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Inappropriate discussions by co-worker

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by Sharmili, Jan 23, 2006.

  1. Sharmili

    Sharmili New IL'ite

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    I work for a call center in bangalore. As you would imagine, there are 600 call centre workers in our company - both men and women. All of them are very friendly and descent people - except one.

    I have this male co-worker who for some reason gets enormous pleasure out of having inappropriate conversations with me. In between calls, he would come by my cube and start what would seem like innocent discussions at first. Then he would take the conversation into pretty sexy territory.

    A few days ago, he came by and told me that they are expecting a baby in their family. I congratulated him. He then said that with this night work at the call center, he couldnot "attend" (twinkles at me) to his wife. So, they had to go on a vacation to Coorg to make "it" (again twinkle) happen. He then laughs at his own joke. He continues on and on even though I show a disinterested expression in my face.

    Not sure how to handle this. But, I am hoping that time will change this idiot.

    Sharmili
     
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  2. AGR

    AGR Bronze IL'ite

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    Re:Communicate.............

    Hi Sharmili

    I think you should bluntly tell him that you dont appreciate this sort of talk whenever he brings up topic like this and change the topic to something else.......and still if he does not respond you can just tell him that you dont have time for him.........it has to be communicated to him throu some way that you dont like his behaviour........ur silence would only encourage him........(though otherwise he might be a good person)........so communicate what u have 2 at the righ time .............
     
  3. Sharmili

    Sharmili New IL'ite

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    Hi AGR,

    Thanks for the response. I typically don't keep quiet. I show my uninterested expression in the face. The problem I am having is trying to find the courage to tell him in his face. So far, I am unable to do it because I don't want to create a scene in office. I am sure I will blurt out one day.
     
  4. akila

    akila New IL'ite

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    Don't extend any couteousness!

    Hi Sharmili,

    It is nothing wrong telling such people bluntly on face. Don't extend any courteousness. For his age, by now he should have the maturity to know what he can talk to a female colleage and what not to talk. Otherwise, he deserves only a blunt response back.

    At the work spot, mental peace is important. Such behaviors disturb at work and makes the place itself unpleasant and increases stress. Already, I am sure you have lots of stress at work that needs to be handled. Why have this one too?

    Good luck in cutting him down.

    Cheers,

    Akila
     
  5. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Tell Him Right On His Face

    Sharmili,
    I can appreciate the trouble you are going through. Like any woman you don't want to rough it up at the workplace earning a bad name for yourself. But silently bearing that idiots advancements is far too riskier. I think you know male psychology. Whenever a man eyes a girl he first cracks jokes, then goes to A jokes, and if the lady bears it silently he thinks that she likes him. Your silence might turn out to be a positive encouragement for him.
    That doesn't mean that you should shout at him or slap him, at least not at this stage. The best way is to tell him softly (preferably with a smile) but firmly that you don't relish his comments. And that you are stressed up because of him. And that you are on the limit of your patience. If he does the same thing again, tell him, that you would have no option but to prefer a sexual harrassment complaint with the HR Dept. What that person is doing is a punishable offence.
    If you have any mentor in your office you may discuss the matter with her. If you have a HR Executive who can understand you may get her counsel.
    Whatever it is don't postpone telling him on his face. Any further delay will only complicate the problems.
    Varalotti
     
  6. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Draw the attention of others

    Dear Sharmilii,
    As Varalotti said, tell him bluntly to the face that you do not like the way he speaks. Or else, talk with other colleagues previously about this and as soon as this creep starts to talk, call the others loudly and tell that 'this fellow says that he cannot attend to his wife at home and he had to take her out of station for that'. He is sure to feel embarrassed. You can start with 2 or 3 colleagues and then call more people if he has not understood still.
    Varloo
     

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