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In Search Of A Perfect Partner...!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Archanaanchan, Jun 30, 2017.

  1. Archanaanchan

    Archanaanchan IL Hall of Fame

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    There has been too much evolution in overcoming the tradition of 'Marry whom we think is right for you':)

    Happy about the current days and thanks to those parents who have enough maturity to accept the descion of their childeren to choose a life partner. There is a trend where the teens are commiting relationships early in their school/college/proffesional life,many sustain while the others don't. The trend of arrange marriages also have not fallen out of fashion, but there has to go enough appreciation to the current gen parents who let their children make a choice:)

    How do we usually choose a life partner?( This is the most confusing question ever asked..) Like we say no two species are exactly similar among the homo sapiens.. For each of us the 'criteria' or the 'wants' differ. A teen in school may be impressed by the looks, the popularity among the friends... There may be not enough maturity to think on a higher level this point of time. Coming to the proffesional age, earning ,looks, education to name some as priority needs. Proceeding further to the arrange marriage set up, the criteria gets even complex and stands on a combined descion of parents.

    Manier times, our choice of a perfect partner is influencial. Call it the influence from the movies or may be from a friend or may be somebody else.. There is always a debate on how she/he should be. Most of the times we fail to evaluate or consider what is really important!!

    I have always thrown questions to many around me of whom would you accept as your partner?
    The most common answers among many being .. someone who is handsome.. someone who is like a friend.. someone who is well educated.. someone who is well settled in life!!! While i too lived with these thoughts but only until i married!!

    Above whats all quoted above I personally feel the first thing that should be striking the mind is ....there has to be someone who should be comparable with you .. who is a positive mate who can stay with you with functional harmony!! Someone who is co-operative.. Shouldn these be te first to name? And then offcourse comes your education, money background!

    I have been married to wonderful guy today!! I was a studious kind of a girl since my school days whose primary focus was to study and top the class... I always had a wish that i should be married to someone who my father would find.. I being extremely close and open with my dad never missed any opportunities to share anything and everything i felt! My friends were in relationships working towards marriage while i was running my initial professional life..Influenced highly by friends, i wanted to marry someone who would look hunk, studied well, earn well, have enough property, lives abroad.. While the match fixning saga started at home.. I met a few guys and rejected for very reason that i felt were not going to be compatible in terms i was thinking:)

    I met my husband over a phone call and had the initial conversation(proposal sent through dad). I primarily wanted good looks. After i saw his picture without a second thought i rejected him. I was very guilty of saying him that i did not want to proceed further because i dislike his looks( he was dark and little chubby). I happen to discuss this with one of my friend and she enlightened me with real thoughts that looks should never matter ,there is something above looks to take account of:)

    As a regular girl i was not ready to accept her thoughts initially , i continued to see guys in the match making saga and slowly started realising that i had felt a lot better speaking to this guy whom i conversed on phone. Then i took a break , messaged him that i wanted to meet him. He was on an onsite assignment working abroad and said that he cannot come just to meet. we could fix up a video call and talk and take descions further.When i informed this to my dad , he was reluctant . I decided to proceed further and speak to this guy and happen to like him.

    I finally confessed that i wanted to go ahead and marry.we started talking to each other and i told my parents to meet his parents and proceed further. Though my father wasnt much happy about my choice he further decided to repect my descion. Parents met and agreed from both the families. They began to proceed further looking for engagement dates .The guy informs my parents that he could come in a month for engagement and after that we could fix up marriage 6 months later. My father had good faith in my descion and said the whole process takes an year:) Would you want the engagement or are you confident enough to proceed with marriage in one shot? I immediately said i am ready for marriage:) Everyone agrees!! Some people try to alter my thoughts saying i had made a risky descion . we had never had a video call untill marriage:) I stay strong in my descion. I was very positive since i had a strong faith in lord almighty.

    A week before to marriage i meet my husband:) I peep from the window anxious to see how he really looks. There i see a really handsome man! 5.8' tall .. slim and who did not look dark at all....I was so puzzled!! IS he the one i saw in the photos??( He is not really photogenic)!!

    I was happily married to him.My father breathed a sigh !!

    For me a perfect partner is-
    A perfect partner is all about someone who would allow to do a good partnership with you and let the partnership flourish.
    A partner is someone who gives you a profound satisfaction.
    A partner is Who would give extra meaning to the words respect and trust!.....

    Sometimes when you are too postive about something .. go ahead in the name of almighty!!

    Do any of you ladies want do a 'same pinch story archana' to me??!!

    Share your stories of how you met your partners and got hitched to live a comforable life :) I am all excited to know your stories too....
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2017
    sheztheone, parineetha, Amica and 7 others like this.
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  2. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    What a lot of struggle! OP must be a choice catch indeed. For regular people, we tend to compromise a lot, and hope that things work out in the long run. :disappointed:
     
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  3. Archanaanchan

    Archanaanchan IL Hall of Fame

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    @Nonya I agree ! Compromises are a part of relationship , aren't they? Expectations most of the times pulls down a relationship... Just go with the flow works better:)
     
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  4. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    The happiest person had compromised the most?
     
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  5. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, I was just thinking, we are all always searching for a "perfect" partner. But are we "perfect" ?
    I now understand why the word 'suitable' is more appropriate. This is all hindsight gyan, where do you have that maturity in the young age, right?
     
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  6. neetureddy

    neetureddy Senior IL'ite

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    I was born in one country and grew up in another. Wanted an arranged marriage so told my mum. We went to india to visit my grandparents and I said yes straight away. He took 3 days.

    We married a year and a half later - long distance relationship.

    The best thing that ever happened to me.
    His character was far more important to me than looks but I was lucky he looks good as well. We fight we crib we laugh we love.
     
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  7. Archanaanchan

    Archanaanchan IL Hall of Fame

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    @neetureddy
    @neetureddy .. Stay blessed dearie:) Happy to know that you found a wonderful companion for life...
     
  8. Archanaanchan

    Archanaanchan IL Hall of Fame

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    May be or May not be.. there is a duality:)
     
  9. Archanaanchan

    Archanaanchan IL Hall of Fame

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    We are not perfect but do expect everything around to be perfect:p .. On the maturity part double agree @Naari . Share us your story of partner finding if married:p
     
  10. neetureddy

    neetureddy Senior IL'ite

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    I have really been blessed. Great parents in law and brother and sister in law. Thank you archana
     

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