakers.
     
  5. Hopeless4lyf

    Hopeless4lyf Senior IL'ite

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    Indian marriages are also less about the people married to each other and more about Father or mother's cousins in laws bua's thoughts about what the couple should focus on or do.
     
  6. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    It is a caveat-emptor scene. With no consumer protections or lemon returns. Not meant for the clueless, but alright for those who know well their bargaining position in the JV, and take strategic positions toward salvaging a profit.
     
  7. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    Me thinks it's the irreversible (theoretically, no, practically yes) nature of Indian marriages of being tied-up to the current spouse/family that leads to this 'stuck' situations.

    That he/she won't walk off the marriage gives an additional power to the spouse.
     
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  8. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    I whole-heartedly agree. Being connected by family, takes "being stuck" to another level.
     

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