I'm Pregnant And Confused. Urgent Advice Needed

@pinky2cute Glad to hear that you have decided to brave it. All the best.
Wisely use this opportunity to involve your DH with the baby pregnancy and baby. Let you DH know that you took this decision because you feel that you can trust him to support you . Lean on him a little, tell him how his support is crucial for you , gently put the responsibility of taking care of you on him.


@madras2018 wow - your reply has dissected the issue so precisely and laid it bare. If I ever need a counselor I am going to send an SOS to you

 

Exams, Career, in Laws, husband's financial position etc are irrelevant for making this decision. You must continue with the pregnancy and everything will be alright.

Only reason for termination would be the marriage stability. If you foresee even 1 percent chance for a break up from this relationship, you should not continue with it. If you break up after having the child, you might be knowingly doing a sin. You would be doing injustice to that baby. I hope and pray that there is no such situation exists. All the best to motherhood.

 

So happy for you OP.

In my case too, the first ultrasound of 9weeks was one of the most beautiful moment that confirmed a life inside me. I worked full term during my pregnancies.

Consider this baby as God sent & as a blessing in disguise to get your life on track.

No one is perfect. Try to see positive aspect in dh . Look forward and think you three as a team. Make him part of this journey together. Take him to doctors visits along with you. Spend time together as much as you can . Enjoy this pregnacy and it's dreams.. instead of worrying on relationship work on it. Dream about it. Love can win wars
Wish you a happy healthy pregnancy and a great life & career ahead

 

never mind...just saw your response.

 

Now that you have made a decision , please look into ways for you as a couple to be more bonded . A child will not magically take away your issues . You need to work on that . the most important decision a woman makes is not whom she marries but whom she has a child with ..good luck!

 

Vow vow ladies superlike for each and every reply here supporting OP to keep the baby...op's routine problems just like a smokescreen hid the bigger beautiful reality inside and confused her..But you helped her to demystify it..I have to learn from all these positive perseverant mothers here...And I too take back my opinion regarding termination of pregnancy..Sometimes you get overloaded that you forget all the positive aspects..

And regarding our parents and siblings..those are actually gods in disguise living with us..In my case they were not only my pillar but my complete foundation..They were with me holding my hands even in the most darkest phases helping me sail through..And here am alive!

Pregnancy is a beautiful gift bestowed on us by god..OP My heartiest congratulations and 2018 is going to be really happy and wonderful for your little family...Convey my wishes to the LO inside

 

Absolutely move forward with a positive mindset. Remember, you are bringing forth a new life. The child's life has already begun according to certain philosophies. So let this be the end of your mental muddle of should-i/shouldnt-i keep this baby. If you continue along those lines, you will torment yourself with over analysis, in turn stress the foetus, and put a strain ln your marriage as well with various needless arguments. Your pregnancy hormones may end up fanning the flames more. So try to park all marriage related issues for 1 year atleast so that as a mom, you are happy & cheerful rather than tense & tearful.

Infact as I see it, being away from your in laws during pregnancy on account of your degree program is possibly the best set up for you to avoid stressors given how delicate your relationship with them is. After the baby arrives, you can like many couples do, use the "house too small for our growing family" excuse to wriggle out of a joint family set up.

Ultimately every scenario has positives and negatives. Learn to see both aspects & exploit the opportunities a situation presents instead of fixating on the downsides. Give the child the best possible start by welcoming him/her instead of viewing it as someone who upset your plans. I have known people who were deeply hurt when their parents tactlessly told them that they werent happy with the pregnancy as it upset their plans. Dont underestimate the long term consequences of such thoughts.

Goodluck.

 

Sweety, I entirely understand. Of course we always want to avoid an abortion, but in your circumstances it is ENTIRELY understandable if that is what you end up deciding.

Pregnancy is not easy under the best of circumstances. Under these circumstances it must seem like pure hell.

At the end of the first trimester the fetus is NOT A BABY. It weighs about 3/4ths of an ounce - something around 20g. This is not a baby yet.

Taking time off school is highly risky. Especially for this reason. I wouldn't do it myself, but only you can decide for yourself.

This is YOUR decision. Choosing an abortion is NOT IMMORAL. Choosing to carry the baby is also not wrong. This isn't a right-wrong situation, it entirely revolves around what YOU can handle, what YOU want. But forcing yourself to have a baby you don't want just because some people can't have them is not a good reason. Some people can't go to medical school either; that doesn't mean you have to become a doctor.

If you want to continue in school and you are not ready for a baby, there is no moral grounds not to proceed. You do as YOU PLEASE.

Feel free to privately mail me if you would like. I will listen and I'm not here to push you in either direction. Sometimes just expressing yourself freely to someone can help you to organize your thoughts.

EDIT: I see you have made your decision. I wish you well. I still stand by my statements though - there is nothing wrong with abortion under such circumstances. I see some people are not standing by their opinions, but I will.

Hoping for the best for you.

 

I second this. You can finish ur degree and have kid also.
It's time your hubby mature

 

Dear OP,
Even if I say , I understand your pain, it would be a lie, as no one can understand your pain!
But all the people above still knows what you are going thru and also can relate to it, hence all their advises are so genuine.
What I feel is, if you can afford the baby, even if you leave your husband, then give birth to the child! Your education will be taken care by you and your professors. There is also need for you to get a supporting system, so as to distress yourself and get support.
Besides that, keep faith in God.