1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Indian Marriages

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sunshine04, Jun 17, 2019.

  1. NaiveLady

    NaiveLady Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    As others have already mentioned, this type of situation is not easy for you. It sounds like no matter what you do it won't be good enough for them so the important thing to realize is to start living your life and be confident to stand your ground. You don't have anything to lose if they criticize you anyway. Besides, just because you are a girl it does not mean that your side of the family does not matter anymore after marriage, they are still important (perhaps more to you than your in-laws...who will be there for you if you go through a difficult time? I would hope it would be your mother and father more than your in-laws). Try to get your husband's support as much as possible without alienating him from his family. Do you work? It will give you the excuse to get out of the house for a good portion of each day. Also try to get an independent place for you and your husband if you are in a joint family situation (and limit the in-laws visiting unless they can treat you decently). And yes, you certainly don't need to tell them every detail of your life too, that will help you put up with such people (e.g. what/when you eat, spending habits, and other personal things). Are your parents aware of your difficulty or have any ideas of their own? Good luck!
     
    SinghManisha likes this.
  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,117
    Likes Received:
    2,686
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Very true.
    Just manipulating the dil to suit their needs
     
    SinghManisha likes this.
  3. Hopeless4lyf

    Hopeless4lyf Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    21
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Indian marriages seem to be messy if you don't speak up for yourself and try to please everyone.
     
  4. mayaangel

    mayaangel Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    911
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes Manipulation.. huh ! I am too staright forward and recently had to touch my in laws feet pleading mercy so that my DH would stop accusing me in front of my daughter... so strange.. i always thought he was the best that happened to me. I am so broken and i can never see him the same way. In laws are marriage breakers.
     
    yellowmango and PurpleRoses like this.
  5. Hopeless4lyf

    Hopeless4lyf Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    21
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Indian marriages are also less about the people married to each other and more about Father or mother's cousins in laws bua's thoughts about what the couple should focus on or do.
     
    shravs3, yellowmango and PurpleRoses like this.
  6. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,147
    Likes Received:
    5,088
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    It is a caveat-emptor scene. With no consumer protections or lemon returns. Not meant for the clueless, but alright for those who know well their bargaining position in the JV, and take strategic positions toward salvaging a profit.
     
    Vaikuntha likes this.
  7. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    2,517
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    Me thinks it's the irreversible (theoretically, no, practically yes) nature of Indian marriages of being tied-up to the current spouse/family that leads to this 'stuck' situations.

    That he/she won't walk off the marriage gives an additional power to the spouse.
     
  8. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,025
    Likes Received:
    2,216
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    I whole-heartedly agree. Being connected by family, takes "being stuck" to another level.
     
    Vaikuntha likes this.
  9. holyanderson

    holyanderson New IL'ite

    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Due to many reasons, Indian marriages are so messy and time it is not in the favor of women. Today use of matrimonial sites in India, women choose their life partner as per their choice and they have multiple options.
     
  10. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    300
    Likes Received:
    547
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Indian marriage sucks bigtime. 99% due to jealous, insecure, greedy inlaws.
     
    Vaikuntha and Sunshine04 like this.

Share This Page