In-laws

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by messedup, Feb 26, 2019.

  1. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello Everyone...I just want to ask how many of you are not happy with your in-laws?? I think many of you will say me too. We go through so much of anger and frustration that comes to us from them. No one clearly know how to come out and live with peace. I can't say that I overcame that completely but my situation has now become much better than before. I dont get hurt easily and if I do I just show a little anger and then manage to calm down. I live with my mil and it was never an easy thing. But still there were times when she supported me. No matter how but she worked hard after the birth of both my babies. Now also she do everything if someone is not fit or otherwise too she work a lot. But we dont like each other much. Still we cant talk negative as we had already faced many bad circumstances of reacting negatively. So we can say that presently we are living at peace.

    As per my understanding at the end of the day we need peace of mind. But we focus more on changing their behavior and take that as the only condition for our peace. But can we do something to change ourself to become less affected by all this drama. We can vent out everything here to calm down but what else can we do? This is a very common problem so let's try to find out its solution in one platform. What you all have to say about this?
     
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  2. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    I have good in-laws for the most part. Our relationship is by no means perfect but we have accepted each other with our strengths and weaknesses. So any unreasonable behavior from either side does not elicit any unreasonable response.
     
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  3. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    I think everyone goes through phase of having discomfort situation with in laws.
    Then the choice is in our hands to work on the relationship to make it better or worse.
    I too had small issues earlier in marriage but now daily I speak with them in video call. So I decided for my happiness I will do what makes them happy.. They also tried from their end to understand me and don't force me like before . .
    It's a "work in progress" and guess it'll be like that.
     
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  4. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    I think keeping ourselves busy and occupied through out the day works..either Job, classes, hobby classes etc..two generations living under same roof 24*7 can drain out the energy..when you got to new places and meet new people you get different perspectives to life and that helps in balancing the mind so it doesn't they affected by DIL-MIL friction which happens in every home...assuming it's joint family...
     
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  5. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply...that's really good to know positive about your in-laws. You too must have achieved this with time. Please share some of your experiences that made this happen to give everyone new way of looking at things and resolve the issues without sacrificing their lives in anger and frustration.
     
  6. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply. Yes that's a very nice thing that you shared with us. Carrying anger is much more difficult than letting go and accept as it is. If we show anger then the situation can never come under control as we will keep exchanging the negative vibrations that has to stop somewhere for a better life. Calling them that too video call and with positive vibrations is a great achievement.
     
  7. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply. Yes that's true that if we are busy then we dont really think too much about them. It always work in my case too.
     
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  8. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    There is no such thing as "perfect", because we are not perfect. All children have difficult times even with their own parents; but, it is more easily forgotten. In-laws, are from different environment, with different beliefs and in reality they are strangers. It takes real effort to bond with them. Getting to know them and where they are coming from and appreciate what they have done goes a long way to connect with them.
     
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  9. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Well Said..:thumbup:
     
  10. MindVoice

    MindVoice Silver IL'ite

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    I like what you imply.. to try to do whatever will get one peace of mind..rather than trying to change them (or in my case, resisting their expectations of me and getting angry over the seemingly unfair expectations)...very sensible..:thumbsup:
     
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